My Mate is being mentally physically and emotionally abused by his wife.?

Question

I have known him for 5 yrs, His wife is getting worse she don't like it if he goes out. Also she don't like it if he vists me I am A male not a female. Although they are still living together she dictates where and where he can take the childern, he has organised mediation but she will not go, He has offered her a pay out figer to get her out of his life and house, but she wants more money. He is abusing his body and is at his wits end. He has agreed to finally seek help. Can any one surggest personal counselling and a good legal adviser in the paddington are in brisbane i fear for his safety, as he is heading down the road of depression. Maybe i am bias as i suffer with dsythima (Depression stemming from my childhood, or depression lasting for more than seven years) so i don't want to see him end up like me. Any help would be greatly apprechiated. Lee

Answer 1

He's offered to pay her off to get out of his life? Abuse isn't his problem, it's a lack of backbone. He needs to grow a pair and get a divorce...

Answer 2

Dysthymia is about as common as major depression. Given its chronic nature, that makes it one of the disorders most often seen by psychotherapists. About 6% of the population of the United States has had an episode of dysthymia at some time, 3% in the last year. As many as a third of patients in psychotherapy may be suffering from dysthymia. Like major depression, it is more common in women than in men, but it tends to arise earlier in life.

He is headed down the road to other things than your Dysthymia.  He needs to seek counseling and an attorney.  They are in the phone book.  By the way most people in depression don't care enough or have time enough to go on line and write and worry about a friend.

Answer 3

He is lucky to have a friend like you who cares so much about him.  Sorry, I live in the US and so do not know anything about where you live, but perhaps there is a helpline you could call to get a proper referral for your friend.  Clearly, he needs to remove himself from the situation, but this is easier said than done, and with children involved, it gets even more complicated.  

Do they have anything like Legal Aid in England where he could get the services of a lawyer for free?  If his wife got proper treatment, and if he could see to the safety of the children, that would surely help him physically and mentally.  

Good luck!

Answer 4

Tell him to beat the dumb ***** outta his house.

Answer 5

I am really sorry to say this, but your "mate" has got to do this on his own.

We are only human, and when we see someone in distress, we want to do everything and anything we can to make their lives better, but we can't.

He has to do this by himself, and all you can do is just be there and be a friend and offer your friendship.

Your "mate" can handle himself, he will get himself out of this mess that he is in, if you interferred, you would be only making it worse.

As hard as it is, you have to stay out of this, and let him handle this on his own. He will, he is a big boy.