My always perfect child is turning on me...HELP

Question

He is 9, but he has always been very well behaved. He has great manners, very respectful. No is starting to get lazy and mouthy. Everytime I ask him to do something ( trash, dog p**p, etc) he lets out this huge sigh and acts bratty. I don't want to yell at him and threaten him him with taking things away. Also, every morning, I have to push him to get ready. " did you brush your teeth/hair, get your shoes on, make your bed" How do I get him to be big boy and do some things on his own? I have spoiled him a bit when he was younger, but now that we have another child, and life has gotten busier, I can't do EVERYTHING for him anymore. Any suggestions please

Answer 1

hes jealous let him get involved with the new baby dont forget he has had your undivded attention for 9 years so go easy with him

Answer 2

Just keep doing what you can, kids get like that trust me. that is just what happens when they start to grow up.  Try to stay close with him and try not to get naggy but if he starts to do really bad things then you need to punish him so he knows boundaries.  and try to be a little stern with him so he keeps his respect towards you, but bratty is normal i wouldn't worry unless he turns into a ignorant child. you sound like a nice woman though so I don't think that will happen. and if the two children begin to fight, that is normal too.  Jealousy is normal with older siblings.

Answer 3

i may not know a lotaboutt parenting, but i do know i went through the same thing that your son is going through when i was 9. i was extremely spoiled by my parents and my grandparents. I kind of turned things when i found out i had a new baby sister. It wasn't exactly what i was hoping for. I was happy with just me and only getting things for me. He probably feels as if he need to rebel and the only reason he acts this way is because he wants attention. You can give it to him but not in big amounts to where he'll start thinking he can get you to do anything for him.

Don't bribe him or threaten him because he will just want more or he will have a huge fit. he will of course eventually grow out of it. just give it some time or sit down and have a talk with him and show him you still care. i wish my dad would of done that for me.

Answer 4

welcome to the crazy world of being the parent of a p*****n/teenager.

May the force be with you.

Answer 5

It must be a phase or something, b/c that could describe my 9 year old boy to a T! We don't have another baby (yet), but he's been all sulky and even sneaky! (ie-taking Pokemon cards to day camp when we explicitly told him not to).

With our son we tell him that we don't appreicate his tone and that if he doesn't answer us respectfully, we're taking away things like TV time. I know you don't really want to do that, but sometimes taking away stuff is all that really gets through to them at this point.

Maybe he's also feeling a little jealous of the new baby. Make time to do stuff just the two of you or three of you like you used to.

Answer 6

Sit him down when you have time.  Tell him your expectations, and what the consequences will be if he doesn't do what he's asked.  Start giving him a small allowance (maybe $10/ week).  Show him that with priveldge comes responsibility.  Make sure you also have special time set aside just to spend time with him.

Answer 7

This behavior is pretty normal at his age.  Ignore the sighs and eye rolls and tell him what you expect of him anyway. If he says something rude, though, don't tolerate it.   If he doesn't do his chores, think of a consequence that seems fair to you and that will motivate him to do better next time.  Taking away privileges isn't bad. Threatening to do it without following through when he challenges you isn't going to work though, so whatever consequence you decide on, be prepared to use it.  

He should be able to get himself ready in the morning if he is given reasonable amount of time and if he gets enough sleep.  It may be defiance, but it could also be an organizational issue. Have him choose his clothes and get his school things together in the evening  before he goes to bed.  That worked wonders for me.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Sit him down and have a calm discussion with him.  Don't get angry, but let him know that he is old enough to have certain responsibilities, and let him know exactly what you expect from him.  For the daily things, like brushing teeth and hair, making his bed, and so on, make it clear that he is expected to take care of those things without being reminded.  For the other chores, like taking out the trash, let him know that those are the chores he is responsible for, and that you expect him to do them without complaint when he is asked.

Make him a chart or a chore wheel if necessary.

Answer 9

tell him you are going to send him to military school.it worked for me

Answer 10

hes NINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CMON LADY GIVE THE KID A BREAK

Answer 11

Just wait till he gets into middle school or high school...

