My abusive husband works for organization that caters to battered women-how do i get a restraining order?

Question

He has sociopathic tendencies, pathological lier, no feelings, ect. and I am worried since he is also very charming.

Answer 1

What good wil a restraining order do?

It will keep him away from you.  Regardless of who he works for, he is still liable under all laws.  You need to contact a lawyer or legal aid service for help. First, you need a legal separation rom him.  You will have to move out of your home.  Next, file the restraining order to prevent him fro entering you new home, or bothering you in any way.  Sometimes a "paralegal" can do this work for much less cost.

Or were you intending to somehow have hime restrained from working in teh shelter?  That is none of your legal business.  They can hire who they want, and he can work where he wants.  YOU can do nothing about this.

HOWEVER,

if you move out and file a restraining orde against him, if he violates it he can be arrested, and possibly charged with domestic abuse.. This might not settle so good with his employer, who might then fire him.

Answer 2

Talk with an attorney and along with filing for divorce , file for a restraining order .

I say file for divorce because it's obvious that that is what your intentions are .  Other wise filing for a restraining order would make no sense if you are planning on staying with him .

If you have proof of his abuse I would also contact some one at the shelter for battered women and inform them of the abuse that he is inflicting on on you , his wife .

As far as I am concerned I don't think he needs to be around women that has been battered .

These women are vulnerable and that would just make them easy targets for him .

Good luck

Answer 3

Sounds like Ted Bundy.  I think you have to worry about yourself first and foremost.  Talk to a lawyer and start proceedings to get a restraining order and a divorce.  Then let someone at the shelter know about him.  I'm sure they won't keep him on staff long.

Answer 4

A huge percentage of abusers have borderline or narcissistic or antisocial personality disorders, and those who have to deal with them routinely are very familiar with how charming they are.  That includes those within the legal system.

I guess it comes down to the evidence. Not that their charm doesn't sway judges at times, but if there's evidence warranting a restraining order, you shouldn't have problems getting one.

I would, as others posted, think about safety, though. Have a look, if you like, at the safety plan at bpd411.org/safeplan.html

Answer 5

the first answer made me laugh because i was just thinking "who am i to judge where a sociopath works...ted bundy worked at a suicide hotline in his spare time between murders!!"

Answer 6

Get a good lawyer.  Document everything.  Be calm, reasonable and logical every time you have to deal with police, etc. because he will try to flip it so you look like the one with a problem, not him. Move to a place where he can't find you.  Good luck.