My best friend's boyfriend is having his bar mitzvah. He invited me and I'm going but I have a lot of ?'s

Question

What gift should I get him if I don't really know him as much more then my friend's boyfriend? (cash amount)

Do I have to wear a dress or would like a semi-short black skirt and a polo do?

I lost my RSVP form, what should I do?

Answer 1

You should dress smartly. There is no reason why you should have to wear a dress, so long as you are appropriately dressed.

A cash gift,  I think, as far as I'm aware, would be inappropriate for you as a friend. It is more a family thing to give a cash gift. A book would be a good appropriate gift; it is traditional to buy something mildly educational.

If you have lost your RSVP form, write a very brief letter saying you would like to come.

I.e. Dear whoever,

Thank you very much for inviting me to your Bar Mitzvah celebration; I would very much like to come.

Yours,

Somebody else.

As a note; it is not correct to say HAVING a Bar Mitzvah. He is BECOMING a Bar Mitzvah. Bar Mitzvah means 'one who observes the commandments'.  But you can say 'having a Bar Mitzvah CELEBRATION'.

If you want to impress him on knowing what's going on, you can tell him 'mazel tov' when you see him at the celebration. It means congratulations in Hebrew. It is the correct and polite thing to say.

Answer 2

hi...

ok, either send a note to his parents, OR call them, to respond to the rsvp (in many communities it is considered appropriate to respond by phone).  

ask your best friend what you should wear.  she's certainly aware of the degree of formality involved.  alternately, you could enquire, of his mom when you respond by phone, what would be appropriate to wear.  some bar mitzvah celebrations are informal, and some can be really elaborate.  ask your friend, since she'd know.  also, ask her for a couple of ideas for gifts.  commonly, (at least in the more religious communities, though frequently in others, as well) gifts are given in multiples of 18, or chai (which means life).  so, $18 would be 'giving chai', $36 would be "giving double chai", etc

bsck in the day, it was common to give gifts of matching pen and pencil sets (which lead to the old, semi-funny joke that the bar mitzvah boy started his speech "today i am a fountain pen"!!!)

i hope that you attend and enjoy!  

Answer 3

You will have to check with your best friend.  Bar Mitzvahs can be very elaborate occasions.  The dress code will depend on where the party is and what the family is planning for the event.  The same for a gift.  Find out from your friend what would be appropriate.  If you are not jewish, this event is not something you can just guess on.  

Answer 4

you should ask your best friend. It's her boyfriend. She must know the protocol and if you tell her you lost your RSVP she can let him know and also let him know you are definitely coming. Ask her advice and tell her about the fact that you don't want to spend too much money but ask what kind of gift is acceptable for a bar mitzvah and what is best to wear. She must be familiar with this through him, xx