My best friend is about to have an abortion for absolutely no reason. help!?

Question

i guess i have two questions here. first i should say that i am very against abortion. i got pregnant at 21 years old, and of course the option was there, but he's 4 years old now and i'm happier than ever. she's 25 years old with a great job. there's no reason she couldnt be a single mom! i think she just doesnt want to have this baby because she's not sure who the father is and she's not done partying yet. so my two questions are: do you think there is any chance i could convince her not to go thru with this abortion? and question TWO is: if she goes through with it, should i continue a relationship with her? just the thought of her doing this makes me sick to my stomach. i've gone over all different options with her.. adoption, open adoption, keeping the baby, etc etc. i've even told her to go to our local pregnancy/womens center to become more informed on everything! advice plz

Answer 1

Honestly, I would stay out of it. It's really not your business. I'm sure it's a very difficult decision for her and emotionally toiling.  You would be a really bad bad friend if you went on & on trying to convince her not to have an abortion.  In fact, she would be within her right to stop being YOUR friend.  If it bothers you so much then perhaps you guys just aren't meant to be friends and you ought to go your separate ways.

Answer 2

i dont think she should have a baby if she is in this frame of mind, She may end up resenting the child because it changed her life. She's obviously not mature enough. Tell her to use better contraceptives next time.

Answer 3

well i think as a friend u should support her through her decision as it is not a easy choice, there are enuf kids in the world hu r brought up in an unloved environment so if shes not ready then bringing a child to the world is selfish, adoption is incredible hard i have seen a few in my career and it is not easy for any1 (especially child when they grow up) and they can often feel rejected, she is a adult so she has 2 do whats right for her, by making her feel bad is not going to help things, at least she is honest enough to say 'i am so not ready for this yet)

up to u if u tlk 2 her again but every1 is entitled to there opinions and views and there is no1 hu has the right to make this decision for her

Answer 4

i think it is her choice what she does and i think you should tell her that you think she shouldnt do it because you could have had one but you didnt and now you are very glad of that descision and you think she will be the same

if she does do it of course you should stay friends with her! that is no reason to spoil a good friendship

you may not be as close as before but stay friends and make sure you support her

Answer 5

She is her own person and unfortunately you cant change her mind.  Its been proven though that the vast majority of people who get an abortion later have problems coping with the choices they have made.  Even Roe (the woman who challenged to supreme court to make abortions legal and won) is now pro life.

I wouldn't break a friendship over this.  Despite her decision I'm sure you like her for a countless of other reasons.  Every human being has flaws and don't shut her out for that decision, it will be her that will have to live with that, not you.

Answer 6

how would you like it if someone forced you to accept something against your will, thereby removing your right to choose?

as previous poster asked:  will you be there to look after the baby, help pay for it, help raise it, pay for the education,. compensate for the emotional love and support the mother may not be able to give it?  pro-lifers rarely are.  in my experience, they're quick to push girls to change their minds about abortion but equally quick to talk them into shunting the responsbility for the baby onto someone else.  you're telling her "if you want to be my friend, you have to totally change your life in a direction you don't want to go".

i would have a much better view of pro-lifers if they were to approach these girls with a solid adoption contract in hand:  "do not abort your baby.  *I* will adopt it."

if her exercising her right to choose means you break up your friendship, then i'm afraid that says a lot more about you than about her and you need to do a lot of soul-searching.

Answer 7

I think you need to stick to your guns with regard to your morals and ethics.  If this is how you believe, then you should not be friends with people who do not share those beliefs.  That is like me being friends with a murderer when I believe that murder is wrong.  It doesn't work.  You just have to tell her that your belief system does not allow you to associate with people who take innocent lives.

Answer 8

call a no-kill clinic you need expert advice and she can always give the baby up for adoption. So many good people are on waiting lists for a child because they cannot have one of their own.  Pray for the baby, who has every right to be born, without its mother killing it off for convenience.  She needs to take the responsibility for her partying and grow up.

Answer 9

if she isn't ready to have this baby, then do not try to make her keep it. are you going to be there to help her every day and night  and while she goes out to party? having a baby is life changing and shes just not ready yet. and maybe she doesnt want to raise a child alone without a father in its life. it would be your decision whether or not you want to continue a relationship with her. If you are truly her friend you should stand by her side. Adoption would be a better, more humane solution, but some people just would rather abort.

Answer 10

Essentially the choice is hers alone. I'm with you and am VERY much against abortion. If you don't think that you can look her in the face after she has it done, then don't try to keep a friendship with her. Tell her that too.

Answer 11

Abortion is a personal choice.  If you are really her friend, explain to her how you feel and then do not speak of it again.  Friends can disagree about things, but a true friend will always be there when needed.

