My Mom won't let me grow up!?

Question

Well im 15 be 16 in nowember and i feel shy and akward around guys. i think its my mom fault because she don't let me go anywhere and too overprotective. So thats why im so shy around guys because i never spend time with them. i never really had a real boyfriend. If i really wanna do something i have to go to my bff house and then go places from there. Her mom is so cool. she really trust her. i dont think my mom trust me. like last night i spent the night at her house and we went to her "brother:(not really her brother )house and its was 4 guys and 3 girls and we was just chilling having fun. we went there around 10pm and came back around 4am. i actually started to looin up around them. and my mom would never let me do that. we was going too spend the night but my mom was going to be picking me up att her house in the morning. i want some tine to be with people my age. not jusst girls. what can i do? i cant talk to my mom she always think im being "fast" if i ask her to do something. she don''t even let me go to d&b!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

I think you should explain to your mum that you are old enough and mature enough to be doing stuff by yourself.  And if that doesn't work and she still is being overprotective ,bring your friends to your house once in a while (boys and girls). That way she can trust you and she knows that you have sensible friends.  

Answer 2

When my daughter was 15, her friends would come to the house and do what they wanted to do.  Like they would make cakes and decorate them.  They would listen to music and learn to dance.  Give each of a new hair do and learn to put their make up on better where it looked natural.  They played ping pong, video games and just talked and had fun.

Now I did have a son that was 5 years older than my daughter and he would bring his friends over.  My daughter and her friends were to young for my son's friends.  But they did talk and laugh.  The big boys just didn't ignore them they were nice to them.  

Sometimes they would go to other friends houses but our house was the favorite and that is what I liked because I knew what was going on.

We did allow her to go to he mall and walk around with her friends.  I always told them to stay with their group and to not get separated from each other.

I think 15 is to young to have a boy friend.  You have the rest of your life to date, but you only have one child hood.  Instead of trying to grow up so fast, enjoy what child hood you have left.

They use to have coming out parties when a girl turned 16.  That seemed to be the magic number to start dating.   Well you are almost 16 but it also depends on the maturity of the child and if she can be depended on  to Just say "no" instead of givng in if a boy wants s*x.  Can you say no even if you think he won't ask you out again?  If he hits you or is rude to you, are you mature enough to tell someone?

It's hard being a parent.  It's not that we don't trust our child, we don't trust other people's children to do what is right.

She will let you date when she thinks you are mature enough to handle dating.  So don't be mad at her or up set with her, she is just trying to be a good mother and keep you out of trouble.

Going over to that boys house and staying until 4:00 AM was not a smart idea and shows a lack of maturity on your part as well as your friends.  

You stayed with them for 6 hours.  Your mother should know about this.  That just wasn't smart.

Good luck growing up!

Answer 3

She loves you and doesn't want you to get hurt, it's a bad world out there and I don't blame her.  

Answer 4

So you don't like the mom for trying to protect you huh? Bummer. Pay attention to to what joe flee said.

I used to think one of my friends moms was really cool too for the same reason you think your friends mom is cool.....until I had to save her daughter, my friend from almost being raped one night. We never told her...but I wonder if we had if she still would've let us just hang with our friends till 2-3 in the morning any more. I wonder if I hadn't been with her that night what would've happened to her & her "cool" moms relationship. I wonder if my friend would've come home that night a battered and abused girl or if I would've got news that she was found murdered some where.

There's a big difference with having trust and being in denial. Your mom refuses to trust you because you obviously haven't given her a reason to show her she can trust you. She refuses to be in denial like your friends mom. I always worry when the guys out number the girls when there's "chilling" involved. She already knows your caliber of friends. 15 year olds should not be hanging/chilling until 4 in the morning, unless they're mature enough to handle it. If they lit a joint I bet you would've toked on it just to see what the excitement of it felt like right? You need to TRUST your mom and earn her trust in return. Find better friends with parents who know how to be the parent and not the child's BFF.

Growing up is showing you can handle responsability, showing you can have friends you can depend on and who can depend on you. Yes, teens will be teens, nothing wrong with having friends who like to party, but don't surround yourself with only those who like to party. Don't blame your mom for your defeciencies. Ask her to take you to d&b....and slowly gain her trust from there.

Answer 5

Fix it now or your mom will keep getting worse.  

Answer 6

your mom loves you, but you have to sit her down and explain to her that you are NOT a little girl anymore, you are getting older and will continue to grow older and will someday become an adult. she will not be able to protect you forever. that is the absolute truth. and if she doesn't let you start growing up little by little now you won't know how to function in the real world. tell her what her overprotectiveness has done to you. talk it out. make sure she listens. and be mature about it. don't be all whiny and like "but mom whyyy noooooooot!?!?!" because then your showing you really are just a child. be like "mom, i want to talk to you about something that is important to me, and i'd really appreciate it if you would listen." but....have you done anything to make your mom not trust you? you doing things behind her back is grounds for breaking trust. maybe you should just listen to her and when it gets way bad and she didn't listen to you when you tried to explain you can maybe do that.

hope this helped!

Answer 7

lots of thing can go wrong to a young age ,such as yourself !   would you rather wake up in the woods naked ?    

Answer 8

Your mom is smart and once she finds out about the secret trips it is all over.Your Friends mother however is cool,but an idiot none the less.

When your friend comes home pregnant or raped her mother will be able to thank herself for "trusting",not only her daughters hormones, but those of teenage boys she doesn't know.

Your mother has kept you safe or is trying to.Now what would have happened if the guys at the house you went to had dope and the cops raided the place?

Or they gave you something to drink and it was spiked with a date rape drug?

Or something happened at home and your mother had to track you down?

If I was your mom and found out  your friend's mom let you go to some guys house til 4 A.M.,I would be tempted to beat her eye balls out of her head.Why?Because your my daughter and that nut is putting you in harm's way.