My baby brother is so angry...

Question

... and I'm quite concerned about him. We lived together in a house in Perth, Western Australia, for 5 months, which was the same house we grew up in, and he's recently moved out, and moved about 4 hours away. I've tried to talk to him via MSN, via text message, via phone calls, and he (and his girlfriend) just seem to swear (well he's doing all the swearing) and getting angry at me, when I'm saying nothing (well, nothing that I can see) in a way that it could be taken as I'm angry or upset or disappointed!!!!

i.e.

Me: "Do you know where you put the such and such"

Brother: "Oh just **** off. You're always asking us to do such and such. You're so lazy"

(not exactly what they're saying, but you get the idea). I'm not swearing at them. I'm not calling them names (oh, I did call him a dag on Saturday because he said something funny), but I'm not calling them any nasty names, and I seem to be copping it every time I try talking to him. I haven't text him in 2 days, and I have him on block on MSN. It's breaking my heart to do so, but I'm getting married in just over 2 years time, and I don't want him at my wedding nor my engagement party, because I'm scared he's just going to start more s**t again and ruin my day.

Any advice???

Answer 1

I would ask him just what is your problem. If you get no results then cut off ties with him for a while. I bet you she is behind whatever it is

Answer 2

Firstly how old are you and your brother?

These days a lot of people seem to swear as a normal vocab for them so don't straight away say that he's insulting you.

Because you've been apart for awhile maybe the friends he hangs around with swear regularly as their normal vocab and he does the same to "fit" in. If it makes you uncomfortable just ask him to please not swear when he's talking to you as it upsets you.  

Answer 3

he wants s*x with you,thats where his anomosity is coming from,but you know this.for it to stop you know what you have to do....takes one to know one.

Answer 4

As you said, he recently moved out! Doesn't that explain it. No, your brother does NOT want to have s*x with you, he's just upset and getting used to the move. He lived in that house with you guys for so long, and I bet he's never experianced living away from that. Home is where the heart is! Naturally, all humans will probably get agitated from the overwhelming task of moving away from the one place they've called home. Just tell him to lighten up and ask what his problem is. I'm most positive that shock and moving has much to do with this. Or, sadly, it could be the fact of his GF. Maybe she's mean to him, or just doesn't show the respect he was used to. Don't worry, it's all good.

**Mi♥a**

Answer 5

My advice is to always keep the line of communications open with family,  and  don't make decisions about your guest list two years from now.  A lot can and will happen in two years.  Just love your brother and be supportive.  If the conversations go off-course from time to time,  just say "I love you , but I can't talk to you anymore right now - call me back when you want to be civil"  and hang up - but don't slam the door for the next time.  Family is very important.  Even if he doesn't want to, you should do your best to hold it together.  Always tell him you love him,  it could be that he is truly troubled and that could be the only thing that holds it together for him.  

Answer 6

It's probably just a phase.  I would ask him why he is upset.  But be careful how you phrase things to him.  Don't say, "You're really hurting my feelings.  Why are you being so nasty?"  The less confrontational thing to say is. "I am feeling upset and confused.  I feel hurt and sad when you tell me to f off or swear at me.  I really want our relationship to improve and if you can tell me what I have done to hurt you I think I want to try and work things out."  No matter how rude he is don't show him you are angry but rather just back off and contact him less.  You can't make him behave decently but you can open up the way to communication.  If he is swearing at you say something like, "I find that language very hurtful.  I want to talk to you but I think I'll just wait till you calm down."  Then give him some air.  You don't deserve his abuse but if you react with anger it may just escalate things.  Hopefully with a little space and distance he will come around soon.