My Moms friend tried to set me up, do u think it was out of line?

Question

Firstly im 26, have no problem getting a date. My Moms friend is 70, i know shes old, probably lonely but i never met her in my life or even spoke to her on the phone. Anyway my Mom tells me her friend just called her and wants to know if i can meet this guy she thinks is good for me?

She said she met him in a restaurant and hes Armenian born there and a nice guy.. I was just schoked by this, first of all I was born in the US so were my parents and grandparents, i have nothing to do with Armenian culture or people, im just american though my ethnicity is armenian, the armenian people i have met from the country never like me anc consider me not even armenian because im too american and dont speak their language.

I told my Mom its kind of bizarre and i hate being set up so no thanks.

I know her friend is an old lady who probably has no life but i felt it was rude, my mom thought it was weird but doesnt have the guts to tell her, Her friend is Jewish btw,

Now my Mom says shes meeting her friend for lunch and invited me to meet her, i said i was busy, i just feel if i meet her friend she will try to get nosey or interfere with my life even more..

What do u think about this?

Answer 1

What's the harm in meeting him? Maybe you'll get a free meal.

Answer 2

It's probably your mother's fault because she more than likely has spoken to this woman about you being single and "concerned" for your future so the lady is trying to help your mother.

Maybe you should meet this guy...you never know.  Just because the lady never met you only means she doesn't know if the guy would be good for you, not that the guy isn't nice.  Stranger things have happened.  Meet him with your mother and her friend...it might be fun and if it isn't then you can tell all of your friends about your mother and her nutty friend...at least it will make a good story.

Answer 3

At 26 you're old enough to know there are times we must just smile and nod our head. This is one of those. Don't blame this woman, don't be angry with her, don't give it so much thought.

In her defense, she's 70 and to a 70 yr old being 26 and unmarried is considered 'old'. She's simply trying to be helpful towards her friends daughter whom she's heard so many wonderful things about but she hasn't been lucky in love, so she decided that since she met such a nice young man who was also unlucky in love thus far, it would be nice if the two of you met.

Chalk it up to age, chalk it up to senility, chalk it up to her own cultural upbringing and standards. Don't hold it against her.  

Answer 4

I have to agree that it was kind of odd for this woman to try to set up someone she doesn't know. I wonder if she's just very lonely and likes the idea of young people being together and being happy while they have the youth and energy she no longer enjoys. My advice: go to lunch with her if you want to, if she tries to be pushy about it, be respectful and explain that in the interests of your own safety you aren't in the habit of meeting strange men for dates. Especially men who have nothing further to recommend them other than that they agree to meet the friends daughters of elderly women they meet in restaurants. You could also excuse yourself from her request by saying that you are focused on your career (or education) right now and feel that dating can come later when your personal/professional goals have been achieved. Most important, remember that she's just a lonely elderly person trying to generate some happiness in the world.

Answer 5

If I were you, I'd feel the same way. I've had friends try to set me up with guys I've met only once and didn't even like all that much.

Tell your mother you are very sorry but you only want to meet guys on your own terms. Either tell your mother to give her the message, or tell this older women yourself. It's not rude OR disrespectful to decline a date with a guy who you've never met, or seen for that matter.

When you finish explaining this end it with " I'm very sorry, but thankyou anyway."

You could also put in a bit of a lie and either say you're interested in someone else, or you just broke up and don't feel that you can handle all the emotions at once.

Good luck!

Answer 6

I'm sure she was just trying to be nice.  She's old, and probably old fashioned, so when your mom mentioned you in conversation (an unmarried 26 year old woman) the lady probably figured you needed to be matched up.  Because, according to her thinking, an unmarried 26 year old needs to get married quick.  However, just because her intentions were good, doesn't mean you have to follow through with her evil plot :P Just ask your mom to politely inform the woman that you're not looking to be matched up.