My Uncle Walked Out On My Reception??

Question

I asked my uncle to call a DJ we know for my wedding. My uncle jumped in and voulenteered to DJ at my wedding. It was July 12th. My fiance and i asked him to play a little of everything and he was cool with that.

My Unlce is NOT a pro DJ but got equipment to do the job. Got it at the last minute but got it. His computer broke so he couldn't burn cd's... he waited until the 11th to come to my house and do it.

The day of the wedding he showed up in a printed t shirt and jeans with a skull rinestone covered belt buckle =( He played RAP most of the time and blasted the music through out dinner. We repeatedly asked him to turn it down. I even went and did it myself. Family members asked him to play other music and eventually he got angry and left. No goodbye... just walked out. He told my mom he felt like he got kicked out. He didn't listen to what we wanted at all.

How do i handle this???

Answer 1

He's family so you need to forgive and talk to him.  If you had let him know what kind of music you wanted he should have respected that and it was very rude of him to walk out on you on your wedding day.  That day was about you, not him.  Let this be a lesson that unless pr oven to be good and experienced, never take a relative over a pro.

Answer 2

You don't....the wedding has come & gone and you can't take the situation 'back' or have a do-over....

First mistake....letting your uncle DJ...yeh, I know hindsight sucks and you had no way of knowing what he would pull....so now the warning is out...no one in this family should let Uncle be the DJ....

Second....he was beyond wrong to ignore your wedding dress code & to ignore the miusic requests-it was no a venue for him to play what he wanted...as a professional DJ

honors what the bridal couple wants, so should he have..including turning down the volume.....

Since his complaint was to your mother, the response should be hers....to point out to him he totally ignored what the bride & groom requested as far as music and if anyone 'threw him out', it was his arrogance at playing only what he wanted at some one else's wedding........

So point this out if Mom didn't...but only if he complains to you...other than that, drop it and don't have him DJ at anything you have again...good luck.

Answer 3

If this is your mother's brother, perhaps you could recruit her to handle it. She can talk him down from his anger by saying there must have been some misunderstandings on both sides about what was expected, and that she hopes everyone can forgive and forget. Then you send him a note thanking him for participating in your special day.

It already happened, so there's no point talking about the dangers of hiring relatives. Just be as gracious as possible to repair the relationship. You have to be the bigger person because obviously he isn't going to.

Answer 4

How well do you know your uncle?  Did your mom not tell you that he was mentally ill?  Or just totally wierd and crazy?  Don't tell me that this uncle has been in the family for so many years, and no one ever noticed that he does not play with a full deck?  that he has a knife missing from the cutlery rack?  that he is playing chess with a few pawns missing, and without the queen nor bishop?  Just don't ask him to participate in any more of your events.  in fact, don't even invite him.  He needs psychiatric help.

Answer 5

You need to go to your uncle and explain to him that in fact he was not kicked out of your wedding reception, but that you, your groom and all of your guests were unhappy with his song selections. If he is still upset, at least he knows where you stand.

If you ever need to give this same advise to another bride, I'd tell her to hire a DJ

Answer 6

If I were you,  I would write him a note or send him an email explaing how he ruined such a wonderful day of joy and dancing with his selfish pick and how upset you are.

Answer 7

Handle this? What is there to handle?  You hired a non-professional to do a professional job.  The guy couldn't even get a clue despite insistent comments DURING the event!  I can only say that you don't ever suggest your uncle be hired for again and that he just be a guest.

My suggestion is to talk to your uncle. Tell him that you are sorry that you weren't on the same page as to what your expectations were and apologize for the misunderstanding.  If he hasn't figured out by now what was wrong between his dress and what he was playing, he's too stupid to figure it out, so berating him is pretty much worthless anyway.  Just never let another family member hire him.

I know it's too late for your wedding, but for others, always make sure that the family member or friend who volunteers to do something is (a) reliable and (b) has actually done this thing before and you've seen or heard about their work. Unlike bad pictures or a screwed up cake, a bad dj actually interferes with festivities. Lots of folks are just loading an MP3 player and playing that.

Answer 8

This is why you should not ask family members to do you favors - it becomes more trouble than it is worth.  You must have know how your uncle was before you asked him to do this job.  He sounds like a procrastinator and a free spirit - someone you can not always count on to when the chips are down.  I am not saying he is not a good person, but people are who they are and do not change just because it is your wedding - for instance he did not bother to dress up for your wedding, I am  sure he does not dress up for any other occasion either.  I would just forgive him for the whole day and chalk it up to experience.  I would just tell your uncle you appreciated what he had done and you are sorry he felt like you did not want him there, but the truth is you have different tastes in music and maybe you both should have sat down before the wedding and come up with a play list.

Answer 9

I guess he got offended because he was providing a service for you (I'm guessing free of charge) or perhaps as a gift to you and you didn't like it...anyone would feel hurt.

Anyway, when you do not hire a professional, you encounter several problems. If he is an amateur, you wil get amateur services.  I guess that you cannor demand much when someone is doing you a favor, and that's why I always hire people as oposed to taking of the many offers of people that are trying to help. I'm sorry about the situation.

I would send him a thank you card and thank him for his services. Tell him how grateful you are because he came through as promised and that you are sorry  that things got misunderstood.

Good luck

Answer 10

tell him that it was really important to you and your sorry if you made him feel bad

Answer 11

Your uncle was obviously working from his own agenda, fulfilling his "hot DJ in a club" fantasies at the expense of your wedding. He's probably having a mid-life crisis of epic proportions. He owes you a sincere apology, but whether you get it or not is up in the air. He wasn't kicked out, and deep down he knows it.

It'll take him a while to realize his mistake, if he ever does. Be patient, like dealing with a teenager having a tantrum. Let you mom talk to him. It's her brother, she'll know how to deal with him. Worst case scenario, you my have to resort to bursting into tears in front of him. Just stay off of "You Ruined Our Wedding"-themed talk shows!

Answer 12

in my opinion he ruined your big day he knew that it was the most important day of your life and he turned up in jeans and tshirt? ask his mom to have a word with him for you or go straight to him and demand he tell you why he acted so strange your never going to get your day back but at least you have found your soulmate hope it goes ok for you

Answer 13

Too late now for you, but for all others yet to have the big day, family can never replace a paid professional at such a crucial event. There are no re-takes. Skimping on such things leads to unpleasantness.

Answer 14

you engaged a guy who threw together music for your once in a lifetime occasion and then left when people complained and in effect ruined  your event forever.  imagine what it might have been if you had been just a wee bit smarter and had done your homework and paid a true, reputable  professional to do this critical job.  

i could see this disaster  coming by the third sentence of your story.  thanks for sharing it.

what should you do?  you have only yourself to blame for this one.