My bf wants to keep our relationship on the down low..what do i do?

Question

Hello.Ive been in a relationship for 2 years with my boyfriend and im 4 months pregnant.My boyfriend and I broke up a about a couple of weeks ago and then we got back together.Now that we are together he wants to keep our relationship on the down low and not let any of his immediate family know that we are going out again.His family is aware that im pregnant.Ive tryed talking to him telling him that we shouldnt have to be hiding our relationship but he wont listen he just tells me that for me to be patient and after the baby is born he will tell his family we are back together.I know he is not cheating or anything i'm very sure of that.I just hate that he is hiding our relationship.When I get to talk to him its always at night when his parents & family are sleeping and if we do talk through the day its really quick when no one is around or not there.He is 19 yrs old,going to be 20 this year and im thinking he is old enough to make his own decisions.I dont know what to do anymore.I do want to be with him I just hate that he his hiding our relationship from his family.Ive tryed talking to him and everything but nothing it just seems like he gets upset and he just says you knew our relationship was going to be on the down low till the baby is born if you dont like it or cant deal with it then do what you have to do.but i do want to be with him thats why i have been letting it go.but now its really bothering me.what should i do?any suggestions?or what do you think is going on?please help.thanks.

Answer 1

He has to rely on mom and dad to live, so he needs to move out to be with you.  That includes getting a job.  (you too)

Answer 2

He doesn't want to say anything until he absolutely has to because he doesn't want to suffer from all the criticism he will likely receive from his family.  He wants to find the right time.  I am not sure that I would want to marry him under these circumstances or stay in a romantic relationship with him just for your child's sake.  I would seek out professional counseling and not try to initiate much contact with him until he "comes clean" and admits that he is your baby's daddy and tells his family.  He sounds really immature and it doesn't sound like he is really sure he wants to be in a long-term relationship with you.  Whatever you both decide, make sure that he pays child support for this child because he helped bring him/her into the world also.  

Answer 3

i dont c the prob..... his fam prob dosent like u for some reason and he dosent want to hear their S**t till after the baby is born and they cant say anything about u guys being together

Answer 4

Maybe it was his parents decision for you two to break up -- they might not be supportive of the baby and don't want their son with you for that reason.

He's just trying to please them, they are family, after all.

That or he's not sure what to do either, a baby is a big step, he might be a little nervous and keeping it on the low-down means he has the chance to think about it without other people getting involved and pushing the issue.