My bf is married and I want to call it quits?

Question

I am 25 and my bf is 42. We both work together and I knew he was married before we got together. We have been dating for 6 months and I am ready to find someone single and available. There are times when he cant answer the phone, cant come over, doesnt have much money, etc. I figured this would be ok since I was going through a seperation and didnt want anything beyond companionship. We are in a very emotional and pyshical affair. I just dont want to do this anymore. Any thoughts on not crawling back once I start missing him. And its harder because we work together. I cant take this anymore.

Answer 1

"Oh what a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive.good luck Hohoho!

Answer 2

what goes around comes around..when you find someone they are gonna cheat on you..there is a name for women who do what you do..they are called home wreckers and a few others i won't say.

You are only thinking of your self and not his wife,,you should have never started with him in the first place. 2nd find someone single and let it go...

Answer 3

Call his wife and tell her all about it.  She'll take care of the rest.

It is great that you are still only thinking about what is best for you, not what is right or hurtful to other, innocent people.  Homewrecker.

Answer 4

I want to end this part of my life desperately???? How pathetic ! That is what you will be saying when your husband has a girlfriend and you find out. Karma awaits you!

Answer 5

this is not the section to put this in! U are going to get bitched at by all the married woman thats its wrong what u did!

Now on the other hand i am not going to judge u! I am in a friends with benefits relationship right now and he has a woman to!

So on that note! Ya it really sucks when u are dating someone that is takin or married! U cant see each other as much or have s*x with them as much as u like! Trust me i know his woman would be home all the time! The only time we could do stuff was when she left to go some where and that was not very often!We have also been together for about 6 months. If me and him can keep the friends with benefits thing going i would like to. I also do have a bf to but he is ok with what im doing! But see with u u dont have no one on the side so i understand complely of why u want someone thats single!

Answer 6

You made TWO BIG mistakes with this guy:

1. The most obvious...you're s******g a married man.

2.  You're s******g a co-worker.

Break it off immediately.  If HE wants to f*ck up his life, let him...but do NOT allow him to use you as an accomplice or a patsy when he DOES finally get caught ("she's a w***e", "she seduced me", blah blah blah)

Just remember that any guy who's willing to s***w around on their spouse -- regardless of the standing of his marriage -- is not worth your time.  You should have known better!

Answer 7

Ooy, that's rough. Break it off, it's not worth it. If you're looking for companionship, you're not going to find it in a man who has to be putting you second to some other woman. Find a single man who can commit only to you.

Ignore the user above and do NOT be ashamed of yourself. We live in a world starved for intimacy, so it's makes sense that we would make mistakes trying to find it. Learn from your error and you will be fine.

*hugs* Best wishes, and God bless

Answer 8

This relationship with this married man has very little future for you.  He wants you to stay in the shadows of his marriage.  He is the cake man, he wants the ego boost from having two women who want him.  Even if he left his wife, you will have a difficult time, as she goes though divorce and all the problems associated with breaking up his family.  The statistics show that marriages that result from this kind of start have a much higher divorce rate.  Would you ever trust a man that you know would cheat on his wife?  Lie to his wife and you most likely.  He tells you how much he cares for you, but goes home and sleeps with his wife.  

Best way to end this is to stop ALL contact with him.  Look for another job if you can.  That man is toxic for you.  Withdraw yourself completely.  Limit any contact to strictly business.  No personal conversations, no lunches or continued friendship.  Best way to end the 'addiction' is to end it completely.  No messaging, emails, NOTHING.   Why tell the married man about your date?  It's a real mixed message to try to call him all day, he will think you are just trying to force his hand, to make him jealous.  Send him a clear message, you will no longer be a part of this drama.  You request that he honor your request and not contact you in a personal manor anymore.  Tell him to go home and work on his marriage, his wife doesn't deserve his self indulgent behavior either.  He needs to leave you to move forward with your life.  

Find something else to do whenever you are tempted to initiate contact with this married man.  Got any girlfriend who will be your support system, let you call her instead, so she can remind you just how unhealthy it is for you to keep this going.  Every time you reach out to him, you are going to have a set back in withdrawing emotionally from him.   It may take 3 months or more, but you will get over those feelings if you keep up the 'no contact'.  

You deserve better.  Heck, his wife and family deserve better.  

Answer 9

You should be ashamed of yourself, if you knew he was married why didn't you just stay away?

Answer 10

How cute, married AND "dating".  You should stick with him because you two are meant for each other. ick.

Answer 11

Tell him you don't want the relationship anymore it's as simple as that.  You don't owe him anything but to be nice you could tell him why.  Start looking for another job, because after you see him day after day it will become hard not to get involved again unless your really serious about finding someone else.    

Answer 12

I admire the fact that you are willing to break things off with your boyfriend.  Do you still work together?  If you can, I would look for another job because it will be tough to see him at work.  If you tell him you don't want to continue your relationship, he may try to pressure you at work, or try to string you along.  Distance is key!  

There are going to be days when you miss him so much that it hurts and it will take all your will power to not contact him.  Just remember that this is the healing process.  If you go a week without calling, and then break down you have to start the whole process all over again.  It's like an alcoholic being sober for a week, and then having a beer.  Just remember that each day you do without him, you are a day closer to being healed!  When you feel like crawling back, do something to occupy yourself.  Go to the gym, call a friend, call your family, just do anything that doesn't involve him!  Get away from him now and start dating.  It's only been 6 months...you don't want to waste any more time.  

Answer 13

You got yourself stuck in a hard one honey! You will just have to  be strong and avoid him all together. It will be hard because you work with him. You might just have to become a ***** for a while so he will not want anything to do with you.  

Answer 14

it is women like you that cause the rest of us to be looked down on why would you mess with someones marriage

Answer 15

Don't listen to these people. You obviously know what happened was wrong and you're trying to correct it. I really applaud you for that. It won't be easy I'm sure but just keep telling yourself you deserve a man who can devote himself to you fully...not just when his wife doesn't have him.

This is very new to me due to my father cheating on my mother(his wife of 20 years) and now engaged to the other woman...and honestly I wish everyday the other woman would have been strong enough to just leave him and his lies. It wrecks marriages and families. Find yourself someone who really wants to be with you and just you.

Answer 16

Tell him how you feel and that you want to end your relationship since he is married............you really should of found a man that wasnt married and single so you wouldnt have to go through with all of that.............dont listen to his c**p about him going to leave his wife and all if you stay with him he is just fooling you............i would try to transfer jobs if i could if not then just try to avoid him and do other things to get your mind off of him then i think you will eventually get over him.

Answer 17

Mistake 1) Dating a married man,NEVER A GOOD IDEA,no matter what the situation is.

Mistake 2) Dating anyone you work,NEVER A GOOD IDEA,because when it ends their is to much potential for drama and gossip,by co-workers and the EX.

My advice to you END IT ASAP,and avoid him as much as possible.I understand you may still have feelings for him but take a minute when you feel like you want to go back and think about this, IF IS WILLING TO CHEAT WITH YOU,EVENTUALLY HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU.

ALSO IF YOU WERE THE WIFE, WOULD YOU WANT TO THE RECIPIENT OF WHAT HE IS DISHING OUT.

Remember what goes around comes around.

It seems he is a cheater and a user,STOP THIS ,WHO NEEDS ADDED DRAMA AND COMPLICATIONS IN THEIR LIFE,LIFE IS COMPLICATED ENOUGH!!!!!

Answer 18

he's a married man how would u feel if he was married to u?why would u settle for the crumbs he gives u, u probably also should consider finding a new place to work.at your age u should be looking for your forever mate, the time u spend with mr married man is time wasted on chasing after nothing.