My aunt and uncle adopted and now they may lose the baby.?

Question

my aunt and uncle adopted a baby from a single woman and they've had him since birth our whole family loves him we've had him for almost five months and hes such a joy. part of the adoption process is putting an ad in the paper asking if anyone objects the adoption. a man came forward saying hes the father, and that he wants a paternity test and to try for custody. can he really take the baby? please answer if you have information.

Answer 1

To reiterate what others have said, it all depends on your local laws.  They should already have an attorney who, I am sure, will be able to advise them (better than anyone on this message board).

Where I live, the 'waiting' period is 6 months.  So, if hap penned here, he would have every right to ask for a paternity test.  My suggestion is to let him do the test.  If it comes back negative, then no problem.  If it comes back positive, you might be able to negotiate with him so you can keep the child if he has visitation rights.

Answer 2

yes, he really can, if he shows thru DNA that he is the father.

i'm sorry anyone has to lose a child. perhaps this will help you understand the h**l the first mother went thru, except she didn't get all the outrage and emotional support your family will get. she suffers in silence.

Answer 3

Yes, if all the t's weren't crossed and i's weren't dotted he could. Normally the bio father is taken care of and his rights are signed off before an adoption takes place.

Answer 4

If he is the biological father and didn't sign his rights away and didn't know about the child or the adoption then yes he can legally take his child away from your aunt and uncle because they are not the child's biological parents.  The mother has to notify the birth father of the adoption and both biological parents need to sign their rights away otherwise the adoption is not valid.

Answer 5

Dear Oshs,

I'm sorry for what your family is going through now.  I don't doubt that everybody loves & wants that baby.  I will explain what appears is happening from a legal standpoint.  Although you say the baby came from a single woman, she did not create that baby alone.  That baby already has another parent who loves & wants him too.  The father has rights too.  In other words, that baby is not legally available for adoption.  Adoption is for babies/children who do not have parents or relatives, or who have parents who have voluntarily or involuntarily relinquished their parental rights.  This baby does not fit that description.  

Every baby deserves to be with his or her parents unless it would be unsafe for them to do so.  Think about if he grew up and found out he had a father who had really wanted him, yet his adoptive family allowed him to be hurt by separating them.  He has already been separated from his mother.  To the child, adoption is a loss that should never be allowed to occur if it absolutely does not have to.

The whole purpose of advertising in papers is specifically for that reason so in case there is anyone out there who has a first legal right to that child they can come forward.  Assuming that is the child's natural father, then yes, he has a right to raise his child.  If it's not, then your uncle & aunt may be able to proceed with the adoption.  No adoption is final until a judge grants a final decree of adoption in court.  No judge will finalize an adoption until proper notification has been given and no relatives have come forth.

Your uncle & aunt should have been advised of the risks before they began the process.  That's why some babies were once sent to foster homes first until they were legally free for adoption.  Some prospective adoptive parents prefer to only accept children into their homes who are already legally free for adoption because it is very hard for anyone to say good bye to a baby they have been taking care of for 5 months.  However, it's the right thing to do in this case.  If your uncle & aunt try to adopt again, they might want to consider the foster care system because those children are more likely legally available & they are truly in need of homes.  Good luck.

Sorry again for the loss to your family,

julie j

Answer 6

yes he can take take his child back unless he is unfit. courts normally favour the birth parents. I'm afraid that chances are they will loose the baby . especially if nothing was final. good luck and hugs to your family

Answer 7

he might not even be the father. wait for the paternity test to get in, and then if he is the father you can start worrying

Answer 8

Yes fathers have rights!

And being raised by a single father who is loving and able to care for a baby is far, far better than being raised by strangers. Five months is nothing compared to a lifetime.

You should be happy this baby is going to get a chance to live with his real family.

Answer 9

I really do feel for your aunt and uncle and I'm sorry for their undoubtedly high hopes.  On the other hand, perhaps the man in question was never even told that the woman was pregnant. If a DNA test shows him to be the father, and if there's no legal restriction on his gaining custody (other children taken away for neglect, for instance) then it's only fair that he be given a chance to start a family with her.

That is the purpose of the notification process, as heart-wrenching as it seems to you and your family right now.

Good luck to everyone concerned.

Answer 10

I'm not really sure, but I do believe that the biological father must consent to the adoption for it to legally take place.  If he is the biological father, unfortunately he may be able to take the baby.  I know that's a good thing for him, and for the baby to know his bio dad, but I really feel for your family and your little cousin.

