My bf cant stay away from his mum?

Question

my bf who is 24 (me 21,also have an almost 2 yr old 2getha) he just cannot stay away from his mums its driving me crazy he spends more time there than he does here.i have confronted him about it but he just pulls the line sayin im a family person thats what i do...but yet he never has as much time 2 spend with his own son.he is there usually everyday after work for hours usually 2-4 hours..and anyways when i confront him he gets defensive and says he's not there everyday lol but i no he is most times..anyway how on earth can i pull him away get him to spend less time there and more time here..i have also told him that if things don't change then i wont live like this 4eva..things seem ok for a few days maybe a week then it all slips bk into the same routine again.( we have been together for about 2 years,it never really seemed a problem b4 until about 6 months or so ago) if we didnt have a son then i think i would have left a long time ago,but a child makes it all the more complicated.

if any1 has this same problem and solved it PLZ LET ME KNOW lol ;)

thanx in advance 4 the replies

Answer 1

he is a mama's boy just talk to him but dont be mean.

Answer 2

Sounds like you have a momma's boy on your hands.  I think he had a child with you while he was still emotionally immature, so he retreats back to his own mom to try and fill "emotional gaps."  There are 2 avenues you can take...

-Try to take interest in what he does and take your child over to his mom's house so you can all spend time together. Try to get along with his mom, because it's in YOUR CHILD'S BEST INTEREST.

-Leave him.

I suggest the first one.  I don't know how much I can stress this, but having a mother and a FATHER are very important to a child.

Answer 3

You could start by keeping a log of the days and times he visits her for, say, a month.  Then you have that as back up.  Talk to him again about it after this time, tell him that his child is suffering and is becoming increasingly upset by his daddy being away form home so much.  Tell him that you admire his close bond with his parent and it hurts you that his own son is being denied the same bond with HIS parent.  Tell him that things have to change for you to work as a family unit and you're prepared to make one last attempt.  You need to lay down some ground rules - he visits no more than 3 times a week maybe...whatever you think is workable.  Insist he spends quality time with his son or tell him that he will soon be seeing far less of him when you move out and take your child with you.  Could he sometimes take the child round to his mum's with him?

To be honest though, having spent 5 wasted years with a man who put his mother above all else, I'd advise you maybe rethink this relationship.  You and your child need to be number one.  If he refuses to take your opinion into consideration on ANY matter, is he really a guy you want to devote your whole life to for no returns?

Answer 4

SOMETHING happened 6 months ago and you would be smart to find out what it is. if he wont tell you, hire a private detective to follow him, thats what i would do. dont put up with this c**p from him. he says hes a family man?? guess what? he has his own family now. so that's BS. does he have someone else?? how do you know for sure he is where he says he is?? better find out - dont be the last to know and dont be stupid and think that he would never do that. he would. he is VERY yooung to be tied down and my guess he is sowing some wild oats.sorry sweetie, but if you want the truth, you got it here. also.. if you do split from him , make sure you get child support til that kid is 18. its the law.