My bestfriend is a GAMBLER. How can I help her?

Question

My bestfriend is gambling her life away. Six years ago, she had +500,000 in her bank account. Now, she owes $200,000. She has a business and earns good money. At home, she lives a simple life (no extravagance) with her aging mom. Unfortunately, she has a dark secret. The past 6 years, she has turned into a high-roller gambling away thousands per hand on black jack. She is now very dependent on gambling and she recognizes her addiction but she ABSOLUTELY does not want to sign out from the casinos nor does she want to attend Gamblers Anonymous meetings. She also made me promise not to tell any of our friends and family. I feel pressured every time she talks about her bills. I don't know what to do. I see her situation getting worse. She tells me that she hates gambling and wish she can stop---BUT that she cannot because of her bills. She is always hopeful because she counts the occasional winnings but she does not count the 'more-frequent' losses. HELP!! Any suggestions?

Answer 1

I see well try to make her think of things that are important to her apart from gambling or keep her busy dont give her time to gamble but watever you do do dont lend her money she has to suffer first to learn her lesson hash I know. anyway god bless you for trying

Answer 2

Gambling addiction can be worse than drug addiction. I don't know where she lives but it sounds like it's near casinos. Maybe if she moved to a place where there aren't any casinos it would help.

Answer 3

By not telling anyone, she has turned you into a codependant.  Don't enable her habit any longer.  I hate to use buzz words, but they fit this case.  Get her friends and family together for an intervention.

Answer 4

I hate to say it, but there is nothing that you can do to help her, if she doesn't want it. She will have to hit rock bottom before she gets the help she needs. Be there for her emotionally, but DO NOT give her any money. That would just be feeding the beast.

Answer 5

If she won't even attend a gamblers anonymouse meeting then she doesn't want to help herself...she is contradicting herself. Maybe it's time for an intervention.

Answer 6

You CAN'T help her if she's unable to see that she has a disease! Don't lend that one a dime! Sorry,,  ;-(=

Answer 7

There really isn't much left to do. She is $200k in debt. She'll be forced to stop soon enough. Just be there for when she runs out of money (don't ever lend her any).

I gamble for a living and thus I've seen thousands of degenerates. You can't reason with them. You can't do anything. The only time they stop is when they can't gamble any more.  

One thing that I might try is to convince them to keep records. Help them do it even and make sure they are honest about it. At the end of a month or two sit down and look at the records. It might take 6 months but eventually it will be undeniable that they are losing a lot. Thing is if she that far in debt she'll probably be forced to stop in about a year anyway.

Answer 8

The only thing you can do is NOT lend her money and pray she will get some help soon. Until she is ready to stop gambling...she won't. Unfortunately, many people don't see they have a gambling habit until it's way to late.

Answer 9

tell her mom

Answer 10

if you think that gambling is putting her at risk (mentally, emotionally, financially) then you need to tell her family and friends. you shouldn' t help her keep this secret if it'll hurt her. you need to set up an intervention. show her that lots of people care about her and are there to support her. introduce her to new hobbies, introduce her to new people. get her mind off of gambling. i know it's easier said than done.

MAKE her go to GA meetings. go with her.

good luck!