My best friend wants me to help her tell her parents she's pregnant?

Question

How can I be a supportive friend and how can I help her tell her parents? She's 16 and she was coerced into having s*x with her boyfriend. She regrets it, but she wants to keep the baby. Her parents are pretty understanding people, but how can I help support her as a friend when she tells her parents?

Answer 1

just be there for her. no offense, but with you not having gone through the same thing she's going through (i'm assuming), it's probably best not to tell her what to say or get personally involved in the actual conversation with her parents. that's between your friend and her family.

since i don't know either her or her family, i would say just give her the emotional support she needs.

let her cry on your shoulder if she needs to; encourage her to tell her parents the truth, not only about her pregnancy but about being coerced. make sure she knows that you'll be her friend no matter what, and you respect and support her decision. tell her that her parents are still her parents, and they'll love her no matter what. even though they might be upset, they will still love her anyway, and they will help her get through this.

Answer 2

Just be there for her and speak up on her behalf. I think that is what she would want you to do for her as her friend.  

Answer 3

One option is to tell her this has nothing to do with me i do not want to get invovled..

but you want to help.

But i dont think you should tell her parents its her problem, her parents, her issue she has to take care of, if shes going to have a baby at 16 she should at least be able to talk to her parents?

Answer 4

tell the parent with a gun and tell them they better except him and ur friend is a ****.

Answer 5

I don't think you should be there.  Let her know she can come to your house after she tells them or that you will come over after she tells them, but this is a very personal thing and she's the one who is pregnant and she should tell them.  If she's old enough to get pregnant she has to be old enough to face the situation.  Do let her know you care about her and will be there for her.  But don't be right there.  It's her deal.

Answer 6

Just be there for her, before and afterwards. Talk to her, listen to her, give her advice if you can; tell her jokes, make her laugh, make this situation the best possible. She's pregnant; she's going to need you there as a friend. Even though it was coerced, she still let it get that for. Therefore, she should tell them. Not to mention, her being honest with them will make them respect her in the long run. Before she says anything, ask her if she wants you to be there when she actually tells them. Make sure she realizes that they will be upset, disappointed, and probably angry at first, but any good parent would accept it and support her decision, as well as try to do their best to help her out. However, since she is the mother, she should be ready to accept responsibility for child.

Good luck to you, your friend, and the baby.

Answer 7

Just go with her for moral support.  She is going to have to actually tell them.  She just wants you there to try to curb any outbursts from her parents - which is understandable - she's really nervous about what they will say!  I would stay quiet for most of the conversation, but still be there for your friend.

Good luck!

Answer 8

honestly, i just think you should sit there, and not say much while she is telling her parents.

actions speak louder than words, so just being there for her is a huge help.  

Answer 9

Whether you tell them or she does the end result is going to be the same!  She has to face her parents some time.

Answer 10

Just be with her right there.

Console her.

This reminds me of The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

Answer 11

First I wonder what you mean by coerced. Do you mean raped? Or do you mean like he bugged her over and over until she felt pressured and caved? Secondly, go with her when she tell her parents, ther are less likely to blow a fuse in front of other people and this will give them a few minutes to take it in without blowing up. Just sit next to her and hold her hand, don't talk unless she asks you to or the parents ask you something. If they start getting abusive (verbally or physically) Simply tell her its time to go and take her to your house. Your mom will be supportive, because she will be happy it isn't you who is pregnant.

Answer 12

First of all, she wasn't coerced into having s*x.  She made the decision just like the guy did.  Perhaps the boy was the one persistently pressing the issue, but she should have been equally persistent at saying "no".  There is never an excuse to put blame on one person more than the other unless it was a situation where she was raped.

All you have to do is go with her.  Sit with her.  That's all the support she really needs.  If she starts to chicken out, just tell her that the sooner she spits it out, the better things will be.

*No.  She was not raped.  Even though he pressured her, she still agreed to it.  She could have continued to say no or simply broken up with him.  Unless he literally held her down and forcefully had s*x with her while she continued to say no, she wasn't raped.  "Rape" is a very strong word that should not be tossed around so casually.  She chose to lay down and have s*x with him.  It was her choice.  Now she has to live with the consequences.  It doesn't make her a **** by any means.  It just makes her yet another teen girl that gave into pressure from her boyfriend.

Answer 13

well i suggest that you have her set her parents down and tell them what happened. you can be there for support but if they ask u to leave u must do so.

Answer 14

watch juno.

good stuff.

Answer 15

If you guys are kind of close, then maybe you could hold her hand or something like that when she's telling her parents. After she's done she might start to cry so give her a big hug for finally getting it off her chest! I think she should just come out and say that she's pregnant because it would not be wise to let her parents find out on their own!  

Answer 16

Goodness, I'm sorry to hear about that.  But I am happy that she is deciding to keep the baby.  I was in a similar situation with a friend in college about 4 years ago.  She was raped by her "boyfriend" and she became pregnant.  She was terrified to tell her parents and asked me to come along for support.  It was quite an experience filled with a lot of emotions.  When she told her parents, I held her hand and her parents immediately gathered her up in their arms and sobbed with her.  They offered all the support they could and I got to witness the birth of this baby, who is now a beautiful 3 year old little girl.

Pray about it before you go, if you are a praying person.  Ask that God soften the hearts of her parents and give her courage.  Be there for her.  If she wants to hold your hand, let her.  If she wants you to talk for her, then do so.  If she just wants your presence there, then just be there.  I would also be a bit concerned as she said she was "coerced".  She most likely had s*x against her will...which is still rape.  This is a very hard thing to deal with alone.  You are a caring friend to be there for her like that.  God bless you and I pray things go well.

Answer 17

just console her