My bf is to deploy in a few months & i feel like he's pushing me away, is this normal?

Question

Thanks for the answers they all make sense & showed me what he may be feeling. I appreciate your input, especially Infantry Princess, Lyn L, His Princess, & April.

Answer 1

It is very normal. there is one of two things guys do before they deploy, either pull you closer or push you away.

He is probably nervous to get deployed. alot of wives and girlfriends cheat on their boyfriends/husbands and they talk about those things so it might be in his mind. You may not be the type to do something like that but its just something he has on his mind. Keep reassuring him that you are going to be faithful and wait for him to come home, that you are going to be thinking about him every day, and are going to miss him more and more every day.this may make him a little more sad but it will help him in the long run when he is really thinking about you and wondering what you are doing at that exact second he is thinking about you.

Answer 2

He is leaving soon and trying to protect your feelings.  Don't be so clingy and needy and get ready for a long seperation.

Answer 3

Yes, this is normal. I am an Army wife and have had to deal with this many times. He will come around, don't worry too much. Just be there for him.

Let me know if I can help in any other way, I think my email address is in my profile. I will be watching the question and see how you are doing. Remember all you can do right now is just be there and listen.

Answer 4

Most soldiers go into waves of different emotions before a deployment.  He probably thinks your acting differently as well.  Its very normal.  Another thing is in the back of his head, he's thinking about the day he is gonna have to say good bye to you.  He's trying to protect him self so he can let you go and get on that plane.  My husband has deployed twice now, and its never easy.  The wait to deploy kills us.  Give him a little space, but make sure he knows your there for him always.  Talk about things that will get him excited, like plans for his 2 weeks R&R or what you both wanna do when he gets 30 days leave when he gets home.  You'll get through it

Answer 5

This isn' the movies. If he's your best friend than him being a little introverted before he deploys will do nothing to soften he blow should he be harmed. He is probably just nervous and might feel awkward having to say goodbye to you. That's my guess.

Answer 6

Yes... he might want you to not get so attached and dependent on him being there because he knows he is going to be gone. Let him know how you feel one time and then back off and let him come to you after he has had time to get ready... he might just be worried or scared about it. If you love him... then just understand... he probably doesn't want to leave especially you behind!

Answer 7

This is "distancing" behaviour!  He is trying to make it easier to leave you. Make him aware of it, because it can get worse.

Answer 8

Think about it!

He's about to be shipped off to a new place that he may have never been to before. This is going to be immensely hard on him -- He's going to be away from everyone he loves and cares about. He has a lot on his mind and he's going to have to figure out a way to deal with all the lonliness, distance, pressure and responsibilities. I'm not validating him for trying to destroy a relationship, but think about it from his eyes.

Just continue to be there for him and do things he enjoys with him. Reassure him that you love him and you'll be there for him during the time he's gone, and you'll be the first waiting when he comes back.

Answer 9

yeah its normal

Answer 10

We haven't gone through a deployment yet so I cant tell you from experience but I can tell you what I have heard my husband say. See we were back home for leave and we were at a small get together. Me and my friend were talking and my husband and his best friends were taking. He didn't think that I could hear him and he told his friend that a lot of times he pushes me away or is hateful because he doesn't want me to get hurt worse if something were to happen to him. To me that doesn't make any sense because I already love him more than anything,but I understood what he meant. He, in is own way, is trying to protect me. He thinks if he isn't always a sweet heart that it wont hurt me as bad if something happens to him. I realize he means best and I don't think anything of it if he gets a little p*s*y sometimes. So just stick by him and things will work them selves out. Good luck girl. Your man is in my prayers.

Answer 11

He's probably just scared and worried.  I would say it is normal.  He doesn't know what to expect when he gets there and he's probably pushing you away to protect you(in his mind)