My baby won't sleep in her bassinet and I don't know what to do!!?

Question

Im so scared of falling asleep and rolling on my baby or something...

My baby sleeps all day and is most awake at night. I try to swaddle her and put her on her bed but she hates being in there... As of now my husband and I brought our mattress top out in the living room and we all sleep in the bed ( i put maddison on my side in her baby wedge so she doesn't roll over and for some reason she sleeps that way. She just has to be close to us. I don't know what to do. I don't know how long I can sleep in my living room...

how do i get her to like her bassinet? its as if the mattress is too hard or something

Answer 1

Aww, don't feel that way. I'm not a mom, but I've been around plenty of babies. My niece was the same way as your baby, she never liked to be in her crib. But even when she slept in the same bed as her mom (and me, when I slept over) she was never rolled on. I think its just a sixth sense a mom develops when something so precious is that close to you. I know I even woke myself out of a sleep almost immediately when I felt my hand get heavy on her little back.

The reason why I think you'll get it, is because you care so much to be concerned about your baby, there is no way, even in sleep, that you'd harm her.

You'll be fine, love. And get some rest in your room.  

Answer 2

my 2mth old daughter doesnt like to sleep in her bassinet either and my husband put her in the bed with us one night and now for about a mth and a half thats the way she has been sleeping all it is ur baby wants to be close to u and ur husband she feels secure that way  

Answer 3

Our girls also co-sleep. Our one daughter is 2 and she will only come in very early in the morning. Our other is 3 and such a cuddle bug. There are alot of benefits to co-sleeping and I hope that you will do some research into it. If you really want her out of your bed try sleeping with her blankets and bedding for a few nights so that it smells like you. Babies can smell very well and know if you are there or not. Also try moving her after she falls asleep. Eventually she will out grow it. Please research co-sleeping. and know that you are not a horrible mom, co-sleeping is alot more common that you think.

Answer 4

have you tried bringing the bassinet up into your room and making it level with your bed, so she can still see you? also keep her awake all day so she is very tired at night, and you are not a bad mom, it is hard for everyone the first time, you will figure it out just give it some time.

Answer 5

First, you aren't a horrible mom.  My babies hated the bassinet too.  They liked sleeping with me.  Have you thought about getting a cosleeper?  It's like a bed for your baby that attaches to your bed so she's still sleeping with you (what she wants) and she's far enough detached from you that you don't worry you'll roll on her (what you want).

Secondly, it sounds like she has her days and nights mixed up.  Big old duh for me, right? lol.  You need to work on keeping her awake for a few minutes after each feeding.  Try for 5-10 at first.  Then let her take a nap for a little while.  Wake her up, keep her up for a little while again. It will eventually work itself out.  I would try reading "Baby Wise" too.  I loved their idea in that book-just the general concept not the whole "babies don't need to be held" garbage they're tossing around in there.  They recommend a sleep-eat-wake cycle for your kids.  Try it.  See if it works.  Good luck!

Answer 6

Your not a horrible mom! My baby didn't like sleeping in her bassinet either, so I started putting her to sleep in her crib and she was fine. Your a first time mom so don't be so hard on yourself. I'm a first time mom also and believe me it does get easier! Those motherly extincts will kick in and you'll be a pro.

Answer 7

my son hated the bassinet until we finally bought a mattress insert.. try putting her in the bassi when she is awake..or try waiting 15-20 minutes after she falls asleep and then put her in it..hope that helps

Answer 8

Why babies should never sleep alone: A review

of the co-sleeping controversy in relation to SIDS,

bedsharing and breast feeding

http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/articles...

CO-SLEEPING: YES, NO, SOMETIMES?

http://askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp

http://www.naturalchild.org/tine_theveni...

If the body indicates a need for food, treating it like a habit and disregarding it will not make the hunger go away. Ignoring the sensation of wanting to lie down and sleep will not cure one forever from having to sleep eight hours a day.

