My bf is just a plain dumb idiot, what should I do?

Question

I really don't wanna sound mean or rude saying this, but it is the TRUTH. I always gave him space n let him have the freedom to do and say anything he wanted to, but now I'm really getting fed up and tired of his stupidity. He keeps asking stupid questions, he's really slow at understanding things, he's just DUMB!

I'm 21 and he's 22 years old. And no i'm not gonna break up with him, there are things that I love about him.

Please give me a detailed advice, I really can't take it anymore. I get so frustrated..when i keep it in, i get depressed. But sometimes i can't take it and start yelling at him, tellin him how much of an idiot he is. I feel bad afterward, but its frustrating!! I hope you understand how I feel...

Answer 1

if you love him you will find a way to put up with him

Answer 2

I have somewhat the same problem.

My boyfriend and I are on two totally different intelligence levels.

In the beginning of our relationship, it tested us.

We would fight and I got frustrated too.

It upset me for months on end.

Finally, I decided that I didn't want to yell about it one day and have him get tired of it and leave me over something so small. So, it took me a few weeks but we got to the point that when he asks stupid things, I try to overlook it and simply answer. Learn to laugh together about it instead of fighting. It embarrassed me at first, but after stepping over it and learning to not take it so seriously, it isn't as bad as I made it out to be at first.

That's about all of the advice I can offer though,

Good luck with this =]

Answer 3

you should get rid of him and get this money

Answer 4

My advice is to leave him if you can't get along with him. If the person you love makes you miserable, then it will never work. But, since you are determined to stay with him, you have no choice but to deal. You say that he's "slow at understanding things", perhaps he has a learning disability or something like that that he is too defensive to talk about? Try to be patient and understanding and try to put yourself in his place. Don't belittle him, let the fact that you love him help inspire you to be more patient with his shortcomings. But, you know how he is. So, if you want a brainy guy, just go find one.

Telling him that he is an idiot is hurtful and won't solve anything. It will only breed tension and resentment. You can't talk to a partner that way and expect the relationship to stay healthy or survive.

Answer 5

This is definitely not grounds for a healthy and lasting relationship. If someone is getting on your nerves so bad and especially making you depressed, that alone should be telling you something. Communication is an extremely important factor in any good and lasting relationship. It really sounds as though you are on different intellectual levels and in the long run it just isn't going to work. Make a decision and if you stay with him, then you will just have to handle his ways in a gentle manner because insulting him and putting him down will make him worse and you just might become verbally abusive. Make a choice and soon as to not waste both your lives. Good luck.

Answer 6

Don't worry.

I think my friends are dumb as well.

I just ignore it.

But is being smart a big deal?

Maybe you can help him get smarter.

I used to be like that.

Answer 7

If you are not going to leave him, then you will have to learn to deal with him.

Answer 8

Well first of all, don't call him an idiot and start yelling. If this is an issue you have with him, make sure to sit down with him and tell him how you feel when he asks these types of questions. Communication is the key. The next time you feel frustrated with what he says tell him this, "you know when you ask me questions like that it is really frustrating to me." Then you will have to explain why and give examples of when you think he is acting stupid. Remember you can't change anyone but you can work through things. Suggest that he starts reading more or does something more to enhance his education by learning more about history or whatever it is you think he just doesn't understand.

Answer 9

I don't date stupid people.  

What is he being stupid about? Is it a general intellectual deficiency or is there something in particular that you are fighting about?

it sounds like you don't respect him and constantly berating him will cause him to break up with you.  You are behaving in an abusive manner.  That's right, your disrespect for your BF is causing you to verbally abuse him.  He should break up with you if he has any self respect.

So you either accept that he's "an idiot" and that he's "stupid" and stop fighting with him and calling him names and behave like a loving GF or you break up with him and give him the chance to find someone who will treat him well and to keep you from becoming a nagging shrew and turning into someone you don't even want to be around.

Answer 10

Well, I don't know why you want to stay with him. If he is making you miserable now, just wait until you are married. It is multiplied by 100000000000 times.

Answer 11

Just marry him and get it over with already!

Answer 12

I find it bizzare you choose to hold onto a relationship without much respect etc involved.

must have a nice kcoc

-shallow imo

Answer 13

I know you heard this before, but life is too short.  Chuck his bootie before you are pregnant with his unwanted child.

Answer 14

ditch him

Answer 15

So you think that this is a good relationship?  Yelling at him and telling him he's an idiot?  I sure wouldn't put up with it.

Answer 16

Hmm is the problem with him or with you... I can't decide.

Answer 17

i don't think you'll be able to change him in a short amount of time...