My bf deliberately didn't invite me to a party because he'd rather dance with other girls?

Question

It's a bit lengthy, but PLEASE read. I desperately need advice.

My bf and I have been together for a little over 2 and a half years. We are both 21. My bf loves to dance and party. He parties fairly often and 98% of the time that he goes to parties, he goes without me, and I actually have no problem with that at all. I'm sure he dances with alot of girls when he parties, and I'm ok with that too. I'm not a huge party goer, so I don't really enjoy the club scene as much as he does.

However, there was an occasion when he and I were at a party together and seemed to be having a great time. The next thing I knew, he asked me if he and I could stop dancing so that he could go dance with another girl. He and I are both great dancers, so I didn't understand why he would do this. It really hurt me and we got into an argument about it. He later apologized and admitted that he was insensitive.

I thought things were fine until one of his cousins threw a party that I really wanted to go to with him a few months later. Turns out he invited some of his friends, but deliberately did not invite me because he didn't want me to get upset when he danced with other girls.

I am hurt by this because I feel that since he parties so often without me on a regular basis, he should not exclude me from a big event like this, just so that he can dance with other females. Why can't he just set one night aside for just me? I am supposed to be his girl, after all.

Do you think I am overreacting? I feel like he has more fun grinding with random females on the dance floor than going to a party with his gf once in awhile, and giving me his full attention. What should I do/say?

Answer 1

REPOST wrong place

Answer 2

There is a difference between a boy friend and a roommate. You have a room mate. Time to find new digs and let him dance the night away.

Answer 3

He's too shady for my liking.  Why don't you show up and crash the party anyway just to see what's really going on??

Answer 4

What boyfriend are you talking about?  You have no boyfriend.  Wake up and smell the coffee.

Answer 5

if he loves u shouldnt be a problem

Answer 6

You've stumbled into the Marriage and More section by mistake. So, your answer is: Marry him. Then you won't be overreacting, and you can deal him misery for days after the party.  

Answer 7

If you were really his girl and I mean this, he would have no interest in dancing with other woman, or other women period. He would have invited to you to the parties and past parties. A man whom has nothing to hide and is proud of his woman, will let you be there for it all. Sounds to me like this guy is very sketchy. 1st of all, he isn't inviting you to parties..makes me believe that there is more going on. Sure he is a partier but you should at least feel welcome to attend any time you want to. 2nd of all, he is drinking. And booze leads to a bunch of problems. He may just want to dance and have a great time, but it will always lead to more.

You should be demanding a lot more respect from this guy more so you should have more self respect then you do. Set one night aside? If a man loves the woman that he is with, he will want to see her every night. He will want to spend as much time with her as he can. He will want to see her day and night and not care so much about getting it on with other females.

Open your eyes and see what is really going on. Your okay with him dancing with other girls, in a drinking situation when you aren't around..I would of hit the roof if that was my boyfriend. There is no way he would be getting away with that kind of bullsh&t! If he wants to act like he is single, then by all means, he is more the welcome.

Answer 8

Its not like he's having s*x with the other breesies.  Just a dance.

Answer 9

He has NO respect for you at all.ANY guy who would "grind" another girl (that's not dancing it is just trashy) will s***w her if he gets the chance.This is his way of having s*x with them by grinding them and he isn't going to give it up for you or anyone else.Dump him and get in church.That's where you'll meet a decent men who respect you.

Answer 10

I STRONGLY agree with Samantha. Is this lame realy your boyfriend? You deserve better than that! He's keeping things with you so casual & he wants to go to these parties without you so he can cheat on you with other girls.

It must be killing you if you care about the guy, coz his actions are proving he doesn't care about you & its no wonder you feel so bad.

Don't let this idiot use you anymore, coz believe me he is stringing you along until he finds somebody better. When he does get serious with another girl, he will dump you & wont even care how heartbroken you feel. He wants to have his cake & eat it too, you know.. He seems to think being with you is the same as being single, but he has the benefit of the attention he's getting from you. Geez, he doesn't even have to try for it, you're the one chasing him, whose chasing you?

You're in a casual relationship, does the names booty call, friends with benefits, & F_ck buddy ring a bell to you? According to the rules, its okay for him to see other girls, and if you care about him WHY would you be okay with that? Are you really happy to share this guy with other girls?

You deserve more respect girl! Dump this loser coz he doesn't know how to keep a good woman around, and I don't think he cares about you nearly enough to be considered a "boyfriend"!! He's not exclusive with you girl & you can't change him, how can you trust him? He might have been honest about dancing with other girls, but he's keeping things from you, he's lying, telling half_truths & deceiving you, there's ALOT he's not telling you. There's no respect or trust in the relationship, so there IS no relationship. I wouldn't let this loser waste your time anymore. Get yourself a new man whose gonna see you everyday & give 100% of his time & affection to you!!

Answer 11

Dump him . He isn't worth it .

It will just continue and eventually get worse .

You are his girl friend and he should be devoting his time to you not all the other females .

This situation will not get any better , only worse . So you need to make up your mind to leave and not look back .

If you stick around it will be a life of h**l heartache and misery .

Best wishes .

Answer 12

Think that if you put up with that, you have a long and misirible road ahead, wise up.