My MIL often backs out of babysitting for me full time and leaves town for a week!?

Question

She USUALLY only does this for deaths in her family, but she has a ton of OLDER siblings all on their last legs practically. My oldest is in PRE-K full time, but my baby still needs care. What should I do? Look to put the baby in day care? (Full at my daughter's school.), Find 'drop-in' care? (Don't know who to trust!) and the one's I do ask, look at me like I'm crazy! (coworkers babysitters who only keep 1 child,etc....)

My husband wants her with the MIL until she's at least two, which I agree with, but I have to work full time for benefits. So what do we do if someone in her family dies and we have to leave? I have told my husband that since it is his mom, HE'LL be taking off work, but that still hurts me as he is using his vacation days.

I know I'm being so unsensitive about my MIL's family...........

Answer 1

Everyone needs to have a back up sitter unless they're able to take off work with short notice.

My advice would be place an ad in the paper/craigslist.  Tell them what you're looking for and ask for at least 3 references.  Interview them and make sure they know they're a back up.

Answer 2

Start taking responsibility for your own kids and don't count on your Mother in law.  You are lucky she does it at all.  Start looking for daycare if you choose to work.  It's not fair to think your MIL has to give up her whole life to be a babysitter.

Answer 3

Sorry, but you sound childish and insensitive to HER!  She is family, not a babysitter at your beck and call.  If someone in your family died, wouldn't you want to leave your job for a few days to attend the funeral with little to no notice?  Appreciate that she is providing her services, and your child is with someone you know and trust instead of a daycare all day.  Always have a backup plan in case something happens.  How about splitting the time and using some of your days and some of his.  Find a good daycare that will allow an emergency drop off.  You will pay more, but it's a convenience thing for you anyway.

She is asking for the same consideration you would ask your employer, and I doubt she gets a paycheck.  Keep that in mind.

Answer 4

I agree with Meghan. Although its nice to have mil babysit for you, its your child and your responsibility.  I have a 5 year old and although I am happy when my mom or mil offer to babysit I never depend on it. The way I look at it, they have done their share of raising kids.  Suck it up, spend the extra money on a good daycare.  In the long run its so much better, the kids get a chance to learn stuff and have a chance to interact with other children.  

Answer 5

You don't sound insensitive....you bring home the benefits, right?   He wants his mom to watch the baby, so he can decide to take the day off with no pay or use a vacation day.   The only other way would be for you two to work opposite shifts....you day, him night for example.