Please, please do not listen to the idiots who just posted answers here telling you "they'll get over it".  Regardless of thier opinions on adoption, they have no right to undermine or minimise your loss.

Maybe, if they have issues about being adopted, they should just get over it?

I'll pray for your family, I'm so sorry to hear of their potential loss.

Answer 11

Yes, he can take the baby if he didn't sign the paperwork and DNA tests prove that the child is his.

I know 2 men who got their babies back even after the adoption was finalized because they had never been notified of the pregnancy, much less the birth of the babies.  Those babies have since graduated from high school, so this isn't a recent thing.

Answer 12

Wow, you state that your family loves him and is bonded, owing to the fact he has been with you all for five months. I do not doubt at all that you are very much in love with this child, he has become a part of your family. But he was not born a part of it.

If this man is the biological father of the child then yes he can petition the court for custody. The natural mother was unfair and unfeeling not to inform him prior to signing the adoption papers. He has as much a right to raise his child as the mother had, he also has as much a right to sign over his rights. If he should want to parent and a judge in a court of law finds him fit to do so the child will become legally his.

This is an all too often seen downside to adoption. You have to always remember that there are other people out there who may have a vested interest in the child you bring into your home. Your family will grieve the loss, his adoptive parents will reapply at the agency and in time life will go on.

Answer 13

I pray the father will get the baby.

That's his flesh and blood!

You'll get over it--they won't.

Answer 14

It really depends on the state laws where your aunt and uncle adopted and live.  Some states trample all over the rights of fathers so they may be "lucky" and will get away with not notifying the father.  Shame on them and the mother for not pursuing the issue of the paternity of this poor child before he was handed over.

The more I read about these cases, the more disgusted I get about the adoption system in the US.  The "newspaper ad" ploy must be outlawed.  What a joke.

Answer 15

Yes, he can take the baby if the child is his.  That is why adoptive parents have to go through this process to give both parents the option of giving up the child or keeping the child.  I know it is painful, but it is in the best interest of the child to remain with a natural parent if they are capable of parenting.

Answer 16

If he answered the ad in the time period that he was allowed then yes unfortunately he could get the baby if he is the genetic father.  Of course he might not even be the father, and the courts will look at what is in the best interest of the baby. If this man is unfit then your Aunt and Uncle chances of keeping the baby are greater. If he did not answer the ad in the required time then you might also have something in your favor. I will pray for your  family.

Answer 17

Was the adoption already finalized?

Here they run the ad before the adoption proceedings even begin so that nothing can be over turned.  

I would think that it wouldn't make much sense to run the ad after the finalization.

I suppose that if paternity is proven and the man is the boys father, then yes he can petition to take the baby because by all rights it is his and he wasn't served properly prior to the adoption.

Answer 18

that is a normal process of adoption.  But the adoption is obviously no wheres near fianlizing. They have to terminate both parental rights first before an adoption even takes place.

Answer 19

it all depends on your state laws.  in kansas the biological father has 6 weeks to contest the adoption. the add must run for at least 2 weeks.  but it doesn't matter what paper you put it in.  as long as it's available to the public.  did the biological mother relinquish her parental rights?  and do your aunt and uncle have an attorney?  this is why i'm so stongly opposed to adoption without an attorney for the adoptive parents.  you need someone to do all the legals and know what's going on and how long you have to wait.  if they did i'd suggest calling their attorney.  if this is truely the biological father and he's within your states or the state the infant was born in legal time frame to contest the adoption then i am very sorry to say but he has all legal parental rights to the baby.  if no attorney was contacted before and during the adoption i would call one now that specializes in adoption law and get the legal answer.  again it all depends on the situation and state laws where the baby was born.

Answer 20

There may be a chance of the father getting custdoy of his son. They run an ad in the paper so any one of the boy's realtives can step forward and care for him. This ad is run to protect the adoptive parents and the legality of the adoption. Because if the adoption is finalized and some one comes forward and states they were never told, it could be a long legal court case. I appericate that your family was so open and loving to your nephew. It shows that they are good hearted people. However there is always a risk when it comes to adoption.. and sometimes that risk is having a biological family member step forward for custdoy. I;m sorry this is happening to your family. Hopefully the biological father will let the boy have some contact with your family if the father gets custdoy. I would just wait and see what the court system says, or what the father says. What is most important is what is best for the child. And i know you want that..