My Moms an Alcoholic???Need Help!!

Question

My mom as been an alcoholic for the last 13 months.

She drinks very heavily she drinks Vodka neat and downs it like pop she can usually drink about 2 off the big bottles of vodka a day plus 4 cans of strong bow, she would get herself in to some bad states!

She as lost my little sister, my brother as moved out.

She has lost her job, she got done for drink driving and got banned for 3 years, she got herself in to loads of debt.

I did used to live with her but i couldnt take it any longer because she would get violent and take it out on me, plus i would always come back from work and she would be drunk,the house would be a right mess, i would do all the shopping for her etc.

She as caused alot of hurt and pain because of this!

I no its supposed to be an illness but i just think sometimes she does this to hurt all of us because she is being selfish??

I have tried helping her in al the ways possible and so has the rest of my family but she just doesnt want to help herself.

My little sister is only 7 and she is so confused by this she thinks her mom doesn't love her etc Its really sad :-(

Has any1 else been though this or have got any advice on how to help my mom???

Thanks

Answer 1

My heart truly goes out to you. My best mates Mother was an alcoholic for years from when she was aged about 10 years upwards. My mate is 42 now and still talks about the pain and hard time she went through with her mother.

The first thing to know is alcoholism IS an illness and an addiction. You simply are not able to just stop. The person has to truly want to stop and never drink a drop again for life. My friend went through what you have described with her mum. Her Mum died aged 62 of alcohol related illness.

It sounds like you have done as much as is humanely possible to help her. Please don;t feel guilty for moving out. You had to do that for your own sanity and safety.

It sounds like she is not interested in rehab program. All you can do is seek support from rest of your family and show your mother you still care. (as you have been doing already!)

Answer 2

Im sorry for your situation. My mum is an alcoholic. Not in the same way as yours, but all the same it has affected my family badly. My mum goes out to work everyday, but as soon as she finishes she locks herself in her bedroom and gets out of her head on vodka/gin etc.

We dont know what to do, you cant help someone who doesnt think they have a problem. You need to shock her into it when she is sober, make her feel embarrased about it, ANYTHING, as long as she realises what she is doing to you all.

I hope you get through to her, and i hope we get through to mine. Hey im here to chat if u want anytime - [e-mail].

Good luck

Answer 3

get  some  help

Answer 4

Sorry to hear about this. Well you need to try and advise her to see a professional on how to help her. Or if she won't listen to her try and get a close mate or another family member to talk to her. Sorry I can't be of much help.  

Answer 5

I was in the same situation with my Dad, and im sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but there really is not anything you can do. Your mum has got to want to help herself. It's heartbreaking to watch somebody you love do this to themselves. Their must have been somthing happen in your mums life that made her turn to drink, and untill she deals with that then there is not much chance of her getting better. I got to the point with my dad where i couldn't bear to watch him do that to himself. So I stopped answeing the phone calls, going round and even stopped him seeing my son (i don't believe its in the childs best interest to see a loved one in that state.). Eventually, after one very lonely christmas, he realised what meant more to him, his family or the bottle and tried to go cold turkey on his own and was very ill. I got him admitted to hospital and he sorted himself out. So there can be light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunatley there is nowhere for relatives of alcoholics to go for advice. I rang his gp and explained what was going on and he went round to the house to see if he could help. My dad was not receptive to this but maybe your mum would be. Please feel free to email me if you want any advice, or just somebody to talk to about this. I know how alone it makes you feel, im 22 and an only child so had to deal with this on my own. But always remember that you are not alone and that there are more people out there who have been through this too. In all honesty though. I really don't think it is appropriate for your little sister to have contact with your mum. She is at a very impressionable age and must be extemley confused and upset. She is not really old enough to have to deal with these kind of things and she should't be seeing your mum in the state she is in. You have to put her best intrests first, even though at the moment you probably feel that your mum needs all the attention. Alcoholism is a psycological illness. but it affects the people around the alcoholic too, not just the person who is diong the drinking.

Hope this helps

x*x

Answer 6

This is a very sad question but sadly all to common. Alcoholism is an illness and the nature of this illness is.. The drink is more important than anything else in the persons life so that's where the selfisness comes into it...I think the answer from Learner covers it all. You can't help the alcoholic they can only help themself..all you can do is , take care of you , don't get involved with her drinking in any way.. do not enable her at all...you stay away and hopefully one day she will see the light

Answer 7

Hi,you are in a terrible situation.The only way to help your mam is by tough love.Leave her to get on with it.I hope for you & the rest of your family your mam realises she is an alcoholic then she will go & get help.Hope this is soon.

Good Luck