My bf doesn't put enough tip!?

Question

Okay I just met this guy, and everytime we go out to eat, he barely tips! like a dollar or two the most! it's embarrasing. What can I do without offending him?

Answer 1

So he tips but YOU don't ....and he's the jerk...... you have serious  issues.......but you just met and you already call him your BF....tipping is the least of your issues......I bet he paid for the meal too....and drove....dive you pitch in for gas.....thought not...........my advice is for him to find someone less shallow.......and with  fewer self esteem issues....honey

Answer 2

then either talk to him about it or leave your own tip.

Answer 3

I don't know the level of relationship ship you have, so bare with me.

I would a) jokingly tease him for being so cheap b) seriously tease him for being so cheap c) nicely point out the ettiquette totally spelled that wrong...of tipping d) pull out some cash and give the correct tip without making him feel like a looser...which in fact answer d would open up a conversation for a, b, or c.....

Answer 4

that is very horrible and embarrassing.

being cheap is not only about money but has deeper issues.

having said that,even if you just met him say,"uhmhm..when me and my friends come here we tip 10% or 15% the waiter-waitress made a very good job!c´m on tip him what is fair!"hive him a nice smile and hug or touch his hand and press gently like saying:hey!...i really hope he is not cheap only this way.my ex was like this and after a while i discovered he was cheap in affection and he would get"spells"where he would not even takl to me.

Answer 5

Why would it be embarrassing? It's not like all of us swim in money and can just throw extra cash at the restaurants when we've already paid our fee for the meal. I would suggest for you to stop yourself from becoming embarrassed because if you tell him to tip more because it's embarrassing, he'll probably think you're shallow and leave you.

Answer 6

As long as he foots the bill, I really wouldn't care if he/she tips or not.  After all the waiters/waitresses are getting paid by the hour.

Answer 7

That is so embarrassing! My father is like that and I actually give him a hard time about it. I used to wait tables and my own father left me $3 on a $50 check!!! I always carry ones with me so if I run into that situation, I will sneak a few more $$$ on the table.

Answer 8

He sounds like a sensible, shrewd man not to give his money away to strangers. This is usually seen as offensive here in England - it suggests you think they are poor and need your charity. Just because somebody does that job does not mean they need handouts and it certainly does NOT necessarily even mean they are broke! It's seen as saying "my job is better than yours".

I often find it difficult to get that mentality of the US, maybe it can be awkward to tell someone you appreciate their help so you just leave a few dollars and run off!

When I visit Paris soon, I will be interested to know if the rest of Europe is more like England or like the USA.

However, we do have a more reasonable minimum wage for all workers.

He's a keeper, it all adds up over a lifetime!!! :D

Answer 9

I usually linger behind pretending I'm trying to gather my things and add a few dollars to the tip.  I wouldn't make any kind of an issue out of it at the restaurant, but you should bring it up in a conversation.  Also, is it possible that he didn't tip well because the service was poor?  Or maybe he has no idea how much to tip?

It's true--servers have to pay tax on tips regardless of if they get them or not, but overall their actual tips come out to more than 8%, and many receive more cash income that they do not report or pay taxes on. I have to pay income taxes on all my wages.  In the grand scheme of things, IRS is still shortchanged in this deal, as there is lots of tip income that goes unreported.  And I certainly am not a big fan of the IRS, just trying to present the other side of this issue.  

I usually tip big, unless the service is lousy.  I don't do it because I want to increase their hourly wage, but because they are serving me and I appreciate it.  I'm really starting to get tired of the argument that they don't make enough money.  If that is the case, they are either terrible at what they do or the restaurant is really bad.  Many waiters I know make more money than I do.

Answer 10

Personally I can't leave a table that doesn't have at least $1 on it per person.  When I found out that some Chinese restaurant owners steal tips from waitstaff, I started double-tipping.  Putting some on the card, and leaving some on the table.  That way s/he was sure to get at least some of the money free and clear.  

My mom was one of these stingy non-tippers, and she was rich so she had no excuse.  (Please don't judge her just by that.  She had some good qualities, some bad, like everybody.)  I'd be so embarrassed whenever we went out.  Lucky it wasn't often, she didn't like restaurants.  

