My almost 7 year old step daughter is driving my nuts?

Question

my step-daughter lives with us and for the past week she has been getting bad at not listening to me or her father we did the time out,spanking,taking her tv away she does not care what we do or take away,she visits her mom every other weekend and she has no rules there and we tell her everytime she comes back we have diff rules and that dont hel[p any ideas please help

Answer 1

You can't change what happens at her mom's house, so no point in worrying about that.

First of all, remember this has only been going on for a week. Maybe she's catching a cold, or something else is going on at school or at her mom's.

Apart from situational/temporary behaviour, this disobedience may be the age, but a lot of it is probably the situation. She may think she can take advantage of her dual home life to manipulate the adults in her life. Consistency on your part will be the only thing that works.

Have you tried a family contract? It spells out (in simple and brief language) the things you expect of each other (you, your husband, and your stepdaughter), the family 'rules,' and everybody signs it. When a rule is broken, there are consequences - these, too, should be consistent. Find out what IS important to her, and that can be her consequence. Don't spank one time and take away the tv the next - keep it meaningful, specific, and consistent.

Good luck, you've got the hardest job in the world, I think!

Answer 2

my stepson has that problem. except he is 12. and never been spanked. his mother is that same exact way (no rules) execpt he hardly ever sees her. (her choice) he is up for expulsion in a couple weeks. he steals and takes knifes to schools. nothing seems to work. he tells me he hates his mom. and he starts to do better after he talks about her. then she calls. and its back to square one. im at my wits end. dad isnt helpful. he just feels sorry for him. but he doesnt have any heart to heart talks with him. i do.

the only thing i know that works to get my stepson in check, is to kind of ignore him. i wont start a conversation with him, and when he asks a question or something. i keep it short. and when i get his dinner ready and i take his plate to him, he sometimes says thankyou but i wont respond. that works for a while. they can tell youre dissapointed, and it eats them up if you dont ellaborate. honest to god, thats what works for me.

Answer 3

have you guys tried sitting down with her mother as well. your stepdaughter might do better if you guys approach her as a team. even if the two households don't have the same rules you need to let her know you all want what's best for her. do you think she resents having to leave her mother?

Answer 4

all of you set down and sit up some rules that apply at both houses.me and my ex had to this with his ex and her husband that way there was no way the rules were different

Answer 5

talk to her