My best friend's recent ex is a good friend of mine, is it ok to hang out?

Question

He's only just gotten back from the army and broke up with her. I'm close with his family but we're definitely just friends. She's pretty upset. We were all in a close friendship group not too long ago.

Would it be going behind her back to hang out like we used to? And if we do, should I tell her? It wouldn't be alone, other friends would be there too.

Answer 1

why not, you're just hanging out.  if it goes any farther then it's weird.

Answer 2

If you value your friendship with this girl the answer would be no..I would suggest you discuss this with her..Think about this carefully because it could be the end of your friendship.  Nothing worse than a woman scorned.  This is just my opinion but I am sure you will do the right thing..good luck..:)

Answer 3

if pretty much been in your friends situation and it made everything harder that my best friend did that to me she lied and went behind my back. its not worth the risk of your friendship (just to hang out....) or is it? idk thats up to you think about it really

Answer 4

If he's just a good friend, then your best friend must mean a lot more to u. So, to make her happy, cant u sacrifice your friendship with her ex? It will make her unhappy, pose problems in your friendship, and may also make the ex misunderstand u. What u are doing is wrong, your best friend needs your support now.  

Answer 5

its probably best to ask your best friend otherwise you might have to choose one over the other

Answer 6

Ask your best friend.  You could lose her if you dont.

Answer 7

heyy u shud carry on wid ur friendship with ur best friends's recent ex.........they have their own problem......but u r not having any problem........u better do to solve the misunderstanding b/w them.....

it will be gud for u and for ur friends toooooo

Answer 8

If your best friends X is her X then it's none of her business who he hangs out with or involves himself with just like it's none of his business what she does ,,,, You can't live your life according to the dictates of others and it's unfair for anyone to expect you to ,,,,  Regardless of who broke up with who it's none of her business ,,,, With this in mind why would you worry about whether she knows or not ,,,, You aren't hurting anyone ,,,,It shouldn't matter one way or the other if she does or doesn't know ,,,,

If she expects you to discontinue your friendship with this guy on her behalf then she's putting you on a spot and forcing you to make a choice between him or her and that's not fair for her to expect that and she's out of line if she does ,,,, Friends can be hard to come by and a friend is a friend regardless of any entanglements ,,,, Do what you want to do ,,,, Don't let anything or any one dictate what you do or where you go or who you choose as friends ,,,, You and this guy aren't the problem here ,,,, His X girlfriend is if she expects every one to choose sides,,,, She sounds like a drama queen ,,,,,          //      

Answer 9

NOOOOOOOOOOOO, dont hangout with her right away, let yerr friend get over her first. because put yourself in her shoes.. how would you feel?

if you were really a good friend to her then you wouldnt think of doing that. i would just wait.

Answer 10

ask a person not yahoo answers

Answer 11

of course its okay..

my best friends ex bf is like really close to me too

we hang out all the time and she doesnt seem to mind.

but i think u should tell ur best friend that ull be hanging out with him and tell her that other ppl will be there also and maybe u could invite her too.

Answer 12

if he wont be nothing more than a friend and u already have a bf and it wont be alone i dont see the harm or big deal in hanging out with him, i would tell her tho never keep stuff like that behind your bestfriends back but if she dont respect your decision you guys talk bout it and hopefully clear it up.

Answer 13

If you want to hang out with him. Mention it to your friend.  

Answer 14

Ask her how she feels about it .

Answer 15

I would ask my friend. But it wouldn't be good if you to where sneaking around your friends back. So you  should ask your friend.

Answer 16

Keep your friendship with him and your friendship with her very separate and isolated. Don't tell him anything about her or vice verse. That way they wont use you as a go between, next explain to your girl-friend that you too have been friends and that you are not betraying her but you will not betray him either and you will be friends with both. You may not be the same group of friends but you can still be "separate friends". That way you keep your friendship with both.

But beware she may dig for info on him, and try to slam him in front of you. It is best to just keep quite, or to just tell her that she shouldn't mention him and neither will you. If she has any maturity she will understand. Yes she will be a lil miffed, but its better to know where everyone stands and not sneak around or she may think something more than friendship is in the air.

Answer 17

maybe you two would hurt her, maybe she has knew the whole story, ask your other friends, and ask him who he like best

Answer 18

No not good. Determine who's friendship is most valuable to you and choose to hang out with them. This is a catch-22. Sorry!

Answer 19

well he's ur fren as much as ur best fren's ex. so just becos they broke off, it don't mean u have to end ur frenship with him. i'm sure ur best fren is wise but then to avoid any misunderstanding in the future, its best you talk to her bout this. i'm sure she'll be ok with u continuing yr frenship with him. assure her that u're still be the same pal to her and that u'll always be there for her but also tell her that it won't be fair to him (her ex) that u stop being his fren when things didn't work out between them. tell her she and him are both ur frens and both are important to u. i hope she's mature enough to not follow her heart and forbid you from being his fren. he needs ur frenship too cos not only is ur fren goin thru a bad experience, he is too. so u're have to work extra hard and offer ur shoulder and ears to both of them

  

Answer 20

Technically it's only going behind her back if you don't tell her.  As far as the dos and don'ts of hanging out with your best friend's ex, the standard answer is DON'T.  It's considered a faux pas.  Many, many people do it . . . and many, many friendships are strained or lost over it.  You have to figure out just what you'd be risking either way and whether or not it's worth it.

Good luck!  You may be able to tell her that you love her to death, but have been friends with both parties for so long that being forced to choose is a terrible loss for you.  Some people are able to work it out and be friends with both sides.

Answer 21

No.....No....NOOOOOO!!  Absolutely not!  It will always come between you no matter how long ago it was that they broke up.  Some things are just not meant to be screwed around with and your best friend's X is definately one of them.  Even just in friendship..it's still a NO NO!

Answer 22

Just ask your friend if it is okay to start dating him?

Because that is what you want, to date him.

Just be honest with yourself, then be honest with others.

They may not like you anymore, but at least you wont be manipulating anyone.

In my opinion it is NOT OKAY to be friends with a friends ex bf, or ex  husband and certainly not okay to "hang out" / date, s***w or whatever else with your friends ex.....

Answer 23

you can hang out with anyone you want to people can't tell you who to hang out with

Answer 24

hang out, but no hanky panky ok?