My bf left my after 4 years we were so happy he dont want me any more ?i can't get over it HELP?

Question

My bf left my after 4 years we were so happy he dont want me any more ?i can't get over it HELP?

Answer 1

I would like to help but need to see a photo of you first.

Answer 2

i kinda know what your going throw i have been their myself. On some real **** this is what you do.

i know everyone is just telling you to get over it but its not that easy.

if you find your self thinking about him think of all the times when he was a *** or being mean to you think of how he left you. let that be the fuel to your fire. not the happy time the ****** up time and then every time you start to think of him you will start so see that it hurt before but now you don't have to take the c**p anymore and then at lease it wont hurt as much and then after time you will heal.

Answer 3

You were so happy he wasn't so get upset with him and the feeling will go away> It's the only way>

Answer 4

im in the same situation, dont look for another relationship just keep yourself busy

Answer 5

Men are dogs. He probably found someone else. 4 years is a long time but I'm sure u will be fine.  

Answer 6

It's possible that your BF got tired of you not following simple instructions.  Why would I think that?  Because you've posted a dating question in the section plainly marked for marriage and divorce issues.  Why is it that simple thiongs are beyond you?

Answer 7

I am so sorry you are in such pain and heartbreak. It is a shock if somebody we love deeply and had committed our life to left us unexpectedly. There may have been signs he was becoming unhappy in the relationship which you may not have noticed because they came on slowly, or it is completely possible he hid his emotions, failed to tell you any issues he was experiencing, and then just up and left. That is gut wrenching because you are both betrayed, by his refusal to share his experience with you and allow you the opportunity to attempt to work on them, and left thinking something is wrong with you.

This is the worst possible way for anyone to leave somebody, especially after several years together. You deserved much more than this. You deserved to be brought into whatever issues he was experiencing and to have the opportunity to work on them, and probably have fixed them and moved on to a happier, and more healthy relationship where two people work together through relationship issues. He robbed you of that right, and totally disrespected you by leaving without fully explaining what was going on, and what happened.

I hate to say this but he sounds like a coward. Somebody who refused to bring you into the issue and discuss and communicate as couples are supposed to do. He sounds like he can't handle the daily stresses of a relationship, which means he is also extremely immature. I will not say you are better off, because you hurt to much to hear that right now. Someday when you have finished grieving this loss, healed from what he did to you, you may look back and see that you truly are better off without him. However, you may not ever get to that point. Some individuals just can't get over their first true deep love, and they cling to how it felt. No relationship after that first love ever has that same golden and uplifting euphoric feeling. First loves are more intense, and innocent than any other relationship. This is because that first love is so totally encompassing in how we throw our hearts into it with abandon. We don't hold back and because of that it is the hardest to get past, as we feel so broken and lost. Our hearts literally are broken and it feels like it will never heal or be the same.

I am sorry to tell you that your heart will never be the same. Every relationship you enter after you heal will have some element of holding back a part of yourself. This occurs because we deeply fear a repeat of the deep  pain of grief and loss we experienced that first time. You won't like to hear this but we all go through this type of pain when we lose our first love. Some of us are lucky and we somehow manage to keep that first relationship for a lifetime, but the reality is that most of us do not. It is a learning and growth experience all of us would have rather not experienced.

You are right, you can't get over him right now. Don't even expect to. Just allow yourself the right to grieve and feel the pain. Don't enter a new relationship until you have fully recovered from this one. I know, the very idea of being with somebody else just feels impossible. That is normal and expected. You still love this man and will for a very long time. While what you are going through is normal and most of us go through it too, that fact won't help you right now. The gut wrenching feelings will stay with you a very long time. Sometimes if we can achieve some level of closure it can help the healing. But, in order to achieve closure the other person must tell us the full truth in way they left us. Without that truth we are left wondering what we did, what we don't have that the next person our loved one is with does have. We feel that something is wrong with us, that it is our fault, something lacking in us. But, regardless of those feelings it isn't true.

There is nothing wrong with you, and you do not lack anything. This man simply is not mature, and he seems selfish. He left you hurting and wondering and that was wrong of him. He should have discussed what was wrong with you, and given you the opportunity to try to work on the issues. He was wrong to simply walk out and not explain himself.

