My bf thinks i control him too much?

Question

We having been dating a while now and b4 we got together i told him that i wish that he wouldnt drink or smoke as its very unhealthy. He promised me that he will never drink or smoke ever again once i am in his life... One day when i was in his house looking out of his window, i saw him take a sip of beer while chatting with his frens downstairs his house.. We had a huge argument about it and i told him to limit his drinks to 1-2 cans once in a while. He was ok with it and promised me again. About 2 days ago he went drinking with his friends and ended up drinking 4-5 big bottles of beer and about 6 cans of beer.. Even though he was honest to me about it, i was furious. He told me that i did not appreciate him being truthful to me but how can i not be mad after he promised me to limit himself to drinks? He told me that i am controlling him too much. But i am only telling it for his own good rite? Have i not given in to him by allowing him to drink a few cans once in a while? He says that i am not allowing him to do what he wants... If thats the case why would he even promise me that he will never drink or smoke once i come into his life? Wad do i do?

Answer 1

I think you have the right idea in the fact that you care about him and only want the best but to be honest yes you are being controlling a little bit.

If he was an alcoholic then I would say you are justified but the occasional guys night out with some beers is nothing to be worried about.

What would you say if he didn't want you to ever eat fast food again? and made you promise even though you may like it based on the idea it's bad for you or didn't want you drinking pop?

Yes I know you kinda comprimised but there are going to be the occasional nights that he will get loaded with the buddies.

I would relax with him if you want to keep him because he seems very honest and came clean about everything.  

Answer 2

you're trying to control him too much.  you are not his mom!  he obviously was telling you what you wanted to hear because what other alternatives does he have?  what if he told you "I'm going to drink and smoke as much as i want" will you accept that?  if you don't like it, then you need to go find a guy who does not drink or smoke.

you don't have any right to nag or change anyone except for yourself.  change your own situation, not the situation of others.  

i repeat, you are NOT his mom.  his mom didn't try to stop him so you shouldn't either.  find a guy who fits you better if the drinking is a deal breaker for you.  how would you like it if he said "you need to start drinking beers to stay with me"  would you like that?  of course not. so stop.