My bf's mom found out we were having s*x!?

Question

Homecoming night, me and my boyfriends one year anniversary. I excited, he's excited, and I was ready ... if you know what I mean. I was a virgin and he understood that. We had been talking about for a while so everything was planned, and everything was perfect ... at least we thought. So, we left the school right after the game, obviously we didn't go to the party after. We went to his house, into his basement room and he had everything set up very romantically. And everything happened just the way he planned. After wards we laid there for awhile, and I had noticed that underneath me I was bleeding. He told me it was ok and he said that it was no big deal. So I got up and washed up in his bathroom. I put my clothes on and he took the sheet of the bed, through it on the floor and said, " Lets get you home". Apparently while he was driving me home, his mother looked through his room. She saw the condom packet, and freaked! She called me stupid and other things, like a s**t, and said if I didn't tell my mom. She would tell her for me. Yes, my religious-stricked-mother! Who will kill me if she finds that out. I don't know what to do. What do I do?

Answer 1

Well, first of all, it is your choice to have s*x or not. You need to tell both parents that you are educated and were safe and that it's your body and your choice. When you're 18, you will be a full adult in the eyes of the court and you can make your own choices.

And the blood you had was because he broke your hymen. Virgins often still have their hymen intact (although many do not because it can break from strenuous activity or even just swimming) and it usually bleeds at the first sexual intercourse.

You should probably be more careful about cleaning up the evidence though in the future, if your parents disapprove of it. You might also not be allowed to do it in your homes, unless you sneak around, so you should be very careful getting caught or you might end up in trouble. You might do what I did and go camping with him for some time alone. lol Or rent a motel room once in a while so you don't have to sneak around. Best suggestions I've got, although I guarantee you that s*x is much better, at least it was for me, once you get out of your parents' home and into one of your own. Then you can feel free and not nervous or scared of being caught. In the meantime, it is up to you whether or not you want to continue having s*x.

As for telling your mother.. well, you might need to. Sit her down and tell her you've made a decision - you want to be sexually active. She probably will freak out, but you can tell her you're making your own decisions and she can either help you be safe about it or pretend you don't want to anymore. You might want to talk to her about seeing a gynacologist for birth control and to check everything out. You can get free birth control from some facilities as well that your boyfriend could take you to.

Since you already have done it, I personally would suggest that you keep the relationship with your boyfriend intact even though your parents may be surprised and unhappy with your decision. They are just trying to protect you. If his mom really will tell your mom, I suggest you tell your mom first or your mom might get more angry since you didn't tell her. Either way, it has been done so you two are now sexually active and if you choose to stay sexually active, then that is your choice and just be safe about it. Me and my fiance had to sneak around for years to get a few moments alone to errr.. enjoy eachother intimately. Hehehe..

Good luck, be safe.

Answer 2

kinda funny how you're the s**t but she says nothing about her own son right? I'd talk to your mom, chances are she won't freak out as much as you think. you two were safe, and he wasn't forceful or anything, and you discussed everything together. if I were you... I'd try to distance myself a little if you can, it's going to be hard to since you lost it to him but obviously his mom's just rude amongst other things, and you can't be with someone whose mother is like that.

Answer 3

It's your body and your life.  She'll have to get over it.  If you don't want to tell her, tell bf's mother to go ahead.

Your bf's mother should be glad that you used a condom!  And how do you know what she called you?  If she called you a stupid s**t, then your boyfriend is an insensitive jerk for telling you.  If she called you that to your face, then she doesn't sound like a very nice person.

Do you mean religious-STRICT'-mother?

Your grammar and spelling are atrocious.

Answer 4

oh dear.... I am so sorry!

well deny deny deny!

say you were going to but didnt because you realized you were on your period(hence the blood). I really dont know what else to say, this is tough.

if all else fails, just tell her that you are in love and want to spend the rest of your life with him. tell her it doesnt feel like a sin to y ou because you are being pure to him.

good luck

Answer 5

Well your age would help alot.

However I think if she is going to tell your mum you are better telling her yourself. Its always better when the news comes from the person and not from the grape vine.

Alternatively you can deny all knowledge and say that the boy's mum doesn't like you because you are dating her son.

Now I know your 17, you have done nothing wrong, it wasn't illegal and your boyfriends mother is probably more shocked her own son was having s*x and would rather blame you than him.

Ignore her but do tell your mum, if you explain you love your boyfriend and that you used protection then you have done absolutely nothing wrong and that you took a mature and sensible approach to it.

