My b/f wants us to have s*x, I'm not sure I'm ready, but I really love him, need advice, thanx?

Question

Me and my b/f are both 15. Lately he's really been pushing for us to have s*x, but I'm not really ready. I really love him and he treats me so good, I want him to be happy though.

My parents are really religious and have told me that s*x should only be between married people. I'm not sure I 100% agree (although I'd never tell them that!!!) but I just think I want to wait a little bit longer. My b/f's parents have no problem with their kids having s*x and my b/f even said his parents would get us birth control if he asked.

I really love him and he's always treated me like a queen. My family is kind of poor, plus I'm 1 of 7 children, so my parents were never able to take us on vacations or anything like that. My b/f's paretns are really rich however, and they've taken me on all their family vacations since we started dating. I've been to NY City, the Bahamas and other places that I'd never have a chance to see otherwise.

My b/f keeps saying things that seem very persuasive though such as that he loves me and he wants us to share the ultimate expression of our love, and also that if I really loved him, I would want him to feel good. He also says about how good he and his parents have been to me over the past year.

I just can't imagine being naked in front of him. I mean, I'm really skinny and I've worn 2 piece bathing suits in front of him, but the though of us being that intimate just scares me!!

But I know I'm old enough and I know a ton of kids at my school who are my age who are sexually active and I really love my b/f and want to continue having a great relationship with him.

Any advice on what I should do? Thank you all.

Answer 1

I can't stress enough that you should NOT have s*x with him if you do not feel ready to. Just don't do it because I promise you will regret it and you will feel terrible if you do. You need to do it when you feel ready to. I had s*x when I was not ready to and it affected me for a few years because I felt so dirty. I think if I had waited until I felt good about it, then I wouldn't have had such bad feelings.

So talk to him about how you feel, and tell him that someday, you will, but you just need more time! If he really loves you, he will understand. It should not matter that his family has treated you so well. There needs to be an understanding.

Always go with your gut instinct! Good luck.

Answer 2

dont have s*x.  do you think youll be with him in 10 years?  then what will you hve to offer the man youre going to marry?  b/f sounds very immature to try and bribe you with the things theyve done for you, thats not love.  love is patient

Answer 3

I think you've answered  your own question.  

Nobody, and I mean NOBODY should tell you when to have s*x.

Answer 4

He's obviously doesn't love you enough to respect your wanting to wait! and he's guilting you! he's not worth it, no matter what his family does for you! dont be the little kid that gets tricked into a bribe! Think of the things that could go wrong sometimes even if you are being careful c**p happens and you could end up pregnant! its not worth it!

Answer 5

Don't have s*x unless you're ready. Thats for sure.

I'm just about your age, and my ex and I had talked about it to, and I know i'm def. not ready, so just tell your bf that and if he doesnt understand then he doesnt love you for the right reasons.

Answer 6

If your b/f really loves you and isn't just playing you for that one lay, then he'll respect your wishes.  Patience is a virtue.  If he's patient enough, long enough he'll get what he wants, (if he's a player).  If his salmon are just swimming upstream and they don't want to wait and the same holds for you, no amount of advice is going to stop the inevitable.  If you go that route don't just take the bc's, get him to where a condom.  A little extra protection will never hurt.  If his parents are that liberal, ask them if they're willing to help with the expenses if an accident does occur and a little bambino shows up on their door step.  Somebody will have to foot the bills.  You need to be aware also that you both are under age and could be charged with statutory rape whether you consented or not.  All it would take is for the word to get out to the wrong people or your parents to drop a dime on him because they got mad and want justice.  On top of that, his parents could be criminally charged for giving you and him the green light.  Once the state prosecuter, DCF or CPS gets wind of what happened then the games over and mommy and daddy don't get a voice in what happens next.  A whole lot of young people do what you two want to do but very few can even begin to comprehend what will go down is anything goes wrong.  I think your boy friend should very seriously respect your wishes if he really loves you.  

Answer 7

You're old enough? No your not. Your not even fully developed and teenage relationships hardly work out. Guys just want s*x..sure he might love you-but have respect for yourself and wait.

