My Poetry.....What do you think???

Question

I just wrote this poem when i was outside.

It's called:

A Day in May

The wind whispers in my ears

As the clouds start weeping tears.

The sun leaves to shy away.

So the thunder and lightning come out to play.

I sit contently on my chair

So calm without a care.

The angry ice begins to hit the ground.

The thunder roars a frightful sound.

Ponds and lakes swell up with sorrow.

They’ll feel better by tomorrow.

I listen closely to the storm all day.

To hear what nature has to say.

Near the end, skies will clear.

And soon then I cannot hear

What do you guys think?

Thanks for any replies.

Answer 1

very good

Answer 2

I love it. Bloody brilliant! So evocative and the imagery? Wow! Wonderful work...thank you for sharing!

Answer 3

Don't you love it when the words just flow out of you? I liked it.

Answer 4

saweet -want more, gj

Answer 5

I don't like the last line, just not as visual as the rest of them. I love that the lakes swell with sorrow, its just great. Stay Strong.

Answer 6

go make money using poetry go to www.triond.com

Answer 7

I felt an overwhelming feeling of depression but then, the positive phrases started to outweigh the negatives ones like,

Ponds and lakes swell up with sorrow. They'll feel better by tomorrow.  I really like those phrases.  The words are from your heart and that is where you will learn and be the most expressive. Keep writing.

Answer 8

ooo pretty...there is something graceful about your writing style. I enjoyed it. However, consider rephrasing the last line...perhaps 'soon I will not hear'...and add in a word or two before the word 'hear'. That line is missing something. and think of even switching the last two lines, take the ending line and place it above the second last line.

Great poem!