My almost 10 yr old cries every night to sleep in my bed with me ..i put her to bed in her bed and stay till?

Question

she falls an sleep ...but night after night she fights hits yells blue bloody murder ....no one hurts her ..only she hurts us ..last night from 8:30 to 11pm she went on a crying fit

Answer 1

From what you tell me, I would say your kid acts like that at night because she isn't getting her way, and she is seeking attention.  Staying in the bedroom with her is only fueling the fire.  Warn her that bed time is coming in 30 minutes, and that at bedtime she will go to bed, stay in her own bed and stay there.  You put her to bed, then leave.  If she gets up once, you hug her and put her back to bed.  If she gets up again, you sternly tell her it is bedtime and take her back to bed.  Any subsequent times, you say nothing and take her firmly back to bed (kicking and screaming if necessary).  Don't talk to her, don't engage her in any way.  It may take a while, but with consistency she'll stop acting up at bedtime.  You can also reward good bedtime behavior in the morning with a sticker, and after 10 or 15 stickers she gets a special treat...but don't use rewards IN PLACE of discipline...use them as supplements.

Answer 2

Sounds like somethings wrong.  She's scared and angry about something.  Talk to her, not at bedtime about her life and try to find out what is bothering her.

Maybe talk to the school counselor too.

Answer 3

Do you know why she is crying?  Maybe night terrors.  Take her to the doctors.

Answer 4

maybe this is an emotional problem. if this has been going on for a couple weeks this might have to do with her grades, or friends, or teasing in school. if so, talk to the teacher and if there is a more severe problem call the principal or school guidance counselor. they might be able to take care of whatever is bothering her.

          maybe this is a physical problem. if this has been persisting for a long time now she might be wetting bed without you even knowing. does she do her own wash? maybe she washes it out without telling you because she might be afraid of you yelling at her or embarrassed to go to the doctor. if so, talk to her about how there might be a sort of medecine that could help her stop bed wetting or a treatment and that the doctor can help suggest things to do.

          maybe this is a phsycological problem. if this has been going on for a short amount of time/ extending period of time she might be afraid of the dark. she might be scared to sleep in darkness in case of an emergency she wont be able to see anything or defend herself on short notice. she could also be having nightmares. maybe shes seen a scary movie or a major event (that she is not agreeing of or happy with) that has recently happened in her life or something that has been bothering her. if so, ask her what is wrong and surely you will be able to work it out together to make it so she could sleep peacefully again.

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          i hope this information helps you!

Answer 5

I would try the back to bed technique. Put her in her bed and leave the room. Do not stay in the room until she falls asleep, this just feeds into her behavior. She is screaming every night because she has learned that you will give her what she wants, which is staying with her or allowing her to stay up later.

Back to bed Technique

1- When it is time for bed, take her into her room and tuck her into bed. Set up a bed time routine, and stick to it each night. Read a book or two and then tell her it is time for bed.

2-Leave the room. However expect crying, yelling and her getting out of bed. When she gets out of bed just lead her back into her room and tell her it's bedtime. Leave the room again, do not hang around her door or talk to her, just walk away.

3- The next steps are crucial for this to work properly. She is most likely going to get out of bed again. You need to take her by the hand, or pick her up. There is to be no eye contact or talking. Eye contact and conversation is what she is looking for, and you do not want to reward her behavior. Place her back in the bed and immediately walk out again.

Step three may have to be repeated several times. Expect her to try everything to get you to engage with her(everything from, "I'm thirsty", "I'm scared", I need you", etc) You need to stick to your commitment and not engage, not matter what. Since she is used to getting you to give in, she may yell for awhile and keep getting up. You need to show her that you are not going to give in and all the crying is not getting her what she wants.

The first night may take a few hours before she stays in bed, but if you stick to your guns, it will get better. While the first night takes the longest, it will get less and less, until she stays in bed.

Answer 6

has it always been like this or did it just start? that's the answer you need before you decide whether its emotional or behavorial

Answer 7

sounds like me I have night terrors I cant watch much TV or it sets them off,I only watch family shows, I don't eat for 3 hrs before going to sleep, and I have to go to bed and really rest my body for about 1 and a half hrs before going to sleep the more stressed  I am  the worst they get.no sugar no caffeine for 3 hrs really seems to calm me down. mine are set off 2 hrs into my sleep. so you might want to see when she is doing this and have her start sleeping in her bed and set your alarm to be in there when it happens. this is hereditary in my family. and I scare anybody who spends the night. but I have never hurt my self. funny thing is I always act out something from my day I was a preschool teacher and I wock my self up stappeling pics to the wall. not really just standing on the bed going through the motions.A small snack always puts me back to sleep.

Answer 8

Maybe she is getting too much sugar before bedtime.  Or maybe she needs to get more activity in so that she gets tired enough for bedtime.  Usually a bath will help her get sleepy and ready for bed.  Have you tried reading her a bedtime story?  Try to make her feel better about going to sleep at night.  Make her room a nice cheerful place to be.  Sing to her. Something has her frightened of going to sleep in her own room.

Answer 9

Sounds like you have some serious problems.  I would start with getting him/her checked for any medical problems, but also see a child health nurse who can advise on organisations that can help you determine what the problem is - medical, physcological or behavioural.  Good luck, but seek help soon.