Answer 8

I agree with your parents. If your boyfriend really loves you unconditionally he will not pressure you to do something you are not ready for. If he keeps pressuring you then he is not the right guy for you.  

Answer 9

you already know your answer.....but its weather or not you follow your feelings or your bfs feelings.......choice wisly....

think of it this way......his pressuring you for this now?   what next.....have you told him you are not ready?  and if you have and he is still pressuring you think of it this way.....he is trying to use his parents wealth to get in your pants.....will you let him?

Answer 10

your too young to have s*x but if you dont wanna listen to me if you really say so go right ahead but i had my baby at 16 and now im 21.. so if you want to ruin your life go right ahead.. your just not old enough to have s*x... theres too many concequences involved.. waiting til your 18 but its all your choice..it shows me that your too young and not even mature enough to handle s*x being  that you think you are.. Grow up

Answer 11

You are not ready. If you were, you wouldn't have asked this question. Tell him that since he doesn't respect your wishes, it's over. He is NOT a good boyfriend. He is a pig.

Answer 12

I think that you  should wait. You can't let him talk you into a life altering decision. I wish I would have waited to met that special man to share our first times together but I didn't and got pregnant the first time. Worst off my son's father couldn't give a care about us. Just stay strong in your decision and if he can't respect you then he's not worth it.

Answer 13

Dont do it. Im the ame way. My parents are religous and say the same thing. Dont have s*x untill your married. But i dont 100% agree with that. But it really does make sense because if your marries you will know for sure the other person has your back if something gos wrong.

You love your bf. But your not ready. So waaaiiit till your ready. It will be more enjoyable when you are ready. Something could happen. Yes i know tons of my friends who are involved in sexual activities but alot of them are having problems. Aids/ and pregnacies. Its to much of a risk especially when you are in school. If i were you I would wait. And if you loved him you should definatly wait until your ready.

  hope you do what you feel comfortable doing. good luck

Answer 14

You youngens need to stay away from those Disney shows.

Answer 15

yeah what these peeps said

Answer 16

If he really loves you then he'll respect your wishes and he'll wait for you.  You don't have to have s*x with him just because he buys you things and takes you places.

Answer 17

First things first....He should NOT be using any of those things against you...it DOES NOT matter what he's done for you or his parents or how he treats you...s*x is a big thing and no words should convince you. He should be ashamed for even saying things to convince you. He should be telling you that he'll wait for you because he loves you. My aunt had s*x with a man like that and got pregnant the first time...he hasn't been around for 16 years of her daughters life. BUT your bf is not the same guy...so lets move on....Don't get me wrong, s*x is great...BUT it is SUPER special. It IS a big thing. But a LOT of the times s*x is what tears people apart..doing it or not doing it. This is your independence and if you're not ready then say no. Intamacy is great and dry s*x gives you mad butterflies....but the actually thing is way different and you'll wish you would have waited. I wonder about my wedding night...will the consumation just be like our regular s*x? Nothing special??? Even if you don't want to wait till you get married...wait until it feels SOOO right and you KNOW that you'll look back and smile even if you're not with him down the road. Don't do it on a whim. This is your only independence left and I think you're making the right choice by waiting whether he likes it or not.

Sorry its so long...I get carried away =P

Answer 18

wow, that really is a tough situation, especially because of how well he treats you, but if you are not ready, then i think he should understand. you will have to say no on this one. what if he was only being that nice to you to get in ur pants? i know that its not likely or what you want to hear, but it is  possibility. what it all comes down to is: r u old enough to have a baby? if not, then you are not old enough to have s*x. besides pregnancy there are a lot of diseases that i doubt you want. i think its a no, but its your desicion. if he loves you, he will wait, and yours and his parents-- but i doubt their involoved with something so personal-- will be happy too. (if you want him to feel good there r other things that arent s*x that i guess you could try if you wanted to)if you do, use protection. i am your age and despite what everyone else is doing kids our age are just too young to be doing that. good luck and God Bless ps-- if all else fails a white lie like-- i have an infection, im on my period, or something else vreative might be a harmless way out if u can get away with it.  

