My best friend is making me sad?

Question

i have known my husband for almost 8 years, we have been living together the past 4, we have 2 cats and a dog, -our family. i can not work, and he makes minimum wage. i have always seen him as my best friend, we do everything together, but lately things have changed.

since i have not been working, he has not helped at all. every day i wake up to pick up his trail of negligence, clean more, and wait for him to come home to leave another trail. i cook, clean, everything, i only ask him to clean the kitty litter once a week, and i must nag him about 4 more days until he does it, then b*****s cuz hes tired. What should i do, i love him, but I'm not his mom. i pay his bills, clean his clothes.and when i go on my rage, and tell him im not doing anything, the house gets out of control, until i clean it days later. he just dont care. i asked him to day ,"why cant you put the pillows back on the couch when your done"(our bed rooms to hot, we slepted on the couch last night)- he said"why do i have to do things that don't matter,"-- don't matter? i have picked up his pillows and blanket everyday we don't sleep in the bed room. why is he being so distant.

he was my best friend, we even cooked dinner together, i cook he clean etc.. but now im so lonely, he even started interrupting me when I'm speaking, as if my ideas are not as important as his. we still have fun times, but it seems as long as he dont have to pick up or clean aanything we get along, i ask him to pick up his socks, i get an attitude. please someone help. im losing my best friend.

Answer 1

You sound as if you are lonely. Maybe now you are not working he somehow feels like its his wifes duty to keep the house, and maybe if you married into that then thats fine, but for it to change because you longer work is out of order.

You should sit down and tell him just how you feel, and that you feel taken for granted with the house, and want things how they used to be, if he could cook and clean before when he had a job and you had a job, im sure he can still do it.

He may be thinking that you do nothing all day, and you should keep the house clean. Relationships have to have communication, so talk to him, what harm can it do. He can decide to change and help you out, or he decided not to and you can then decide whats best for you, move on? or put up with it?

Good luck in whatever you decide to you x

Answer 2

He is depressed once he finds something to do that makes him feel like getting up & pays him & gives him things to look forward to he will have energy again. If he needs coaching you can contact me for info. Sometimes we get stuck in a rut. He is just in a rut & you are with him. It is just temporary so in the meantime just pick up his socks cause he is doing the best he can & it is easier to pick them up then to feel resentful & make him feel bad. If he can get to feeling good again you to are going to be fine this is not that bad...he can't make you sad..only you can make you sad so choose to feel happy & he will feel better & it will all work out.

Answer 3

Why be friends with someone who is going to put you down?That is not a true friend .  

Answer 4

stop doing the cleaning until their is no more dishes or clothes for him of course clean ur own stuff but be careful not to make urself to distant cause u dont want him to leave u. but be sure to stress to him what you are doin

Answer 5

He goes to work and makes the money. That's his mindset. Try to think how he feels. And he can't read your mind. You have to tell him how you feel. In a nice way, because starting a fight about it won't get you anywhere.