I was the that kid you just described, humble and respectful of thier parents.

But every kid starts going through the change. You're just going to have to learn to let the kid have his space, he's growing up and maturing. He's going to learn new stuff and such.

It's just a matter of him growing up.  

Answer 12

Your son is acting pretty typically like who he is right now - a nine year old boy.  That's the image he gets from TV and friends.  However, that's no excuse for him to not listen to you.  It's good that you realize he's getting this way, and if you don't act quickly he'll keep it up until he's a teenager - when it's too late for you to shape him anymore.  I think that threatening to take away certain priveleges is a great way to get your point across - it really hits home.  Say, "The next time that I ask you to do something and you act bratty, you won't be able to use your phone for the rest of the day."  Or whatever applies to him - no TV, no video games, no going out with friends, etc.  And stick to it!  But remember, if you keep doing this for a while (he'll try to test you, but don't give up), and the time comes when he really DOESN'T act bratty, tell him that you're impressed and very proud.  Don't ask him to do something that you would normally.  That way, he'll relate bad behavior with punishments and good behavior with rewards - it'll become instinctive.  Do the same thing in the morning - say "If you don't make your bed in the morning, then you'll have an extra chore for the day".  It may be a little stricter than you or he is used to, but it'll be worth it in the end - when he'll end up a respectful young man.  Don't let him be lazy.  When he turns on the TV, say "Let's go out for a picnic instead."  Or whatever applies to you.  Take your other child along sometimes, but sometimes make time just for the two of you.  Hope this helps, and good luck!

Answer 13

It's that age...Try making him a list of chores and putting it on the frig when he is done he can mark them off.

Put a sticky note in the bathroom on the mirror reminding him he needs to brush his teeth.

Buy a alarm clock and teach him how to set it .If he don't set you do with out him knowing...that will get him up.

If he continues to not do as you ask him,Take away his privaleges,Like the tv,stero and vidio games for a few days.

Answer 14

I am sorry if this makes you a little sad, but you have got to be more strict, and cannot think it's your fault. Have discipline, set up a schedule of when he will do what. But this might be the case of jealousy. He might be jealous that you have another child and feels like you are drawing more attention to the other child. Why don't you spend time with BOTH of the children. That way everyone will be satisfied :)

Answer 15

Sounds same story only difference is replace your son with my 4 year old.. Is she young where I am expecting to do her stuff yourself .. NO !! She is big enough to do her stuffs getting ready in the morning herself.. As you have done everything for him till now this is how you need to start --- Give him instruction to do all things from brushing teeth to wearing shoes. It may seem repeatative but after a week you will see the difference :)

Also when he sighs when asked to do something you need to take into consideration if he is tired or playing... Be sure to ask with love and I am sure he will listen. If he behaves bratty you need to tell him that you will not tolerate his attitute -- you are doing everything around and he should help him...

I hope this helps...  

Answer 16

Don't bother yelling at him but do start to take away priviledges.   He isn't a baby anymore, he can be expected to take some responsibility and he should have consequences if he doesn't.   Mother's who spoil their children aren't doing them any favors and it's likely that he could be acting out because he was being spoiled early on but with another child he's not being spoiled anymore it may be a shock to his system.   Set his alarm in the morning and let him get himself up and ready.  If his hair isn't brushed then let him go to school with unbrushed hair, one time like that will likely be the last time like that.  If you don't want to do everything for him anymore then you need to show him that you aren't going to do everything for him anymore.

That being said, make sure you acknowledge when he does things well, don't just expect it.   Show him that you notice and appreciate when he does things without an attitude and when he gets ready for school without any problems.    

Answer 17

dont spoil your children... they will turn on you.. and take advantage of you once they learn how too:)

Answer 18

beat him.

Answer 19

You don't say how old your other child is?

Answer 20

He's had you all to yourself for nine years. Sharing the attention is probably getting him sad. You should let him help you with the baby or around the house. Compliment him by saying "wow you're such a good older brother" If anything just sit him down and talk to him. He's at the age were he can communicate, let him tell you what's wrong!