Answer 19

It definitely sounds like you're not ready. Try telling him no by saying, "I'm sorry if it seems like I don't care about you- I really do- but I have to consider my feelings too. I'm just not ready to go this far right now, and I don't want to take any chances." Try reminding him of his dreams as well.

Best of luck.

Answer 20

Wow, your naive. First off, don't have s*x unless you are 100% protected. Secondly, YOUR 15, there is no way that it is going to be enjoyable! You selfconsious about your body and he is not going to do it right to begin with.

Besides after he gets his cake your going to be pushed aside for the next fresh slice.

If he really cared he would not pressure you or make you feel selfconsious.  I wouldn't do it.

Answer 21

did you tell him you're not ready? do that. if you do that, he should respect your wishes....if he really does love you. dont give in if you're not ready because you'll regret it. good luck.

Answer 22

im also 15 and i i have had the same problem. I would tell you not tomlet him pressure you into doing something you dont wanna do. But you also have to think about what you want. And remember its not always about what happens physically, what if he dumps you afterwards. but just do what makes you happy

Answer 23

Darlin even with birth control nothing is 100% effective and so until you are ready to accept the responsibilities of pregnancy you should not have s*x even if you think a lot of your peers are. I your boy friend loves you as you say then why is it his happiness is more important than yours. look at the world around you and take note of how many of your peers are "in love" and then see how that worked out in two months, love does not always last especially at your age ,  I am just trying to get you to see that perhaps your letting love blind you as to what is fact, so please think with your brain and not your heart you will do what is right, and you should help your boyfriend understand also that s*x is not the goal true love and respect is what counts.

Answer 24

You'd both be committing a crime and either parent could turn you in. Normally the boy gets charged with s*x with a minor, even if he's a minor. It's a great big stupid world but I'm telling you they jail and banish kids to the s*x registration on a daily basis.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

June 11th, 2008- Jenna Simons, 19, of Waupaca was convicted of a s*x crime when she was 17, after a consensual sexual encounter with a 15-year-old girl and 20-year-old man. She had no idea her plea would land her on the Wisconsin s*x Offender Registry for life.

When Ricky was 16, he went to a teen club and met a girl named Amanda, who said she was the same age. They hit it off and were eventually having s*x. At the time Ricky thought it was a pretty normal high school romance. Two years later, Ricky is a registered s*x offender,

The teenager was 13 when he pleaded guilty in 2002 to grabbing a girl’s b*****s in a prank — an agreement that netted five years of probation but kept him off the public adult s*x offender list. When requirement to register as an adult took effect in 2006, two months before his 17th birthday, he challenged the law, or at least wanted to be able to withdraw his guilty plea.

a 4-year-old boy in Waco, Tex., was punished with an in-school suspension after a female aide accused him of sexual harassment.

Answer 25

your 15, your too young, and I dont care how many of your friends are having s*x. if your not ready to take care of all the responsibility that comes with having s*x and getting pregnant or getting diseases, then your not ready to have s*x. but first and formost, your not ready, NO MEANS NO, and if he forces you, its rape and if this happens call the police. TELL HIM NO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! your not ready !!!!  

Answer 26

if your not sure that ur ready then dont do it

it could end up s******g your life up so tell him to back off a little bit

Answer 27

At 15 you are not old enough to have s*x because you are not legally an adult and you don't have the ability to pick up after your own disasters, such as pregnancy or STDs. You are not self-supporting.

Better to approach this from the vantage point of strength.

Yes, s*x is the ultimate expression of love BETWEEN ADULTS. I know the mass media passes off s*x as normal and usual, but the truth is, you will have a lot less to worry about if you hold off until you are mature and self-supporting. Look at it as self-preservation.

Every year between now and age 18 is light-years in personal development. I will bet money that you will not still be going with your BF at age 18, and certainly not when you two are done with college... the odds are completely against it.

