My Son Pushed Over on Second Day At School?

Question

He took it in his stride but if this keeps happening what do I do? The child who did the pushing is not specifically a bad kid, but he seems to be jealous of my son and a little bit in his own world etc. He's a year older than my son but in the same class as they share P1 and P2 at the school.

Advice please. What if it happens again? The mother of pushing child said it was just a bit of rough and tumble. Hmnn.

Answer 1

isn't this something that the school needs to take care of???  

Answer 2

So goes life. He does not need to be told much.  It is not a big deal. It is age appropriate behavior and I am sure it will stop

Answer 3

I think that there's a big difference between "rough and tumble" and bullying.  Boys do get very rough and tumble, but that should be a two way street.  It's something that happens when they're wrestling or goofing around.  This sounds like something different to me.

The first thing I would do is check with your son's school to see what their policies on bullying are.  A lot of schools will not permit any type of physical action in defense of a bully.  If the behavior continues on the part of the bully your son may not be permitted to do anything more physically than to put his hands up to cover his face (should it escalate into hitting).

The next thing I would do is sit down with your son to talk details.  Were they goofing around and things just got a little out of hand?  Was this unprovoked?  Is it something that has happened more than once?  I have a friend that is a teacher & she has told me that if a child confronts a bully by standing strong for himself (by acting with confidence and telling the bully loudly to back off) that the bullying will often discontinue.

I wish you luck.  I've really struggled with how to handle bullying with my boys (7 and 5).  My husband and I are still working out the details, but we're getting there.

Answer 4

It depends on the circumstances.  If they were playing around, it probably was a bit of rough and tumble.  If this kid pushed your child w/out being provoked he's bullying your child.  A lot of people wouldn't agree with me on this, but what I've told my children is it's never okay to take the first swing but if someone puts their hands on you in a threatening way (pushing, hitting, etc.) then hit them back.  I tell them no words are worth fighting over, let them bounce off of you but defend themselves against physical attacks.  It's worked for my kids.  More often than not when a child is being bullied telling on the bully or getting parents involved doesn't work and most times makes it worse. My children know if they hit to be hitting or start a fight themselves, they're in BIG trouble, but if they are defending themselves their dad and me are going to stick up for them and let the school and other child's parents know they were doing what we've taught them to do.  As you can see the other mother in your scenerio didn't even apologize or ask you what your child's side of the story was.  She just assumed her son did no wrong and probably isn't going to punish him or even explain to him why his behavior was wrong.  Good Luck!

Answer 5

My son (age 6) was being roughed up at soccer by a bully. I told him the next time that kid came near him I wanted him to look him in the eye, point his finger in his face and yell at the top of his lungs so everyone could hear "KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME!" We practiced at home a few times and when soccer came and his bully started in on him he reacted. It was AWESOME! The kid had the most horrified look on his face and my son never once got physical with him. Maybe give that a try. Face the attacker. Most bullies don't like to be confronted.

Answer 6

I bet your school has a no bully rule. I would talk to the teacher.

Answer 7

He's at school now so you've got to expect a bit of rough and tumble, especially with boys.  He's got to learn to stand up for himself.  If it keeps happening though, I'd have a word with the teacher.