My Twins are being separated in school this year...?

Question

My 6 year old twin girls are being separated for the first time in school this year, to different classrooms. The principal thought this year would be a good time to do it, for their benefit. These two NEVER do anything without the other, they seem to be glued together at the hip. It's hard for me to explain here, they are just compatible. Last year in school they did well in the same class, the teacher did separate them for projects, but as long as they could actually see each other they were fine. Both girls had many friends ones they shared, and their own individual ones. I'm am afraid this year they will be so worried about the other one they won't focus on their school work and learning properly. Is this making any sense, or am I just being a Mom and needlessly worrying about something I shouldn't? I know I need to let them individualize and do their own thing, but right now they don't seem to WANT to...I've tried. After telling my girls they had different teachers, we went through 30 minutes of crying, then they just decided not to talk about it anymore. Is there any way I can help make this transaction easier for all of us, even though it's breaking my heart?

Answer 1

they will have to be seperated eventually. its either sooner or later. your girls will be fine. they will both make friends, and they most likely see each other at recess and lunch. i think you are worrying about something that you dont have to worry about. the girls will get used to it and everything will be fine.  

Answer 2

my girlfriends twin girls were separated from the start. They are 7, and were the same way yours are, but they were ok with being in separate classes. They learn more to be individuals, rather than rely on each other. it will be good for them to be separated.

They might not want to know, but they will be ok. Some of their friends will be in each of their classes, so they will be ok. They will rely on the friends like they did each other.

Besides, if they can't work it out, you could request one moves to the others class.

They will be ok though.

Answer 3

Nope there is no easy way, life isn't fair and it is time they were separated for a change.  They need to learn how to cope on their own rather than as a unit of two.  They are two separate individuals not two halves of a whole and they are going to have to learn to live their lives as individuals.  There is no guarantee they would be able to go through their entire lives together, employers aren't going to be wanting to have to hire one in order to get the other one.  That only happens in Hollywood and even MaryKate and Ashley don't have the same friends, the only time they are together are for publicity shots.  

Answer 4

well you should see how the first couple weeks are and if they aren't doing well they should be put in the same class. i know it's hard for you and them but you have to remember they will have to go there separate ways sooner or later. good luck!

Answer 5

I am a first grade teacher, and I know that you must have extreme difficulty at seeing your children feel nervous and scared to be separated from each other.  However, they are not too young...I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how well they will adjust.  Many times parents have more difficulty with change than children.  They bounce back a lot quicker and will be fine.  Instead of sitting them down and talking to them in a "sad" manner....keep it upbeat and celebrate it!  Tell them that they will have to tell what they did in class each day at supper, so the other child knows...and if it is really cool, then maybe they can do it together at home.  Let the other one be the "teacher"...maybe ask the teachers to give some easy experiments or book titles, etc.  Good luck...and believe me...they will adjust just fine!  Just keep it fun and positive! It may be hard at first but it will get better.  

Answer 6

I would seperate them and see how they do the first couple of weeks. I would hope they atleast get to see each other at lunch or in the hall. If it doesn't work out, and it effects their school work and behavior, I would put them back together. They must be in 1st grade? That's my guess. Well best of luck to you.

Maybe share these pros with them

They can tell each other about their day

They can talk about different teachers and friends

They will both have more stories of their own to share with mommy

They will bring home different art projects and crafts and be able to show the other what they did

Answer 7

I believe mother knows best. If they're that distraught over being seperated and there's no real reason for it being necessary, then i would insist that they remain together. They are already individuals, they don't need to be seperated to confirm it. I just don't see why anyone would feel they NEED to be seperated. They're twins, they have a unique connection with one another, when they're ready to go more seperate ways, then they will. I dont think it should be forced upon them for no reason. If you were to insist upon this with the principal then they should keep them together. I don't think they have the right to seperate them without your permission. Their are different schools of thought on this, could be worth looking into.

Answer 8

i wouldn't worry too much.

in time the point would come when they need to be separate.

if they're really upset not seeing each other in school, they will appreciate the time they get at home to be with each other.

Answer 9

thinks it could be a good thing if you let it/    i have irish twins two sets and time away from each other was really good for them irish twins being kids born within 12 months of each other

Answer 10

They'll play on your attitude, so if you act like this is an awesome thing, they'll see it as an awesome thing. If you act worried and apprehensive, they'll pick up on that anxiety and get freaked.

They might be a little freaked the first couple of days, but they'll adjust just like everyone else. Kids are much more resilient than we give them credit for.

Answer 11

They probably sense that it is bothering you. You should make it seem like a great thing to them rather as if someone died.

I have twins who have been in separate classes since Kindergarten and it's the best thing we ever did for many reasons. They are now 13 and in middle school. Your kids will adjust as well as you do. Why would you treat them any different than any other two sibblings? Just because they are the same age doesn't mean they need to be with eachother constantly. They are nervous because it's something new. They don't realize that it could be a good thing. That's your job, to make them realize it will be good for them and they might enjoy having their own teachers.  

Answer 12

I have to agree with the principal, it will be a good thing.  Could they still eat lunch together?  Will they have recess together?

Answer 13

It really is a great thing for your twins to separate classes and work toward individualization.  They will still most likely see each other during recess, but the rest of the day they will have time to develop new friendships.

Don't minimize your feelings.  You're not "just being a mom."  You're distressed because your kids are.  The important thing is to try to focus on all of the benefits of your kids developing their own separate social and academic lives.

The more positive you feel about it, the less distressed your kids will feel. They will always look to you to check their own feelings.  After the first few days, your kids will most likely both love their classrooms.  So it's just a matter of helping them through the first few days.

Answer 14

I am so glad I live in Australia. Here we get to choose what is the best for the kids. The parent has the final say. I kept mine together for the first 2 years then thought we would try separating them. They loved it. It is harder for me ("my teacher says do the home wok this way" etc..)

But mine are boy/girl so it is different to same s*x. 6 is very young to separate. I think twins should be separated at some point but not till the are emotionally and mentally ready. I would do some research (David Hay is the best person on this topic so start with his name in Google) and approach the school with facts.

Did it for you to make sure I spealt his name right lol

Answer 15

They're going to have to be seperated sooner or later, so it may as well be now. It'll be good for them to learn to do things without their sister.