True love waits. Period.  If he loves you, he will wait until you are darn good and ready. If he is trying hard to convince you, even steamrolling you and "petting" you in an effort to get you to surrender, then he does not care about you, and cares about his own selfish needs only. He is probably looking for bragging rights. You don't give it up for one of these.

If you really have any questions... try asking his mother! I'm sure she doesn't like the idea of having to support a grand-child this early in your BF's life. No matter what your classmates say, it is not normal for young girls to be having s*x, and it is also NOT common for 15 year-olds to be having abortions. Forget the rumors.

Look... even when I was your age (the decadent disco 70's), there was always the rumor that it was "common" for girls to give it up... but I didn't and I didn't know any who did. Even back then, we gave our guys a "taste test" but didn't give them the whole enchilada until we were really sure of their commitment to us, and we didn't begin to move in with them until we had the wedding date set and invitations sent out (that was setting up housekeeping).  

Answer 28

i kinda feel sorry for you, if you don't feel ready then your not. he should be putting pressure on you no matter how nice he is because when your ready it will just happen you wont have to feel like your being pushed into doing it.

and his parents taking you away was a really nice thing to do but you cant let that be your reason to have s*x with him because money cant buy everything.

talk to him about it, tell him you dont feel ready and that your sure the time will come when you do if he is understanding then i hope things work out for you both...if not hes a loser!!

i hope you make the right decision..x

also to everyone who are saying dont do it dont you think she should make this decision for herself? after all its her life...

i starting going out with my boyfriend at 13 and we ended up having s*x quite early on even though he was my first but its been 7yrs and we are still going strong...with no kids and no std's so its not always a bad outcome!!

Answer 29

Only have s*x with your b/f if you are truly ready and the two of you are very committed to each other. Don't do it because of the peer pressure he is laying on you about how he and his parents has been with you and all. Make sure this is what you want as well. Because one you do it then you are not a virgin any more, and my question is, is he going to respect you after wards and are the 2 of you going to stay together and get married?

Answer 30

your not old enough neither of you are, and in many states in fact you may not be extemt from minor laws even if you are both bellow

never let anyone push you, the chanse of this ending up being the man you end up with are very small, you both will grow up and as you do you will grow apart

wait till you are ready, you will be gratefull for that later

trust me i looked so much of whateveryone did when i was your age, but you know what when you hit 20+ your not the same person anymore, you get another perspective

and you got no idea how glad i am that between my mom looking out for me, and not being in the popular crowd back then, i was never in a spot i could make a mistace. The memories i have as a woman with my BF as the person i turned into are ones I wouldnt have had if not for that...so yeah  based on own experience and numerous other friends i made later in life, the trend go towards you change and grow up and later on you will realise you was but a kid at the age your now

so dont do something you will regret later

and likelyhood is what you have is not love, infatuation, in love, atraction ...yes, love no...if it was true love he'd never push you he would be conserned for you and your happyness, it would never fall him in to try for a sekond to pressure you. Before you have intercourse you should be so comfortable with eachother that you can talk about it in technical details, discuss your emotions of nervousness etc.

it should be at such a stage in relationship that comparable to adults they would have already been discusing economies ( a lot of adults do the mistace of jumping the guns to quickly as well), sit down and educate yourself on this subject so you can avoid making the mistaces so many do, now while you still have the chanse to make a difference. There is a reason so many relationships fail, a reason why a whole of 70 % of marriages even fail.

Use your brain first, you obviously have one, and dont invest your emotions before you can make sure its safe.

Answer 31

I really don't think you are ready.....Had you been ready, you would not have asked this question.....By the way, have you thought of your parents......If ever they know about it, won't they feel "betrayed".....

Anyway, if that guy really loves you, then he will understand, and willl surely be comprehensible. The gifts/vacations are in no way supposed to be a counter part for s*x. I fhe really love syou, then he will NEVER EVER remind you of the favours. What he gives, he should never remind you so as to have 'favours' from you....

Talk to him, and explain yourself. If he really loves you, he will surely understand....