Good Luck

Answer 6

Hi

face it, tell the truth to your mom

better than yuor parents knows from othe people and also they may help you to evaulate the boy carefully becuase sometimes when you in love you are blinded

Answer 7

First off, it's 2008...Parents should be a little more aware.

Second, the fact that you used protection should be a sign that you were responsible enough in making your decision.

Your bf's mom has you in a place where there is only one decision...you have to tell your mother.  Even if you lie and tell your bf's mom that you told yours, she'll most likely go behind your back.

There's no great answer here, but you have to own up to what you've done, even though you feel there was nothing wrong with it.

Good luck.

Answer 8

tell your bfs mom you told your mom, and you mom dosnt like to talk about it.

or somthing

Answer 9

  I think it would be better if you told your mom rather then his mom. I'm sorry that is a crappy sitution.

Answer 10

Wow. You've got yourself into a messy situation. You two should have been more sneaky. Well there's nothing you can really do about your boyfriend's mom cause what's happened has already happened and you two having s*x can't be changed. But when it comes to your mom, you should probably tell her. Even if she freaks out, after a little while she'll finally realize that you were the mature one by coming to her and telling her about it. And it's better that she hears it from you, rather than someone else.

Answer 11

try telling his mom this cry if you can lol if she isn't listening then YOU need to tell your mom it's better to hear it from your mouth. trust me am a Persian girl my family is worse  

Answer 12

Tell her that you guys didn't do anything and that your a virgin. Also you should tell your mother but that kind of stuff is really personal. I wouldn't tell mine. Maybe you can make your mother steer clear of her? Anyways you should try to calm down and explain to his mom that you weren't doing anything and that you take it offensively at the things she said. You don't have to tell your mother but i would if she's serious about telling your mom her way and not the truthful way.

Answer 13

Wow..she has no right to tell your mom. That's between you and your mom (if you want her to know). If your a s**t then her son likes ho's. s***w his mom, you tell your mom 1st (before she does). What an akward position to be in. Good Luck.

Answer 14

I'd call her bluff. Never could I picture a mother telling another mother that her daughter had s*x with her son. Rediculous. This would make the mom look like a huge *****- which she is.. but it's as if the boyfriend's mom is assuming that you have s*x all the time- now let's say this wasn't your first time- what makes the boyfriend's mom think your mom doesn't know by now?  see what i mean.... i'd call her bluff. don't say anything, what's the worst that could happen- she mention something, drops to your mom how she thinks your a s**t and your mother flip back out on her..  i'd call that a win.

i'd really call her bluff.

Answer 15

If you thought you were mature enough to have s*x, then surely you are mature enough to face the consequences like an adult. Crying, yelling, and screaming over your punishment will only reinforce their perception of you as a child.

Suck it up, you did the crime, now do the time.

Answer 16

WOW!! Well I can kinda relate I only been with one person and we're married now. Sit down and have a talk with his mother. Be honest and let her know what happened. Ask her why she's mad?? Ask her to put her self in your shoes. She's just shocked right now that her baby had s*x. I have a religious mother like crazy Religious and if I was in your shoes I would kiss her a s s!! Tell her your situation. If she is just being a ****** just deny everything to your mother. Even if you have to say he's cheating on you. I wish I knew how old you were because maybe you can tell your mother. But if she tells your mother tell your mom that she's just jealous of the relationship and that your really embarrass because it was your period and she just wouldn't listen to you. Let her know that you feel SO embarrassed that she's calling and thinking that you would actually have s*x. Tell your boyfriend if he doesn't tell his mother to chill then the relationship is over.

Answer 17

Doesn't sound like you have many options. It would be best if you told her, hearing it from someone else might make her freak more.

All I can say is when your mother is screaming at you, just nod your head. Don't blow up or yell, that will only make things worse. Also, try and talk to her. She was a teenager once too and she probably remembers how you feel.

If things don't go well, just remember everything passes. It might seem bad now but things always get better.

Answer 18

well would you like this angry womans version of what happened, or yours. plus your mom would hate to find out that way, you have to tell her before your bfs mom beats you to it! Remember that s*x comes with consequences, and this is one of them. Its scary, but it will be over in a couple days. courage my dear.

Answer 19

all i hav to say

is tell her yourself because your mom will appreciate that more,and u might be in trouble for a while,but u willl get through it i kno u will