My Life Check it please =)?

Question

my life seem to loose color

i don't know why

i simply wanna fly

looking at the grey sky

i realize

i will never fly

i lost my wings

i lost my way

i wont be the same

this is awful

i simply don't know why

i'm gonna cry

i just wanna fly

but is imposible now

i found my wings

they are black and broken now

and i know

i will never fly

Answer 1

Sorry, but I didn't care for it much. It seemed sloppily rhymed and lacked depth and meaning in my opinion. However, on a possitive note, I like your screenname :) Sweeney Todd was an awesome movie except out of all of my friedns and family I was the only one who liked it :( no one shares my taste in offbeat films xD

Good luck writing :)

Answer 2

It sucks.  Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Your life is 100 times better than some GI stuck in Afghanistan on the front lines who left his wife and newborn kid on the other side of the world.  He's not sure why he's there.  He has almost no comforts of home and can't wait until he can return.

Get over it.  Your life is fine.  Make something of it.

Answer 3

Ehhh? To much rhyming off of the same word. Try to mix it up a little.

Answer 4

oh that is very good  when ever you make more  poems or what ever tell me ok

email me anytime my email is [e-mail]

Answer 5

You maid Ur point .. I 'm not gonna call it a poem , but I enjoy reading it .. The writer even as depressed he/she didn't loose his/her sense of humor. Keep on writing.. U 'v got something there clicking .. almost in synchronization .

Answer 6

Your wings will mend

and you will fly

again and again

It only takes time

to find the blue sky

and help you shine

like you once did fine.