Here's what you do: Say, firmly, "Since you're paying, I'm leaving the tip."  

But talk to him about it.  He probably won't be offended, and he'll probably just say he can't afford it (if he's honest), or he doesn't care (if he's ashamed of his poverty, or a rich jerk).  

Just say, "I'm not criticising, I just want to know how come..."  OR  "I'm worried that I'm making you spend money you don't have."

You get the idea.

Answer 11

You can tell him that the customary amount for a tip is 15%.  All servers must claim thier sales as income.. 8% of all sales are counted as income whether they are tipped or not.  Meaning if they had a table with a $100 tab..  and they left nothing because the hated the service.. the server still has to claim $8 for income off the bill..  think about it..

Many people do NOT KNOW that the servers get taxed on money they sale ( food served) and wind up owing money they really didn't make when those are under tipped..

Answer 12

Where I live we have to pay 17% of the bill extra in tax and service charge, so they have to be a bloody good waiter to get a tip out of me on top of that.  However, if I'm out with a group of people, we will all put extra money in because the waiter has had to work harder to get us all sorted out and they usually deserve it.

But if he's tipping something, then surely that's better than nothing.  I tip about 10% if I tip, so depending on the kinds of restaurants you go to, a couple of dollars could probably be OK.

I hate all this tipping melarchy.  Nobody tips the bus drivers or pilots who hold your life in their hands, or the guys who brush the streets and empty the litter bins, but we're supposed to give generous tips to someone who puts a couple of plates and glasses down on the table in front of us in a restaurant just because the restaurant owners are too tight to pay them a decent wage!!  

I'd just let your b/f get on with it.  If he gets some irate waiter shouting at him, he can deal with it and I'm sure he's prepared to deal with it should the need arise.

Answer 13

Why don't you offer to leave the tip the next few times that you go out with him and see if he picks up on it.He may be having money problems that you don't know about.If he is just cheap in general...you have to either over look it or find a new boy friend.

Answer 14

Does your boyfriend have to pay for you every time you go out?  

Have you heard of equality of the sexes?

Maybe you should pay every second time you go out, and leave a big tip.  That way he'll get the hint.

Answer 15

I really loved it when I lived in Japan when I went out to dinner and tipping was considered an insult.  Employers get off cheaply by paying waiters and waitress's very little money and expecting the customers to make up the rest of their meager paycheck.  I still tip but give me a break!

Answer 16

If he's paying for the meal offer to do your part by leaving the tip

Answer 17

Well, no offense but not everybody is rich.

When you're done eating tell him you want to pay your share

and leave the other half as a tip for you to pay.

I think that's fair enough.

Answer 18

That's c**p. What's with this country? I don't tip at all, and no one I know does. If they want more money, they should get a better job. It's not enough that restaurants are severely overpriced, but then they want tips! Bite me! [not you]

Answer 19

You should just tell him he's a cheapskate.  If you're dating him and it gets serious than I assure you that his frugal ways will carry over to your relationship and you won't be liking it.  So settle it now, and if he refuses to quit being such a cheapskate, tell him goodbye.

Answer 20

I would suggest making it sound like a joke- e.g. "Is that ALL you're leaving? Cheapskate!" See how he reacts- if he looks offended, then laugh it off as a joke. If that doesn't work, you might want to start picking up the slack and leaving the other half of the tip that needs to be there.

(I can't give a whole lot of advice since it seems only the U.S.A. tips. Is that right?)

Best wishes!

Answer 21

I have a friend thats a server and aside from being taxed, he has to pay the bar at the end of the night. If you order drinks your server will have to pay out of pocket for the bartender to make the drinks. Where at times the server loses money.

Possibly make a deal with him, it's not always fair for the guy to pay for everything. So maybe you leave the tip and he buys the food. Sounds fair. Though he may only be saving a few dollars with that.

But if you just dont want to pay and dont want to tell him he is bad at tipping then ask the server to add a gratuity. It should only be like 10% and if he adds the extra few dollars it will add up to a nice tip.