But if one is in the habit of putting his keys in his right pocket, there need be only a worn-out pocket to change the habit from putting the keys in right to the left pocket.

The child who seeks his parents' bed at night is expressing a basic need. And this need must take its own time and pace for satisfaction.

The child who is thus allowed to be with his parents will gradually mature to being satisfied with sleeping elsewhere, usually seeking the companionship of another member of the family. Should this child choose to sleep alone, it might do well to be aware that he has not transferred his seeking security from his parents or siblings to an inanimate object. If the child wants to sleep with his parents, it means he needs it. If he crawls into his parents' bed but then is content to be taken to a sibling's bed, it may mean that he was in the habit of going to his elders' bed.

For some strange reason we tend to think that to satisfy a child's need is to make it into an unbreakable habit, where in truth the exact opposite is true.6

When our children develop a "good" habit, one that suits us, we are afraid it is not going to last. But when our children develop a "bad" habit, one that does not suit us, we are afraid it is going to last forever. So many people are afraid that their children will not grow up. We are told to feed them solids with a spoon at three weeks of age, lest babies will never learn to eat solids, let alone with a spoon. We are told to toilet train them when they are one year old or they will never quit wearing diapers. We are told to begin to discipline them at one month, otherwise they will never listen to us. We are told that children must always sleep in their own bed or they will always want to sleep with us. It is commonly believed that babies need to be weaned by the mother. And yet when weaning is left totally up to the child, it happens in a natural, healthy, and relaxed way. At the time the child no longer needs direct physical contact with his mother, then he weans himself from the breast. Likewise, parents' experiences indicate that the healthy child will wean himself in time from the parental bed.

Children should be given the credit that, provided the home environment is healthy, they will mature. As each need is fulfilled at each stage, they will move on and become more mature. (We did. Let's hope.)

Answer 9

Don't feel like a terrible mom because it sounds like your a good mommy. Your here on this to find out how to handle this situation and that's a GREAT step.

When my 10 year old daughter was a new born and a bit after that. My daughter Coral wouldn't sleep in her crib/bassinet either. She to would sleep most of the day and be more awake at night. No matter what I did i could not change her little mind. She knew what she wanted and that was that. I to felt like a bad mother and I would cry. When Coral took her naps during the day she would sleep in her crib just fine. But at night she wouldn't. I even set her bassinet up right next to my bed and would try to place her in there when she fell asleep but of course that didn't work. She would sleep with me and my husband in our bed every night. I was so afraid that one of us would roll over her or something so I didn't sleep well at all. She was a breast fed baby so she was awake more often all through the night. That was one good thing about having Coral in bed with us because I was right there to feed her. My husband loved having her in our bed but I didn't because of the fear I had for her safety. It was great though having her close to me but I wanted my own bed back so that I could sleep and not have to worry so much. Coral finally out grew that. People used to tell me to leave her in her crib and let her cry and cry. But I couldn't do that. She was just a new born for heaven sakes. And I didn't feel that that was right at all. She slept with us for about 6 weeks to two months. Of course my husband wanted her to still sleep with us but that wasn't going to be healthy Coral needed to learn how to sleep in her own bed. I WANTED MY BED AGAIN!!!!!  And I didn't want Coral to sleep with us until she was 18 years old or something. I wish you good luck with your baby situation. I know exactly how you are feeling.

Answer 10

Please don't listen to Gary B and ignore the crying.  She will never learn to trust you!  How could you put a pillow over your head and ignore the crying, I consider that abuse.

Answer 11

first of all put your mattress back into your bedroom, do not start doing this or it will be a long list of things until the kids in high school! second of all your baby is probably fine and comfortable in the bassinet, she just loves and misses her mommy! try to keep the house very light and busy during the day whether you have tv on or the radio on try to keep it light and stimulating, and at night do the opposite keep it dark and quiet and very BORING!! this will eventually teach baby about night and day! can you wedge her in the bassinet if she enjoys sleeping this way? another idea i tell my daycare moms is to wrap baby in a blanket you slept on last night and they will have your smell all the time and not be missing you so bad! Good luck and enjoy that pretty baby!