Answer 12

she has the choice to abort the pregnancy. I am not a person who could personally get an abortion but  Iam not against other people choosing to do it...this is a free country and they have a choice But she is probably upset about having no idea who the daddy is and just mentally unprepared for motherhood. If I would have had to be a single mother when I got pregnant, I probably would have put my kid up for adoption due to my mental health. but fortanitly I have my husband and a good family to support anything. Maybe she isnt mentally prepard to have a child depend on her completly and dosent want the heartache of carrying a child for 9 months and then to give it away. Hope all goes well for you both

Answer 13

If I may share my opinion on the matter... For your first question, I know there is a chance for you to convince her not to go for abortion. After all, you are best of friends right? You of all other people knows her best. I mean she might be confused or something, if you abandon her now...could you take possibly take the guilt? I also know that you are a caring person that you even think of the unborn child's welfare. I know you can handle it, you of all people should know how it feels to be pregnant. I can't say that I know the feeling of being pregnant because for a fact, I am male and I am single... lol. But anyways, I hope and pray that both of you do the right thing.

Answer 14

It sounds like she is embarassed because she does not know the father. Its a horrible reason to end a life, but there is not a whole lot you can do if she has made up her mind. Try showing her the abort 73.org website. It has videos of abortion and women who have had abortions write there feelings on the topic. I hope you can help her choose a different option.

Answer 15

You have to stick to your beliefs.  Doing so will sometimes cost us friends or even family for that matter.  We have to stand up for what we believe though.    If you believe something and know in your heart that its right, don't back away from it just becasue the other person doesn't agree or will get angry with you.  Having said that, there are many opportunities and situations in our lives where we are able to talk with others about our experiences and beliefs and try to convince them that what they are doing is not right and why.

Everyone in todays society goes with the "be supportive theory" and thinks you should just go along with whatever others are doing and not judge the situation or with the idea that since they aren't personally doing it themselves its ok to to be around others or be friends with them if they do.  I believe thats wrong.  We are not to judge other people as far as whether they go to Heaven or h**l but, we are suppose to judge whaqts right or wrong and be of encouragement to others about doing the right thing and not sitting back and being supportive of them when they are doing the wrong thing.  If we turn a blind eye to it then we aren't doing any better than they are. Talk with her about how scared you were when you had your child but, now how much of a blessing your son is to you.  If people can't respect that you are standing up for what you believe (good moral character and doing what is right) and they get mad and don't want to be your friend or around you anymore then so what, at least you did what was right and stood up for it.

Answer 16

if she is not open to any other options then that is her decision. it sounds like you are not going to be able to convince her otherwise. i have a friend who got an abortion not to long ago, and i too was totally against it. i have worked with children for the past five years of my life, and i just couldnt imagine ever getting an abortion. but this is her decision, and she has to do what she believes is best for her. if you are really her friend then you have to stand by her and be there for her no matter what. you can tell her you dont believe what she is doing is right, but i dont suggest abandoning her. you 2 may just agree to disagree on this topic. my friend and i did. hope that helps!

Answer 17

your friend obviously has her reasons, i dont think its a decision any woman would make for the fun of it. at the end of the day its not your opinion that matters its her life its affecting are you going to help her bring the baby up, get up in the middle of the night to feed it etc. and if you really are her best friend be there for her and stop forcing your opinions on her and why should you end your friendship because of it thats ridiculos.

Answer 18

Fortunately or unfortunately we live in a society that allows choice.  If you really still want to be her friend, you can support her right to decide without having to support the decision itself.  For you, it might be no reason but it is her decision to make.  You have done a lot to help her make another choice but there isn't much more you can do.  And what if she has this baby and then is a neglectful mother?  

As for remaining her friend, that is your decision.  I personally might have to take a step back and give it a break.

Answer 19

If you are a true friend, you will support her no matter what she decides.  You have done the responsible thing by telling her of all the options, however, in the end it is her decision.  She is an adult.  It is your choice to be her friend just as it is her choice to have an abortion.

Answer 20

i think she is scared that she has to put the partying and childish years behind her and take on responsibility for a whole new life. and it could be embarassing that she got pregnant and she doesnt even know WHO she got pregnant with.                                                                                                               therefore, i will answer ur questions: ONE---> u shud let her know that there r many other options out there but DONT push her or pressure her into doing anything. u need to be a real friend and support her and her decisions. TWO---> if she goes thru with the abortion (which wud b rle terrible, cuz i m against abortions as well), then u shudnt end ur friendship! sure, she did something terrible. but u need to understand that she has to make her own decisions and u need to support those decisions. put urself in her shoes.

best choice is that u try to stop her. but remember, DONT PUSH HER. it will take time. let her know that she is making the right choice if she doesnt get an abortion. TELL HER THIS> that she has a great job, shes the perfect age for a child, and most importantly, she has U for support wen things get rough.