My bf admited hes an alcoholic?

Question

ok weve had a big chat to night,and he admited he thinks hes an alcoholic .i kind of suspected it but he was really upset and said this is the first time hes admited to himself and im the only 1 who nos.he says its been worrying him for a year(we have been together 2 n half years)hes 23 and his dad and uncle are both alocholics.he has agreat job makes good money and is a pleasent guy.when he drinks usually at weekends he passes out,he says he doesnt no when to stop and when he has 1 drink he cant stop.he has even drove his van home drunk after an arguement and has made arangements with me and passed out so he couldnt even answer his phone.he gave it up for 6 weeks and then his dad left his mum and he went back on it! so what i really need at this moment in time is where to go from here?e says he wants to see sum1 but not a phycologist mabbae the aa?please dont tell me to split with him cause im not going to hes stood by me nhard times and im willng to go through the motions.please help thanks xxxx

Answer 1

AA is an excellent step . The thing with going to AA as appose to seeing a counsellor/psychologist is you talk to ppl who have actually been thru it to and not just read/studied it

there is no real need for an intervention as he seems to want to be helpped and isnt in denial about the situation

Good on you for staying with him , He will very much need your support. But make sure you are not to soft. You need to draw a semi firm but supportive line

Answer 2

The first thing he needs to do, obviously, is get some kind of professional help. Find out where he can attend local AA meetings or even set up an intervention for him. He could also go to rehab if he has the money for it.

Answer 3

please understand you are actaully in very good standing. the fact that he admitted he is an alcoholic is hugge and the first and most important step in getting healthy. going to aa meetings can be very helpful but you may want to consider seeing a physcologist to further understand why he drinks. hope this helps!

Answer 4

Your boyfriend admitting he is an alcoholic is a great start. i too am an alcoholic and around the same age. the worst thing you could do is to not stand by his side. Alcoholics aren't bad people we are sick people trying to get well. My suggestion is to suggest to your bf that he attend a meeting of A.A (you can go along with him for support if you choose) when i found A.A i could identify with other people that were experiencing what i was and that has helped me to not pick up a drink for 16 months.  

Answer 5

so, what's your question?   Go with him to AA meetings

Answer 6

Been their myself, the best thing to do is to try and organise things to fill the time at the weekends together,even going for a pub lunch but leaving together you are in it together and as he has admitted he has this problem it would appear he wants to go down a different route to his father.All he has to do is limit himself to x amount of drinks or drink soft drinks firstly and later on start drinking but you can do this together.I used to drink 7 days a week and i would drink till i dropped on the weekends,i rarely go out drinking now i prefer the gym.I still drink but i limit myself to 5>6 pints and only take enough money for that,good luck feel free to email me if you want

Answer 7

to be honest... if he was an alcoholic you would have seen it before he admitted.

i don't think he's a full blown alki yet.

but now that you've talked.. time to keep him from destroying his life.

too young to be acting the loser..    time to get motivated.

AA doesn't help..  you can go there drunk.

time for hard love instead and some real live understanding and making it happen between you two.

and a doctor.

Answer 8

well if he admitted this it is for sure the first step in helping himself . the only one that can make up his mind is him , now you can try to put a little help here and their and explain how bad he is making you feel and how you don't want anything to happen to him ,and yes he needs a little professional help .

just sit in on a couple of AA meetings once he hears the dramatic stories of how they ruined their lives maybe he will want more out of life and stop drinking . i truly wish you both the best in life and good luck i mean that

Answer 9

At least he has admitted that he has a problem. Check out this link - http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/ They are the experts who will be able to advise him a lot better. Good luck to your boyfriend (and you too) as it will be a long and hard road to recovery.  

Answer 10

Many people overdo in their early 20s. 80% of them quit or learn to moderate on their own, no treatment, no meetings.

"One recent study found that 80% of all alcoholics who recover for a year or more do so on their own, some after being unsuccessfully treated. When a group of these self-treated alcoholics was interviewed, 57% said they simply decided that alcohol was bad for them. Twenty-nine percent said health problems, frightening experiences, accidents, or blackouts persuaded them to quit. Others used such phrases as "Things were building up" or "I was sick and tired of it." Support from a husband or wife was important in sustaining the resolution."

Treatment of Drug Abuse and Addiction -- Part III, The Harvard Mental Health Letter, October 1995.

AA has a 5% success rate, the same as quitting on your own. The difference is that many who find AA unhelpful end up worse off than when they first got there. Several studies show the ineffectiveness of AA:

1) Dr. Brandsma found that A.A. increased the rate of binge drinking, and

2) Dr. Ditman found that A.A. increased the rate of rearrests for public drunkenness, and

3) Dr. Walsh found that "free A.A." made later hospitalization more expensive, and

4) Doctors Orford and Edwards found that having a doctor talk to the patient for just one hour was just as effective as a whole year of A.A.-based treatment.

5) Dr. George E. Vaillant, the A.A. Trustee, found that A.A. treatment was completely ineffective, and raised the death rate in alcoholics. No other way of treating alcoholics produced such a high death rate as did Alcoholics Anonymous.

1) http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-effe...

2) http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-effe...

3) http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-effe...

4) http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-effe...

5) http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-effe...

The one thing that AA is very good at is convincing people that they cannot quit on their own even though people have been quitting, or moderating, for thousands of years before AA came along.

If he still needs help, check your local library for books by Jim Christopher (Save OurSelves) or Jack Trimpey (Rational Recovery).