My best friends brother? (sorry if this is in the wrong section)?

Question

i was at my best friend toms house on monday, and liek we are REALLY close. like inseperable close.

everyone thinks that eventually we are going to end up together.

anyway, tom was upstrais and i was downstairs with his older brother matthew. matthew and me have always been good friends too, and he always cuddles me and dances with me at parties and talks to me and drgas me away from tom to tell me things.

we were on the sofa, laughing at something on tv.

then he pulled me nearer to him, and put his arm round me. he moved me so that i was leaning on his chest, and started stroking my hair.

he asked me if i thought he was hot, and i said yes.

and i asked do you think i am, and he said "bloody stunning, i'd date you".

and i said "oooer".

and he said "well, it would depend on what tom would say, and what answer you'd give me"

and then he leant in, and kissed me really lightly on the lips.

and i like him :S

what do i do?

should i stay clear? or tell my best friend?

Answer 1

Be honest.

Answer 2

Tell your friend.  Yep, wrong section.  This is adoption.  You might get better answers in the teen/adolescent  section.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

Go for it...........if Tom is just a friend he shouldn't care!

Answer 4

I tink your freind really likes YOU and he will be very hurt.  He will not be your friend anymore.

Answer 5

Please ask your friend what he thinks. And then wait a week and ask him again, at least a couple of times. Have a few long, heartfelt discussions about it, because if you are "inseparable close" then you don't want what will probably be a passing fling with his brother to come between you -- and chances are good that it will.

I was involved in slightly similar thing years ago (okay, decades <grin>) when I was a teen. I had a good male friend who was several years older. We were close, but by no means inseparable. Then at a party I met his younger brother (a lot closer to my age) and we really hit it off and fell in love. And I have to say it was never the same with my friend, his brother. He had romantic feelings for me but had taken everything really slowly, out of respect for the age difference. I was oblivious (partly because at 15 I just was, and partly because he hid it) and I hurt him without meaning to. He and I weren't as close after that, and for awhile it was even hard for him with his brother -- and this in a situation where, unlike yours, the younger brother and I were much closer in age and better suited.

So I'd suggest that you seriously consider whether it would be worth losing your close friendship over this. A brother is really important, and if your friend has ANY romantic feelings for you AT ALL (and chances are he does, unless he is g*y, and maybe even then), then he will likely feel very hurt and lost, even if he doesn't admit it. So just be really honest with him and give him time and space to think and feel about this before you do anything with his brother (who sounds like a great guy also, btw).

Good luck!

(and um, yeah, not sure how this relates to adoption, unless one of them is adopted. If your friend is adopted, then you should be even more sensitive to his feelings of rejection)

Answer 6

Wow. He sounds kind of hot :P I dunnoo...if you really like him you might ask Tom.