Answer 12

you didnt say where she sleeps during the day. if she is not sleeping in her bed during the day try putting her there so she can get used to it. as far as co sleeping goes my only advice it not to start it unless you plan to have your child sleep with you all the time. once they get into the habit of sleeping with you it is very hard to get them into their own beds should you decide they need to. your not a horrible mom just one who needs a little help like we all did (and still do) the only horrible thing would be for you to need help and not ask for it. you sound like a very loving mom dont be so hard on yourself!! take care.

Answer 13

Gary B, you're an idiot.

Honestly, my baby always liked her crib better than the bassinet. We also had a little papasan bouncer and she slept much better in there for a month (when she was first born) just because it was so snuggly and soft. I don't know how old your baby is, but when I had a sleep problem I brought her to bed with me. She slept with me for a month, I just put her on my chest and then when she fell asleep we'd turn slightly to the side, with my arm around her. You can never roll on her if your own arm is in a position like that. She got used to sleeping all night and when I swtiched back to the crib she was fine and continued sleeping all night.

I hate it when people say it's a bad habit to sleep with your baby and you shouldn't do it unless you want a three year old sleeping with you... that only happens if you let it continue to happen!!

If you choose to cosleep, make sure your husband is OK with it. Mine didn't care, as long as the baby slept but some people wouldn't be.  

Answer 14

Co-sleep.  Honestly, it's better for your baby and for you.  You're not going to roll on her if you're not drugged or something.  Mothers who cosleep actually end up sharing sleep cycles with their infants.

It's been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS because babies tend to not fall into the dangerous deep sleep that they would apart from their mothers, and their mothers are very tuned into their babies sleep patterns.

She would probably sleep better next to you.  She needs that close contact with you.  It's how families have slept for millenia.  Don't worry about rolling on her.  Just keep tight sheets on your bed, and pillows and blankets away from her.

Answer 15

tonight try sleeping with her blanket or even on her mattress so it gets your smell on it, then tomorrow night try putting her in the bassinet.  

Answer 16

how about you try sleeping with her for couple of days in her room ..next to her bassinet. That way, you are close to her and she gets used to the idea of being in bassinet.

Also, try putting her in bassinet once she falls asleep. If she cries, bring her back, put her to sleep, put her back in bassinet. Eventually she would get idea that here is where I sleep. try having nice musical mobile on top of the bassinet that she can look at when falling asleep. Try having very dim lights in her room if she doesnt like dark. lots of things you can do but you ought to have lots of patience.

Also, you didnt say how old is baby?

Answer 17

don't let her fall sleep during the day , easier said than done. but you got to try, and at night give her a warm bath , and then what worked best for me was music, shut all the lights, no distractions, allow her to sleep with you as soon as she falls sleep put her in her bassinet, you might have to do this 5 times every night, in about a week she 'll be used to it and you'll be able to have a good night sleep.

Answer 18

I had the same problem with my baby when he was just born, we got him a playpen instead and it helped a lot put it right next to your bed side. My baby loves seeing that im next to him, they love to sleep close to us. I feel like baby's feel trapped in some bassinets. Bassinet cushion is a bit hard in my opinion I put a lot of layer blankets on top of the bassinet mattress top or the playpen.

Answer 19

Maybe its too small ?. What about a bigger baby-cage. Uh oh i don't even know what's the name.

