My adopted son's maternal grandmother is threatening the adoption. Is there anything she can do?

Question

I live in Texas. My son is 6 months old. We have not formally adopted him yet but will in 1 month. I have an open adoption with my son's birthmother. We have a very good relationship.

My adopted son's maternal grandmother is a not a good person. She is convicted felon, has 3 kids who were taken away by CPS (including my son's birthmother) and still has 1 child in the foster care system. For some reason, she dead set on getting my son back though. She can't get her own son out of CPS but she wants my son. She threatens my son's birthmother all the time and has gone so far as to contact a lawyer. The lawyer tried to find out if his birthmother had been coerced.

Obviously there was no coercion. Do we have anything to worry about? I really need reassurance.

My son's birthmother let the adoption agency know what is going on and told them she is very happy with where her son is. I'm just concerned because she still seeks approval from her mom and can be easily influenced.

Answer 1

Stop worrying...there are way too many cards stacked against her. I would however keep the birth mother on your side....the maternal grandmother is likely to try swaying her daughter to take the baby back if she is that obsessed.

Answer 2

TALK TO YOUR LAWYER

Answer 3

if the laws are the same in Texas as they are here the grandmother cant do a thing about the adoption as long as the mother has sanctioned it. especially since the mother has a very long and well known history with cps. you have  nothing to worry about and congrats on your bundle of joy :)

Answer 4

I guess I would worry about the bio mother being easily infulienced. I hope she ins't though. I don't think the grandmother will have much influence on anything.

Answer 5

God love you.

How sad you have to go through this. Best wishes and congratulations all at one time.

I can't see how she can be a threat; an annoyance, sure...

Do you think she wants money?

You might consider that she possibly is rocking the boat in an effort to either extort you, or perhaps wants the child for some sort of personal, financial gain?

Is that too much of a conspiracy idea?

Answer 6

If you don't have a lawyer of your own, separate from the agency, HIRE ONE.

I doubt that grandmother has any standing, however, if it comes to a court battle, you might not either.

GET YOUR OWN LAWYER, one who specializes in  this kind of law.

Hire one for your son's birthmother as well.  Everyone is going to need representation.  

good luck!

Answer 7

first of all if the grandmother persists on the harassment...i would retain a restraining order. Second...it is soley the mother's choice to give this child up and no one can stop that except her. As soon as the mother signs the first paper she has given up her rights and there is nothing she can do. But I would recomend that you continue to have the open adoption. (for the birthmother's sake) It can be devistating to have to give a child up.

Answer 8

He is not your son.  The adoption has not been finalized.

Ultimately though, it is the mother's and father's decision but I could see a grandmother getting involved if the mother is a minor; but, providing there has been no unethical goings-on or coercion involved, how could the child's grandmother do anything?

Good luck

Answer 9

The first answer is absolutely correct. On top of that, I would like to add... She is a convicted felon! That would automatically disqualify her from adopting a child.

You have nothing to worry about. Good luck, and congrats on your son :)

Answer 10

As long as the birth mother's parental rights have been terminated, there is nothing she can do to block the adoption from being finalized, let alone the birth grandmother.  As long as the birth mother is at least 18 which you said she is, then the birth grandmother has no legal rights to the child, no matter what her history is.  As long as the birth mother has relinquished her rights, which I am assuming she did when the child was placed with you in the first place and the agency doesn't see a problem, then you should be fine.  Hang in there for one more month!  Doesn't the whole adoption process just feel like a roller-coaster sometimes?

Answer 11

The grandmother really has no say in this situation. Once the birthmother has relinquished her rights as the child's parent there is no way to get her rights back. Since the adoption isn't finalized, the adoption agency has technical legal custody is my understanding (I am a birthmother and this was one of my worry points, what happens if for some reason the adopting parents are found unfit?) until it is finalized. James L. Gritter's The Spirit of Open Adoption is an excellent source for support, suggestions on how to handle such situations and others that arise as your child grows.

Answer 12

hold on, something don't sound right. if the maternal grandmother has a shady back ground then the courts will find it out. all they have to do is dig. that's why we have social security numbers. and if she is such a criminal how can she afford a lawyer? somethings not right here. if the maternal grandmother is found fit, LET HER HAVE HER GRAND BABY. YOU ARE WRONG FOR WANTING TO KEEP THE CHILD AWAY FROM BLOOD FAMILY. IF YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY THEN GOD IS TELLING YOU SOMETHING.

Answer 13

I'm pretty sure there have been cases where the biological mom came back later and changed her mind and the baby was given back to her by the courts. I would THINK that the courts would have enough sense not to return the baby to the grandmother, but if she manages to push her daughter into fighting for it I don't know... especially if she gets proceedings started before your adoption is final My advice to you is to talk to you lawyer about all of this and document EVERYTHING  - every phone call, every threat, every discussion with both the biological mother and the grandmother. Best of luck, hon.

Answer 14

i live in texas also. i do believe there is nothing she can do but i think a lawyer is theb est bet for sure.

Answer 15

If the laws in Texas are anyway similar to Florida, the maternal grandmother has no say in the adoption. It is only up to the birth parents. Once they (birth parents) have signed over their parental rights, that's it. She has no case considering her history. If the lawyers for both yourself and the birth mother have said that there is nothing the grandmother can do, I wouldn't worry about it.

Answer 16

She sounds like the type of woman who just needs to go away, disappear! I dont think she really has much to stand on, but praying for the birthmother, that she does not change her mind!

Answer 17

It sounds like empty threats. I think she's got the odds stacked against her if she wants your son, especially since his birth mother is not protesting the adoption by you. I think you should be fine but you may want to get the opionion of a lawyer in case something should happen. Since you have agreed to adopt the child verbally with the mother, in Texas that is enough! Good luck.