It is what it is, and as hard as it sounds you are simply going to have to go through the grieving process. I am very sorry that this happened and you hurt so deeply. It will take time. How long it takes is as individual as there are people in the world. Each of us grieve differently. This means that while those who have experienced a similar loss may be able to understand to a small degree, they cannot fully understand your pain. They can only know you hurt and that it will take time for you to begin to heal. Again, I am very sorry. Just allow yourself all the time you need and don't listen when people say you should be moving on now, or over him. Only you can know when that time has arrived.

Good luck and I hope you feel better sooner rather than later. Please take care of yourself and try to do somet

Answer 8

If he doesn't want you then he doesn't deserve you!  Move on and do something for yourself!  

Answer 9

I think the key here is to remember that you were together for FOUR YEARS.  You can't be expected to "get over it" in a day.  Give yourself time to feel sad, to grieve the loss, it's normal.  I was with my fiance for six years and when our engagement broke up I was devastated.  Everyone was telling me to get over it and move on when all I wanted to do was feel sad.  So, I felt sad.  I felt sad for two years.  But in that time I came to know myself more and realized that what my ex-fiance had to offer me, was no longer what I needed.  I made new friends and I had moved on.  It's ok to be heartbroken, in fact I'd be more concerned if you weren't.  

Answer 10

If he doesn't want you that means it wasn't meant to be, celebrate, go out with the girls, meet somebody new...you ARE worth more than that, don't you think? And, you deserve better!

Answer 11

grammer

Answer 12

It will just take time

me and my boyfriend just broke up after 7 months

and it is hard. What I did is I threw all of our pictures out, threw out everything he gave me and started over. Get a fresh start, it will be hard at first but it's good to get a fresh start.

Answer 13

Okay so your not the T-Bone Steak he wanted. Let him go find soybean instead.

Your not chopped liver.

Your a good girl and have good hopes and your charm will fire up another person that walks into your path. Seek him out and move on. Sooner or later you will find the right one for you.

Hang in there...it's not  the end of the world...your day has just begun.

Look at it this way; I have more to offer then I can receive and with that in mind keep your positive attitudes in perspective.

It's not easy letting go of the one you love...it's hard as h**l.

Replace that love with a puppy and nourish it to take up your time. Maybe he is not for you....ever think about that?

Somewhere out there is somebody allot worse then you and they are feeling the pinch. Your not alone.

Here's a song for you>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8rYl6K2S...

Answer 14

Did he say something was wrong?  He didn't just leave an not say anything.  There is nothing you can do but move on.  Go to the gym, get a message, drink a bottle of wine.  Do you have any friends?

Answer 15

sometimes men just want freedom! its a hard thing to get over when a break up happens even if it is for no reason he may have been unhappy with the relationship and wanted something else with his life. all i can tell you to do is to hang out with your friends go out and do the things you love to do and stay close to family and friends!  

Answer 16

hunnie you have to try and move on i know that may sound a little harsh but the thing is there are plenty more guys in the sea and its a big world if dumped you then he obviously didnt see the right side of you and he doesnt know what he is missing out on.

from the friend of this account lol

xx

Answer 17

You weren't too happy if he left. it seems like you were living in a fantasy world, and he was living in h**l. Get over that loser. Go hang out with friends, go to a club, go running, go to a gym, do ANYTHING except sit at home and mope over him. He's out living his life, you can bet that.

How can you say "we were so happy" when he left you? You guys weren't THAT happy or he would still be with you!

Answer 18

first of all- it's not that he doesn't want YOU....it's that he wants different things. That's the truth. I know...it doesn't make it feel any better though. You know, I've heard it said that it will take you half the time of the relationship to get over it. Be positive. This is the time to self indulge (not food!) Think of taking that negativity and make it into positivity..... make your self better. Go to the gym, do things that are good for you and your body. You will definitely feel better in that department and will help a ton.

The way I've thought and worked was ****, he wants ot leave me...we'll I'll make myself too good for him. This way, I feel that he's the stupid one for leaving and it's time that I traded up anyway, I'm better than that and him.

You know reality is, if the relationship stayed, obviously you'd be miserable anyway if this exist anyway. Better sooner than later. Think how much it will hurt later.

I'm sorry. It's a new life for you. I'm sure over due for some positive changes. Thanks to one of my x's, I now have a BA Degree :)

TURN IT POSITIVE......It'll still hurt and let it. It has to in order to get over it. And you will.

Your better than that. Much love!