Answer 22

I would ask if he wasn't pleased with the service.  If he says he was, make no comment;  if he says he wasn't, make no comment.  If he asks why you asked this say, "Just curious" then, change the subject.   I would be concerned about spending time with someone lacking in social graces or, perhaps, Mr. Miserly at his core.   There is, also, the possibility he can't afford to be taking you out to dinner as often as he does in which case, you should pay the tip,  invite him to your home for dinner or, if your budget permits, take him to dinner.

Answer 23

One of my ex-boyfriends had this problem. I, however, was kind of a b*tch about it. He left $1 and some tokens from the water park we worked at for a $30-something meal with excellent service. I just happened to catch it and I started to laugh. I asked if he was kidding, and when he told me he wasn't, I lectured him. I told him that most servers depend on tips to pay their bills, and that at the very least he ought to leave 10%, but 15% was more proper.

It turned out that he had no idea that there was rules for tipping, and was more embarrassed for having left so many cr@ppy tips in the past than my calling him out on it. Just find a comfortable way of telling him. It doesn’t even have to be in a dinning environment.

Say something to the effect of “Oh man, my friend so-and-so isn’t doing so hot. She’s been getting poor tips recently and is having to stretch her dollar. Did you know most people aren’t even aware that it’s customary to tip at least 10%?”

Then there’s no awkwardness involved.

Good luck!

Answer 24

I used to work at a large franchise where table-servers (at that time) made only $2.89/hour + tips.

ALL tips were reported and shared among the other service staff. Bartender, Bussers, Washers, Hostess...

There was a minimum percentage (of the actual sale) that was applied to the sale. If you did not make that with the tip, it came out of your pocket (so to speak). If you made more in tips than that percentage, you got to keep it.

if a table spent $100, and the jerks left a chinsy tip, the server was left holding the bag for $15.

That's why many restaurants include the gratuity on the bill for sales over a certain amount.

Perhaps if your guy understood this system, he might be more likely to include a nice tip in his dating plan budget.

Hope this helps.

Answer 25

Just tip yourself.

And ignore all the answers talking about how they hate tipping. If you can't afford to tip, why go out to eat? Just go to McDonalds.

Answer 26

For those who think "maybe he doesn't make that much money", here's the deal.  If you can't afford the tip, then you can't afford to eat out!!  

For those who say "the meal was expensive enough", here's the deal for you.  The server doesn't see one nickel of that bill.  Unless you count the $2 food minimum wage.  That's right, food minimum wage is MUCH less than minimum wage.  

For those who think "get a different job then", get real.  Maybe they're waiting tables whole in school.  Maybe not.  Either way, if you eat out, you tip!  

For all of those that say any excuse not to tip (which I expect is the majority of the idiots using the above excuses), I say this.  Grow up you leacherous jerks.  If you want to be served, then pay for the service!!  You expect to be paid at your job, don't you?  So don't s***w someone else.  You're probably the same butt-nuggets that run the poor server all over the restaurant for stupid c**p and them stiff them.

The bottom line is this.  Unless you cooked and served it yourself, you need to tip!

Answer 27

Why is it such a problem?  These people may earn more than he does.

I am sick and tired of the USA and EU areas where they earn more money than I do and then expect a tip from me for doing what their employer pays them for.

Answer 28

being a waitress sucks when people tip like 2 dollars....You should ask him to tip more.... talk to him its ok to talk to your boyfriend hahah!

Answer 29

put a tip down also. say she was really good i really liked her so i am going to put donw a few dollars too

Answer 30

Rent some DVD movies with TIP scenes and talk about it then. Give tons of hints and clues...if that doesnt work. I am available for dating and i tip well. LOL KIDDING GOOD LUCK SWEETY.

Answer 31

First, let's examine the situation... Giving tip is not an issue here... Actually the problem is with you, (sorry if im to bold to say this) TIP doesn't mean that you need to satisfy all the needs of the receiver for that single day... IT'S THE ACTION THAT COUNT OR THE THOUGHTS OF GIVING... You should be glad that your bf appreciate that thought, not everybody do that anyway... You shall not and should not  be bother by that.. Actually I can't find any problem in that situation.. just learn to appreciate little things... And one thing is,, If you don't want something, change it,,, If you can't change it, change the way you look at it. Thanks.. Sorry if i'm too bold...