My babys father died>>>>?

Question

I became pregnant in aug 06 and gave birth in moy 07 to a beautifull little girl. I was in a relationship at the time of conceptions but was going through a wild child stage and slept with sombody other than who i was in the relationship with, I never told the person that i had the relationship with and he assumed it was his an signed the bith certificate even though we were no longer together. The other guy actually got shot in nov.06 and died. myself and the guy that signed do not get along and i put him up for child support, but he also filed to put him self up. and saiddhe was going to do a dna test. I finally told him yesterday when we got into it she wasnt his, I know we will still get a dna test to be for sure but, how do i handel getting help if the other guy who died is her father , and he never held a job.I also do not know for sure how to contact any of his family.I do work. and I now have two girls 15 months and 2 months. You will be wasting your time by leaving any rude comments, because yes i know it was a immature act and i do regret the decisions i made in my past, but that little girl is my life now....both girls are, and i am trying to make a better life for them. So PLEASE dont judge me, everyone goes through a wild child rebellion stage, jus because you didnt have a child doent make you and better than myself!

Answer 1

I'm not sure that I can be of any help at all. The only thing that I can suggest is once you find out that your ex isn't the father, you can get a dna done with the guy's family and try to get some social security benefits for the baby. I feel for you, because, as you said, we all did something that we're not proud of. Hang in there and best of luck to you.

Answer 2

Whatever

Answer 3

Your sad.  They are tons of women out there wishing that there guy would take responsibility to his child & then we have you lying your *** off to a man & expecting him to do right by you and YOUR little girl.  That's right, yours not his responsibility.  

You need to do 3 things:

1. Get on birth control

2. Get a job/find daycare

3. Grow up, start making some smart decisions for you & your two children

Answer 4

First of all i am not here to judge u,second of all if the father to ur daughter died u cant get any money obviously because he never held a job,if he is the father it would b a great start to talk with his family if u can track them down somehow.It's so sad when a woman gives birth to a baby and that childs father dies my friend has been through what ur goin through,i do hope all works out for u.

Answer 5

well if it comes back to be the guy who died was the father its going to be hard to prove unless u can get a hold of his family to do a dna test through them to see if there are similarities and if it is fact that he is the father i think maybe you can get social security I'm not sure about that or how to help with that part but do the dna find out if its the jerks if not get on the ball and play detective,find out all you can about the other guy and find his family

Answer 6

Holy c**p, Baby Daddies, people getting shot! So, Ok I do have one question though and that is: why did you have 2 kids you can't afford to take care of? I mean you had number 2 just 13 months after number one. How long until number three? You need to call Maury. Seriously, that is the only place I have ever seen this people getting shot/dna thing. That was really cold you told your ex she wasn't his when you were mad. You should have told him a long time a ago in a better way.

Answer 7

to be honest, to get ahold of your daughters real father's family, even though you dont know them.  they will embrace you like their own, and more then likely be OVERJOYED, that their son has a daughter.  they are grieving over the loss of their son, and to have this little piece of miracle who happens to be half of him introduced back into their lives, is only an answer to a prayer.  you might not get the finacial support that you need, but emotionally, you will........because they will be there for their grand daughter, niece, cousin, regardless.  this is a tough situation, and you are right, we all have rebelious stages.  sometimes you have to hit rock bottom, and go up from there.  good luck to you and your family!!!

Answer 8

If you know for sure that the baby was the other guys that died you can file for survivors benefits for her through social security. You will need a copy of his death certificate and a letter from his parents stating that they're son was indeed the father. Also it will retro back to the month he died. If his parents do not know that it was his child it may or may not help you. Because he is already in the ground you have to have that letter from them to get support for her. Oh and also you should search the obits for his because that is something else they will ask you for. Once dna is determined then you must have a legal name change done for your child because the other guys name will be taken off. You can get support for her but it may be a little ruff considering he was never told. I hope for your sake that you can contact his parents if they are still living.. Good Luck.

Answer 9

Guys she did ask for no abusive comments. She knows her decsions were silly. She accepts that. The problem I'm worried about is how are you going to tell your baby when they grow up that their daddy is dead? :(

Good luck

x

Answer 10

Not to sound rude but if you were really worried about the man who passed on being your daughters father then you shouldn't have waited so long. Now it's going to look like your just out to find anyone to be your babys daddy. But if its something you really think you have to do then they maybe able to test the dna of a sibling since their dna would be really close.

Good Luck

Answer 11

Hi. Since he died a couple of years ago, I don't know if you can go back and claim the insurance or anything he could have left to his baby. I am not an american citizen either but you could always call the governement about programs for subvention when the dad of the child has died. There must be some sort of help. If not, you're gonna have to do this on your own, I guess. I know the help, here, in Canada, is so little that there's not much difference between making it on your own or with it ;)

You can still have child support for that other child which is, I suppose, his. I'm not judging or anything, I just don't think there is a miracle situation.

Answer 12

Im don't want to judge you for what you did 2-3 years ago, you were a different person then...

HOWEVER up until yesterday you were sueing your ex to try get money/child support out of him for a child you knew was not his. You knew it wasnt his baby, yet you were trying to get him to pay for the child for the next EIGHTEEN years up until yesterday. You cannot blame your "wild-child" days for something you were still doing 2 days ago

It is people like you that give the child support system a bad name.

Answer 13

i think your very brave for telling this other guy the truth that the baby may not be his, and i think you made the right decision in telling him.  i would wait for the dna to come back to be completley sure before trying to contact this guys family to save everyone from the heartbreak.i dont know what support you would get from child support etc, because i am  not on my own, so you would have to work this out.  contacting his family would probably take a while and you would have to start from where you last knew he was.  dont expect his family to welcome you with both arms as they may not, remember that they have just lost their own child and will still be coming to terms with their loss so it might take time for them to except you and your daughter

dont apologise for what you have done in the past what is important now is that you are the best mum that you can be and that you love and do what you think is right by your children. good luck x