My Mom just called me FAT!?

Question

I was with my friends today and we were outside playing volleyball when my mom picked me up. We were wearing bathing suits cause we just got out of the pool. When we got home my mom grabbed some skin and fat on my stomach. I was like "What" and she just said that my friends had flat stomachs ans i didn't. I tried to make a joke out of it, but it really hurt my feelings. When she saw that i was crying she started talking about how i should be watching what i eat and how she used to be a little chubby. Now here are the facts : I am 5 ' 6 and 1/2 and i weigh 135 pounds. I am 14 almost 15 and i play volleyball, basketball, and softball at my school and also play recreational soccer and take dance classes. I eat pretty well too. i just don't understand how my mom can say this. I may have a little fat on my stomach, but i don't know how i can help that. Does anyone have any comments (hopefully optimistic ones)

Answer 1

maybe you should check the labels of what you're eating and start a diet

you don't sound really over weight

it shouldn't be too hard to go on a short diet

Answer 2

sometime parents say stupid things, don't worry about it, not if it come to be out of proportion than ill say something, you will be find, u just moving into ur women hood.  be easy and dont let it get to u

Answer 3

Don't worry I don't think you're fat. 5 ' 6 is pretty tall, so you're around the average weight. You play a lot of different sports and eat well, that's a healthy, growing girl for ya! So don't fret. If you want to lose weight, then cut down on junk food.  

Answer 4

The first thing to understand is that your mom means well, but is probably a victim herself of society's expectations.  She wants the best for you, and understands that being fat or even slightly less than perfect is frowned upon in modern consumer crazy superficial society.

The next thing is to ask yourself, "Am I happy with my appearance?  Am I healthy physically?  Do I have a full social life?"

If so, then your mother's comments shouldn't hurt so much.  A lot of parents tend to try to re-live their own lives through their children.  They think things like, "If only I did this or that, my life would have been so much better."  In actuality, their whole life is dependent upon their failures as much as their successes, but it's hard to see that sometimes.

Don't worry about a little fat on your stomach.  You don't need to be a hottie to enjoy life.  You just need to be in good enough shape to be healthy, and it sounds like with your activity level you're well on your way to a life of physical fitness and the resultant good health.

Girls and their moms often have a strained relationship during the HS years.  Just understand that she loves you and wants the best for you, but doesn't understand the best way to help you.  Sometimes parents are victims of their own past.  Just keep up what you're doing, make sure you're eating healthily, and tell your mom that you're doing well and you're happy.

Good luck, and try not to be hurt by what others say when you know that you're just being yourself.  Be proud of who you are and recognize the comments as well meaning but misguided.

Answer 5

stop being fat

Answer 6

I am so sorry for you that your mom reacted this way.  Not to get down on your mom but it sounds like she is the kind of person that is very concerned with what others think.

Please know that you are NOT FAT.  You sound healthy.  As hard as it is, I would ignore this and when she brings it up again I would tell her that you are not concerned with what others think and that you are completely comfortable with yourself.

An ideal situation is if you were able to bring this up in front of a dr with your mom there and have the dr be able to tell her that you are healthy.

To me it sounds like you might always get rude comments from her here and there.  You just have to remember that as we grow, we realize that our parents aren't always right and we truly come into our own person and what is important to us - it doesn't always match what they think.

Just be strong and know that when negative things are said - you are the strong one that doesn't need to worry about what others think.  

Answer 7

Its really important that you sit down and talk with your mom in an unemotional way. You have to tell her that you appreciate her efforts to try to help you BUT that talking about your weight and your figure really make you uncomfortable. Tell her that you took her comments as hurtful and that although you love her, you would like yo be in charge of this area in your life.

Answer 8

It was kind of mean of your mom to say that, but try losing some weight, and prove your mom wrong about you being "fat"

Answer 9

awww thats horrible that your mom put you down like that. she probably only said it cuz she had bad experiences being chubby and doesnt want you to have to go through that. by the sound of it you arent fat. believe me every girl has a little pooch. lol

Answer 10

dont listen to the other guys who commented!!

u r not fat tell your mom she is wrong

Answer 11

If you like the way you look you shouldn't care about what other people think. As long as your healthy you should be happy.

Answer 12

i think your mom whats to help u she said she was fat so she just dose not whant ppl to make fun of u (but i do think the way she told u ur fat was mean tho)

Answer 13

you dont sound fat my mom calls me fat when i start eating to much.............

Answer 14

Sweetie, you are not fat!  That is a normal weight for your height.  Stay active, try some core exercises and you will develop awesome abs.  Eat lots of fruits and vegetables, lean meats (fish chicken) stay away from fried foods.  Drink lots of water. All important for overall health. You are still growing and developing.  I'm sorry your mother said that. I don't know what she was thinking. Maybe because she has/had body image issues.  Stand up straight and tall, you are not fat!!!!!

Answer 15

youre not fat everybody has a little chubbyness to them i mean were not anerexic

Answer 16

tell your mom that you dont wanna hear such negative remarks from her because it seriously hurts your feelings. your weight depends on how you feel about yourself, not a number. im 15 and i know that at this age, weight does kinda start to disappear within a year because of how youre getting taller. i think most moms say things like that at some point- it all depends on how you react to it. also, explain to your mom that self-esteem issues begin at this age, many of which lead to eating disorders. there was actually an article about it in teen vogue not too long ago. sitting her down and explaining how you feel about comments like that could avoid similar situations in the future.

Answer 17

Next time that happens you can shoot back, hey looks like you gotta pack of hot dogs on the back of your neck. Another good one is, hey you have more chins that a chinese phone book. Another, you got more rolls than a bread truck. Just kidding...she's just worried your not watching your weight and it can get out of control. She's obviously concerned, but is lacking in the compassion area and needs a little tact. Tell her that her teeth are getting yellow and don't kiss her. LOL

Answer 18

You Are Not Fat!

135lbs is a great weight!

Do you know how many girls would kill to be 135 lbs?!?!

Your mother was indeed wrong about what she said. And yes, some parents say stupid things and they don't realize what they are saying.

Tell her how she hurt your feelings and tell her that you feel that you don't need to lose any weight, because 135 is NOT heavy at all. To me, thats really small.

The only thing that matters is that YOU like who you are and what you look like. Don't start feeling down about the way you look just because of a stupid comment like that, and I know that it is hard to feel otherwise. But you know what, sometimes you have to let things go through one ear and out the next.

This is YOUR body and YOU look FABULOUS!

God Bless

Answer 19

You have nothing to worry about, you BMI is perfect have a look for youself http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/magazine/int...

The thing is if someone is 4'"1 and are 135 pounds they would be considered over weight but because of you height it is perfect.

Don't worry Mum's say things like that all the time.

Answer 20

I would be annoyed too if my Mum said that but she's probably just trying to make you aware of it and just not wanting you to get fat like so many children now. If you want to do something about it do crunches or sit-ups. I did loads and had a flat stomach but now I can't be bothered and have a bit of a ponch hahaa.

Answer 21

well if i were you i would go up to me mom and say " mom your a dumb b*tch! so dont call me fat when your packing a gut!" lol

Answer 22

its rude of ur mom to cal u fat but 135 aint that bad for5ft6 but i hate to tel u that if ur own mom said ur fat than maybe ur a little overweight but ur not fat

Answer 23

this fat came from you.

Answer 24

yeah you are a bit overweight i suggest track? i know u wont run fast but the running will mk u sweat and burn calories