My babies father died,?

Question

I became pregnant in aug 06 and gave birth in moy 07 to a beautifull little girl. I was in a relationship at the time of conceptions but was going through a wild child stage and slept with sombody other than who i was in the relationship with, I never told the person that i had the relationship with and he assumed it was his an signed the bith certificate even though we were no longer together. The other guy actually got shot in nov.06 and died. myself and the guy that signed do not get along and i put him up for child support, but he also filed to put him self up. and saiddhe was going to do a dna test. I finally told him yesterday when we got into it she wasnt his, I know we will still get a dna test to be for sure but, how do i handel getting help if the other guy who died is her father , and he never held a job.I also do not know for sure how to contact any of his family

Answer 1

its called get a job.

unless the guy had some sort of life insurance that would be awarded to his child you are on your own. his family is NOT required to help you so contacting them wont do any good.

Answer 2

well my dad just passed away 5 month ago and me and him were really close but my dad didnt pay child support and didnt have a job at the moment he died and my mom hated him for it......dont let you daughter grow up thinking her father was a bad personor something like that......im sorry for your loss and her loss if it is her father

Answer 3

if the other guy is the dad and you never proved it and he never acknowledged it then you're just plain out of luck.  You'll have to get a job and support yourself and your child and apply for social services if you need them.

you could contact his family to let them know that they have a cousin/niece/granddaughter but they won't owe  you any money and if you don't plan on allowing them to have a relationship with your daughter then it would be cruel and a waste of time to let them know she exists.

Answer 4

Don't pay attention to the 12 year olds here!  They have no idea of what life is really like.  They'll make mistakes and things will happen to them that they can't control.  

I was in a similar situation.  My baby's father died and I married a very good friend.  He helped me get ahead a little but we realized that we weren't in love and so we split.  Then it was back to struggling again.  

People don't understand that it's hard to work all day and take care of a child afterwards.  You have to have SOME time with your child or what's the use?  They will grow up not knowing you.  

But you can go on welfare, get section 8 housing and food stamps, free day care, while you go to school.  Then that's all you have to do is go to school and take care of your child.  Once you get out, you can get a better job.  Don't be ashamed of doing that!  You are helping your baby by getting a better job.  If you go to school, you will get all kinds of help.  Go to your local office and see what they can do for you.  I pay taxes and so do you!  You should use them to get out of the rut.

One day I met a really nice guy and he adopted my daughter.  Everything changed then!  But I was already able to support me and my daughter.  He just made it easier and then I had someone to share my life with.  It can happen to you too.  

Don't get discouraged!  A lot of women have been in your place and understand.  You are doing the right thing by trying to do it on your own but sometimes we need help.  Don't try to get into a relationship that isn't right though.  It will bring more problems.  You need time to get over your loss.  

But please know that others care about what happens to you!

Answer 5

wow, i have no answer for you.  good luck.  

you can still get aid from the state based on your income (i.e. wic, day assistance, etc)...and you can try for social security...even if he didn't hold a job hopefully he still worked a little...every little bit helps.

Answer 6

Help? Don't make me laugh.  Even daddys who are still alive don't help, never mind the dead ones.  

Answer 7

You’ve created a huge mess because you made one incredibly selfish decision after another.

First, bio-dad had the right to know about the child.  Would he have even wanted to be involved in child’s life or would he have made a good dad?  Who knows.  But he deserved to have the opportunity to be a father to the child.

Then you tricked another man into believing the child was his, knowing full well there was a chance it wasn’t.

Females like you give women a bad name.

Rude?  Maybe.  True?  Absolutely.

But moving on—If you live in the US….  

The only way for legal dad to be removed from the birth certificate and be relieved of child support is for the court to allow him to disestablish paternity.  In most states (with the exception of very few) once paternity has been legally established (and in this case it has been), the court will not allow it be disestablished, regardless of what a dna test says (because he failed to request a test in a timely manner—which of course is due to the fact that he trusted you and tricked him, but nevertheless…).   Congrats on s******g over an innocent man.  I hope you feel good about yourself.  

If the court does allow paternity to be disestablished, you then have to attempt to establish bio-dad’s paternity, and since he’s now deceased it’s going to be hard.  It can be done (they can use dna from his parents or his siblings), but it will be much more complicated and time-consuming (which also equates to more expensive).  If you do get his paternity established, and he NEVER held a job, then there’s no social security benefits to collect for the child (because he didn’t pay anything into social security), so you get nothing in the way of support.  It will, however, give his parents the right to petition for grandparent visitation, and if they do that, when you go to court, this little ‘stunt’ that you pulled is going to make you look very bad in the eyes of the court.  But frankly, if you had any sense of decency they wouldn’t have to take you court because you would allow them the right to know their grandchild.

And in the midst of all this, you didn’t say a single thing in your post to indicate that you feel any remorse for what you’ve done—your post is all about ‘how can I get money’.  You seriously need to grow a conscience.

Answer 8

Get a job, go back to school, and try to deal with the mess you got your self into. You have a child! clean up your act! its tuff but you can do it.  Maybe find a church, and find some people in the community that have been in the same position and worked though it, and use them as roll models.