My b/f is going into the navy. What should I do?

Question

He has been wanting this and I am supportive of his decision but I am also very scared that he will not want to come home to me. We are not married and even though he tells me he wants to he will not ask me at all. On top of that he has been acting strange towards me lately. My mom tells me it is because he want to cut all ties before he goes in. He leaves in Feb. Any advice on what i should do or how to read him?

Answer 1

First and foremost, its okay to have concerns.  My bf/ of 5 years is in the military and we have survived a deployment to Iraq.  A lot of men think if they join the military or are about to be deployed, their girlfriends and wives will look elsewhere for love instead of sticking with them.  So at times they will distance themselves.  Before he left for Iraq, my BF said he wanted to give me the chance to find someone who could be there for me, he thought that was the right thing.  When someone goes into the military a bunch of things go through their head.

In the "source" section I have listed a site for you.  When you go there and click on "forum" you will find a forum for military girlfriends, fiancees, and wives.  I've been a member there for 5 years now, and the women there are very supportive.  I am Martina on there. :)

Answer 2

Really just wait and see. If he is serious about a relationship then it will work out. He has a lot on his mind right now. He just made a life changing decision and it will be hard! He may also be waiting to see if you can handle being a military significant other. What ever you do is up to you but I really suggest not smothering or pressure him.

Answer 3

Stay on birth control.

Answer 4

Why dont you ask him wats going on with him? Because you will never know unless you ask. If he says he wants to marry you and loves then he will come back to you. And i think i know why (maybe) hes acting like that. If he is acting strange how you say then maybe hes tryin to be strong in front of you so you dnt break down in tears. Maybe he wants to do this to fight for his country and to keep you safe from dangerous things u kno. Just ask him and if he really cares about you he will tell you! It will be ok

Answer 5

tell him to tell you straight up if he wants you to wait for him and support him or if he wants you to just give up.. reading him isnt gonna give u a 100% answer its better if you ask him

Answer 6

i dunno, maybe apply urself and see if you can go with him? course, tht would be dangerous and stupid, but if ya wanna be with him, then do it

Answer 7

Don't just think about him, think about yourself.  What do you want to do?  Where do you want to work?  What do you want to accomplish?  Sometimes even in love it is necessary to put ourselves first and foremost in the relationship.  This way you are making sure that you are happy, for if both of you are happy then the relationship is a success.  

With him joining the military it doesn't mean this is over, he might change his mind or he might not.  He could be pushing you away because he wants you to get on with your life because he is heading down a different path. Or because he is hearing horror stories of getting a Dear John letter.    If this relationship is going to work it will.  Just don't push the issue to much because often that means pushing them farther away and not getting them to come back at all.

Answer 8

just to make you feel better my mom has been to iraq.been back a year, mii dad is in iraq now and i am pretty sure he isnt coming back

but if he is goin to the navy you might not want to marry him...h**l be very strick and all...have to cutr his hair a certain way has to act a certain way...he might not even be home all the time...you work weir hours and the list keeps going on

Answer 9

Depending on your age, and in particular, maturity it may not be in the cards for you.  You both may meet other people or grow apart.  It can be painful in the short run, but I was engaged when I joined the Navy at 19.  We did not get married and believe me, we are great friends who are so glad we never did.  (I was his wedding photographer ;)

If you are truly connected and have a strong chance as a couple then no one he meets out there will compare to you.  

Nothing is certain, but rushing a relationship just to stay together  brings its own problems.  I wish there was an easy answer.  I still remember the pain I felt.  But it's part of growing up.

Answer 10

If you don't absolutely know what's what before he leaves, then plan on getting the Dear Jane letter.  It's just too tough to do it long distance, especially if he is going to be out in the world on his own for the first time.

I know that sucks, but it's the truth.