My bf is VERY old fashioned...is it okay to tell him what ring I want? Or is there a way to subtly hint?

Question

My boyfriend is very old fashioned...Seriously...he asked my father's permission to date me before he asked me to be his GIRLFRIEND. (But it's okay...I'm quite old fashioned too!) Is it okay to tell him what ring I want? Or is there a way to subtly hint on my dream ring? I've always known since I was a little girl what my dream ring was. We've been talking about marriage and the future lately and have been together four years...Should I tell my father? Because I know he'll ask his permission. My mother has passed so telling her is not an option.

I am very close to his family. Could I tell his mom or one of his sisters? Or should I just flat out tell him "I want this ring when we get engaged?"

Answer 1

You could go out one day and ask when you all are out just stop by a jewelery store and tell him you just want to look around. Then when you all are looking go over and find the ring you want and just say how much you love it and how romantic and loving it would be for a man to use that ring as the ring to propose to you with. I mean that's a pretty big open hint right there. You will be telling him but not telling him at the same time. If he has have a brain he will then know that is the ring you want.

Answer 2

Many times the jeweler will suggest that he pick out a ring to present to you at proposal and then have you come in and exchange it for the ring you want after the "surprise".  I think that is a great solution.  Maybe suggest this idea when you are casually talking about the future.  He may find this a very acceptable compromise.  You both get what you want!!

Answer 3

Aww, that's sweet. As for subtle hints, you could ask him to go jewelry shopping with you or something and say 'oooh look at *coughcough* THIS one...' or something, except a little more subtle than that, because I suck at that kinda thing...hopefully you're better at it.

Answer 4

Just ask him if/when the two of you are going to do the official ring-shopping trip! It's been done that way too, for centuries. Sometimes the groom would have a ring passed down to him from a relative, or he'd purchase it himself, but sometimes the couple would plan a special trip to a large city nearby, and choose it together. This can be an all day thing, with a special dinner together or an engagement party that evening(or as soon as the ring is ready) involved.

Answer 5

When my boyfriend proposed to me, he had picked out the perfect engagement ring. I didnt tell him that i wanted that kind, he just knew because he knows what i like in terms of jewelry. He knows that i like simple things, and that i dont like yellow gold. So my engagement ring is white gold with one larger diamond and little tiny diamonds on the band. He was very sneaky about it. Looking back i should have known that he was going to propose to me. He kept asking me my ring size, i thought he was just being silly.

Maybe if you drop subtle hints (very subtle!) he will be able to figure out that you want one type of ring and not the other. Then again, if your boyfriend is one of those guys that doesnt take a hint, you may just have to involve your dad (make sure that he doesnt tell your boyfriend that you talked to him about it) to make sure you get the ring that you really want.

P.S. Its ok about being old fashioned. We asked my dad for his blessing when we got engaged!

Answer 6

If you walk past a jewelery store you could subtly point out the style of ring you look.

If friends have gotten engaged recently perhaps you could comment on their rings to him- point out the things you like about them and the things you're not too keen on. e.g. "Mary's ring is really nice, I love that style with just a simple diamond. And while I prefer white gold, I think yellow gold really suits her."

If there's a way of bringing it up with one of his sisters or his mother that could be a good option too.

Answer 7

Id talk to everyone about it!

Tell your dad what you want and talk to his mum & sisters also....maybe your boyfriend will take him mum &/or sisters ring shopping with him...if they know what you want they can stear him in the right direction! :-)

Good luck!

Answer 8

Your boyfriend seems so sweet and romantic.  I would be blessed to have an old fashioned boyfriend because they are respectful, caring, and are like family people.  

Since your boyfriend cares so much about you and your family, he would have no rpoblem with your decisions.  You are getting married and I'm hoping that is your very first, so you should be getting whatever you want and in which ever way you want.

But I suggest you talking to his family members too and see what they have to say to avoid misunderstandings.  Talking to your boyfriend's sisters is a good idea.  I'm sure they will listen, I mean it is your wedding so why fear? Good Luck!

Answer 9

I love traditionalists =] Fortunately my fiance' and I are both fairly traditional. As for telling him what ring you want, a lot of women tell their misters, but I wouldn't dream of it. It was important to us  that my ring come from HIM. As it so happened he chose the VERY ring I wanted, which to me, seemed like a good omen and shows just how well he knows me.

Answer 10

I would say to hint to him, like the next time you're walking through the mall go into a jewelry store and casually browse through the store then walk towards the engagement rings and tell him, wow! That one is really gorgeous! I am sure he will take the hint. If you are really set on this specific ring, then you may just want to point it out and tell him what you want. I personally don't think the ring is that important, but I did what I suggested above to my current fiance before we got engaged and I ended up with something like I asked for, but it was much bigger than I had pointed out. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised!

Answer 11

You could tell your dad, so when your b/f asks your dad could suggest going ring shopping with him.  Or tell his mom or sister, if he even tells them before it happens, and tell her to discuss it with him.

You could also show him a couple rings that you like and let him decide between those.

If you don't think any of these will work, just tell him...after all it is your engagement ring.

Answer 12

Unfortunately, you are stuck. I would hope he didn't buy a ring until he asked you to marry him, then you could go together to pick out one.  If not, buy your own dream ring and wear it on the other hand.

Answer 13

I went around to jewelry stores and got some free catalogs.. cut out the ones I liked, then kind of strategically placed them around my guy's office, in his briefcase, etc. Is that tacky? Maybe so. But you are going to have that on your finger for the rest of your life! Might as well be one that you love!!

Answer 14

Just be really subtle so he doesn't feel backed into a corner by something you feel you HAVE to have - otherwise known as your dream ring, as you say. Hopefully you can see that there may have to be leeway with that. There's nothing wrong with pointing out a particular style of ring which you like - if you happen to be near a jewellery store, go have a look with him, or in a flyer or catalogue.

But leave it to him to choose, according to his own budget. And it is nice to be surprised!

Answer 15

well it's good to be hoest with him but it would be so much better for him to feel he is suprising you with your dream ring just imagine how happyhe will be to see you excited.. I would tell his sister moms have a tendancy of spilling their gutts I think his sister would hint it to him perfectly or tell her that you want him to feel like you are suprised so to tell him that you two were talking about it and you told her how mportaint that ring is to you. hope i could help :)

Answer 16

Show him the ring you want.