My bestfriend came out g*y?

Question

I'm a girl and my best guy friend came out g*y openly yesterday. It wasn't any surprise. But about 3 months ago him and I did sexual things. I asked him how long he had known he is actually g*y and he said about 11 months. After that I didn't mension the night of sexual action because I didn't want him to have to make up excuses. But why did he do sexual things with me, when he knew he's g*y? Why didn't he stop me? (he was just as into it as i was). I felt that night meant something, not a relationship. But something. I feel used/betrayed. But I don't know if I should?

Answer 1

Do not feel used. At the time he probably was still figuring out his sexuality and didnt know what to do. So do not be mad at him just support him.

Answer 2

dont be mad at your friend he might have still been figuring out this sexuilty

Answer 3

Well since you're his best friend, he would tell you when he *knew* that he was g*y. At this time, he may have been confused or may have thought he was bi. If he'd known for sure that he was g*y then, he probably weould have told you. After all, you're his best friend! :)

Answer 4

There are lots and lots and lots of people who have known their whole lives they're g*y, but have been denying it. Seems like he was still trying to convince himself (or others, which is also entirely logical) he wasn't g*y. Believe me, people can do craaaazzyyy stuff when they find out they're not straight.

Answer 5

I really wanted to answer this before I went to work, but didn't have the time.

There is this young man who I am very much in love with. He is just as in love with me.

About a year and a half ago we woke up one morrning and realized we were in love with each other. That is when everything is suppose to be wonderful, right?

Wrong.

The problem is that he never thought he would be in love with another man. And the thought of it scared the s**+*t out of him. He backed completely out of my life. He fell in love three times with three different women. He even went as far as to ask one to marry him. Strangely enough, none of these relationships worked out. Once the initial thrill of the chase was over and it was time to settle down into an ongoing relationship he found himself having erectile problems at all of 19 yrs old.

Why?

Because he's g*y. He tried his best to convince himself that he's not, that he could be in love with a woman, but just couldn't do it.

Last Saturday he comes over to my house thinking he's going to borrow $200 from me, and the next thing I know he starts confessing. He tells me he's never gotten over me. He tells me that's why he can't keep a girlfriend. He says that's why he and the last young woman he fell in love with never stood a chance. The truth is he was in love with me each and every time he decided finding the "perfect woman" was what he needed to do to get over me.

So after this young man all but ripped my heart out and handed it to me, he goes on to tell me that he can't be with me because he can't let his family down. This idiot actually looked me in the eyes and said that he would rather be miserable with a woman than dissappoint his family. The ridiculous thing is his family has pretty much figured he was g*y for a long time.

So after 14 months of running away, he's still running away becuase he's too scared to face who he really is. A young g*y man. And the saddest thing about it is that the one person he keeps running from is the one person who could most help him through this. How sad is that?

In the answer up above mine, Flo said people do some crazy things while they try to come to terms with their sexuality.

Was it right for him to allow three different young women to fall in love with him just so he could try to get over his feelings for another man? Of course it wasn't.

But denial has no conscience.

But enough about my problems. Let's talk about yours.

It is not at all uncommon for people to test and retest the waters while every ounce of their being is screaming, "No, Not me. I can't be g*y." Very often they find themselves trying to convince thierselves over and over again that they're straight Some even end up married.

You could feel betrayed by your friend. Or you could just cheerish it as a night between the two of you when the tides came together.

If he just came out of the closet, he could probably use a friend like you right now.

And guess what?

You probalbly have bragging rights. You may very well be the last young lady he'll ever be with. I nailed him right at the end, and he was pretty d**n good.

If I was him, I'd send the guys your way for a thumbs up. LOL!

I hope this helped.

Be his friend. God knows you can never have too many "Real" ones :)