Answer 20

Don't put her in the bed with you, they get to spoiled to fast and it'll be even harder to get her to sleep in her own bed when she is older than when she is a baby. It's hard but you have to lay her in the bassinet (do this during the day for nap time at first) and let her cry herself to sleep, this can take anywhere from 3 min to a couple of hours, if it turely takes a couple of hours I would then suggest rocking her to sleep at first, then laying her down, and if she wakes up (mine always slept on her stomach) just pat her back or her butt till she drifts off. The screaming can be harsh but it stretches her lungs and it keeps her from being spoiled. Oh and don't forget those sounds of the womb sort of devices... those are good to play, there are also these things you can get that is about 18 in long and 12 inches wide and only an inch or 2 deep that you put water in and you can put it on her mattress... it helped with my daughter.

Answer 21

Babies can have weird sleep habits in the beginning. You're definitely not a horrible mom! My daughter would only sleep in her swing for the first 2 months. She wouldn't sleep in her crib at all. The moment we laid her down in it, she'd scream. We put her in her swing and kept it going, the motion kept her asleep I guess. But by 3 months, she was ready for her crib and has slept soundly in it ever since. So I'm sure this is just a phase.  

Answer 22

Don't feel horrible.

I'm sorry, I have no good advice as I have the same dilemma- my baby will NOT sleep in her bassinet. I just wanted you to know you're not alone. We've tried all sorts of things (put her in her bassinet while she's groggy/not asleep yet, pushed it right up next to the bed, put a little mattress/baby sleeping positioner in it, etc etc etc) I think that some babies are just "better" sleepers than others. I'm just hoping it will get better with time. I continue to try other things for the time being, but right now we are co-sleeping too. (She doesn't even sleep very well THAT way... I'm running on a lot of caffeine these days)

Answer 23

Letting her sleep with you is a badhabit to start. My daughter is 6 and still feels like she should sleep with us. Even when we put her in her own bed, she wakes up in the middle of the night and we wake up with her in our bed, lol. As far as her being awake all night and sleeping duing he day, my daughter did this as well and her doctor tld us to try o keep her active andstimulated throughout the day and not let her take long naps in the afternoon and she would be so exhausted she would sleep at night, this hardly ever worked. You should not feel like a bad mother for everything you are doing for your baby.They do make some bassinets that the side comes down and it attaches to the side of the bed. Maybe that would work for you. Good luck with your precious angel :)  

Answer 24

You are right to be afraid that you might roll ove on her.  That is the Number One cause of infant deaths that are not otherwise casused by  illness.

There are two thing you must do.  The first is keep her awake in the day time.  Play with her!  Or have someone else do it. But keep her awake most of the daytime hours. Obviously, when nighttime comes, she'll be sleepy.

next you MUST get used to her crying and fussing when you're not there.  The problem is not the she misses you -- it is that you miss her.  YOU have to get over this problem,.  You explained it yourself: "I feel like I'm a horrible mom"

Baby's dry.  Frankly, that's about all they do -- eat, sleep, p**p, and cry.  You must get over thinking that you a "bad mom" if your baby cries.  That is reflected in the "sleeping all day" problem -- sleeping baby = quiet baby = good mom.  WRONG!  Babies cry, children fuss. Get used to it.

Now, this IS going to make for some sleepless night, but you and your husband have to agree TOGETHER that this is what you need to do.  The two of you MUST present a united front.

Which means you BOTH must  ingore the crying.  Cover your head with a pillow, but do NOT answer the cries.  Hold to your other schedules. Does she still need fed in the middle of the night?  Nneed a 3AM diaper change?  that's OK.  But otherwise, she stays in the sleeper by herself.

This of course will be MUCH easier if you keep her awake during the day . . . .

It is VERY important that you and your husband learn this "tough love" routine early,.  As she gets older she will try to "play you off against each other", and that IS BAD!  She needs to learn NOW that Mommy and Daddy work together, and what Mommy says Daddy will reinforce -- and vice versa.

Except for the OCCASIONAL thunderstorm or nightmare, children should NEVER spend the night in the parents bed.  That area must remain sacred, especially of your marriage is to continue to flourish.  

Start now by getting over YOUR mental problem, train your husband to work with you, and train this little one that her bed is just as safe and as warm as is your.