My best friend is Bi, I identify as straight...?

Question

I love my best friend. If I were ever to experiment with the L*****n side of life, it'd be with her.

Here's my issue:

People always ask us if we're a couple (we're practically attached at the hip...) which elicits the response from her: "She's my heterosexual life partner" which is fine, and then she'll tell me she's not interested in me romantically etc etc...

But recently she's been... all over me, really. Like with cuddling and hugging and all up in my personal space when previously it was like there was a 6 inch bubble around both of us. And for MY part, though I love her and wouldn't mind trying stuff, she's always held firm that while she identifies as Bi, she doesn't actually like all out s*x with girls, but rather just like making out and like, everything up to but not s*x. So I pretty much just play along but never initiate anything, and continue to try to find "booty" elsewhere.

But then I tell her of guys I meet or whatever and she gets like, depressed-like and doesn't want to hear about it.

But she SWEARS she doesn't have a "thing" for me.

...

Do you think she's lying to keep herself from getting hurt by me?

If I think she's super hot and actually enjoy the cuddling etc, and would be willing to try just about anything with her, does that technically make me Bi, or am I straight with a certain exception? I have NO feelings like this for ANY other girl.

I do hate labeling... I've always felt that if I found love with whomever it was, no matter whether they were male, female or some crazy gender that's not even described, that I'd be just fine with it.

I duno, I'm just looking for opinions from you guys.

Answer 1

bi-curious.. ithink. dont worry its a faze... maybe ask her about experimenting but she likes u if she goes all quiet..!

Answer 2

Kinsey described sexuality as a range between pure heterosexuality to pure homosexuality.  It is believed that very few people actually fall completely at either end.  Maybe you are 90% heterosexual and your friend is 50%, but it doesn't really technically make you bisexual just because you'd be willing to have s*x with her.  You'd still be mostly straight.  

But yes, I suspect she is trying to guard herself against falling for you, because she would inevitably get hurt in the end.  "Trying stuff" with her sexually may seem like fun and games to you, but are you down for a long-term romantic relationship with her?  Probably not.  So, if you had s*x with her, and she let herself fall all the way in love with you as she would no doubt be tempted, she would get heart broken when you couldn't reciprocate in the same way.

Please do her a favor and stop even flirting with the idea of having s*x with her.  Encourage her to find someone else, and stick to friendship with her.

Answer 3

I think it's great- you shouldn't have to label yourself.  I don't think anyone here can tell you how your friend really feels- you just have to trust your own instincts.  I wouldn't think it makes you "bi" if you like your friend.  I think it makes you lucky that you have someone to feel good with.  Who cares, right?  And if someone cares, who cares if they care?

Good for you.  :)

Answer 4

i think you just are really close friends with her, and being comfortable with each other which is great! it doesnt make you bi, and she could be lieing just to spare your feelings, but the truth is, if she really REALLY liked you, she would tell you even though she knows you are straight. i told my straight friend that i liked her, but thats when i came out of the closet. lol. so, idk

good luck and God Bless.

Answer 5

you sound very bisexual to me, but hey I think most people are to some extent. there is more to love than gender.

I think she's just being a friend, it sounds like she cares about you and does enjoy your company, whether its a sexual thing or not I don't think it is. because I am bi and I like to "flirt" with my friends who are girls, but that doesnt mean I want to have s*x with them. it just means I feel comfortable around them.

Answer 6

haha this girl sounds like me a couple months ago. except I'm 13 and so is my straight friend. I was totally in love with this girl and she didn't know. I told her one day and that led to all sorts of problems but unlike u she wasn't so willing to experiment not that i tried to get her to she just gave off one of those vibes... all we did was like hug and lots of hugging which i think i enjoyed a little too much lol. But I mean i don't like her like that anymore but i still love her to death and we're still best friends. You sound bi-permissive (lots of ppl dont know what it is and when they find out they don't believe it exsists but i do) it's like when you like guys and you've always dated guys but if you had an opportunity to date or do anything with a girl you would try it out. It's not like you're seeking out girls. It's like your straight and a girl who's a good friend comes to you and you try it out. More ppl should be like you in the world... :)

Answer 7

i had the same kind of issue with one of my best friends a year ago.

but she was in your situation. i was all over her constantly & she was the same back.

& when i confronted her with how i felt she claimed that she was straight & that it would never go any farther than friendship.

yady yady yada.

we've been together for ten months now & i cant see myself with anyone else.

& im not & never was attracted to another girl.