My Lazy Daughter....?

Question

will not clean up after herself. She is almost 11 years old and I feel that I constantly have to follow her around picking up dirty clothes, wiping up drinks she knocks over, vaccuuming up crumbs, etc. Anyway, she wanted to stay last weekend with her grandma. I told her that was fine as long as she had her toyroom organized by Thursday night. We were seperating toys in piles. 1) Things she wanted, 2) Things to pass on to my little boy, 3) Things to give to my friends daughters, 4) things to donate. I told her to make two piles, what she wanted and what she didn't. Well, Thursday night she told me she just wanted what was in her toy chest. I started going through the stuff she "didn't want" Saturday and found a bunch of stuff that she still likes. I think she was just too lazy to actually go through the stuff. The same thing happened with her clothes that she went through. I have been telling her to go through that stuff for weeks. Her dad says to just donate it. Should I?

Answer 1

Absolutely.  One area parents consistently run into trouble is saying that they will do something, and then not following through.  Such as saying if she didnt clean up you wouldnt let her go to Grandma's, and then she doesnt clean up and you still let her go to Grandma's (I am unclear from your story how that played out, but it works out well for an example).  When you do that, you tell the child "Ignore what I say, it doesnt matter anyway, because if you start yelling or crying, lll back down".  This is a perfect opportunity for you to teach your daughter that you mean what you say.

Answer 2

Sounds like a good lesson for you in consistency and a good lesson for her in listening.

Go for it.

Answer 3

you should deff donate it.

Answer 4

You need to start a RULES list for her for the house. You need to have a schedule and list of things she will be responsible for..and if she doesn't do them..have a list of things that will be taken away..like TV time, no toys etc. You have to be consistant with it or it will not work. Tell her she has to clean up after herself and make schedule of thing she needs to get done a daily basis or weekly..and if she doesn't do it...then no tv..no going anywhere fun..make her help you do the laundry..or other chores she normally wouldn't...trust me if you get it done it will work. If you can't do it by yourself..watch Super Nanny on channel 5 Wednesdays at 7 or 8pm..she will show you..she also has a website or you could even audition to be on her show. Good luck!

Answer 5

Get rid of the stuff, she said she did not want it.  Then go in the house and turn off the TV. If you have to take it right out of the room.  She will scream and holler but she will eventually come out.

Answer 6

Yep, obviously she doesn't care and if she does, next time she will think twice when you tell her to do it.

Answer 7

I would definately donate it. If she misses something, well, that's her problem. She should have gone through it.

I would also limit her tv time. We only do 1/2 hr a night during a week and 1.5 hrs a day on the weekends (unless we are watching a movie together).  Part of her discipline should be striping her tv priviledges too.  If her room isn't neat and her chores aren't done (dishes, etc.), she looses her nights worth of tv.  If she doesn't follow the rules, and watches anyway, you may have to remove the tv cord etc.

I also agree with mean mom. :) In the long run, she'll thank you for being so tough.

Answer 8

I say get rid of her stuff.  "Bootcamp" her - we did that to my brother in law (who is now 20) when he stayed with us.  We stripped his room bare other than his bed and his desk until he brought his grades up.  We locked the rest of the stuff in our storage shed.  Guess what?  He graduated high school AND finished vo-tech even though we were "mean" to him.  

The problem is that there was no discipline given from my mother in law (and she stopped my father in law because he was the "baby").  We told her she wasn't doing him any favors.  People start reaping what they sow when kids hit 10 and up.  

If she was my kid I would make HER pick it up or EVERYTHING including the toy chest goes to charity.

Answer 9

if you tell her to pick her **** up and she dont listen get a trash bag and trash it this will teach her your not takeing her **** anymore

Answer 10

i would donate them. she had the chance and shes old enough to know what needs to be done.

Answer 11

Certainly so!

Answer 12

My son was the same way. Not so much lazy, he just didn't believe that I would follow through on my threats. I told him that before he leaves (for school, to play outside, to a friends house, etc.) his room needs to be picked up. If it wasn't I would throw out everything he left on the floor. I didn't follow through the first few times because there were things on the floor that he obviously loved, so I would give him another chance. Well, after a while he realized I wasn't going to do it. I figured out his angle and finally just did it! He lost a lot of his favorite toys and even a really nice pair of shoes. Mission accomplished though, because now his stuff is always put away before he walks out the door!