My biggest fear, what would happen if I let go and start a new life and?

Question

he says he wants me back? My husband and I have been separated since January, sometimes I see that he's not really sure of what he wants. Recently he told me to move on with our two kids, to meet other men and try to be happy because he doesn't love me. But the thing is, he's said the same thing before but in the end it turns out that he was confused. I'm willing to let go and start a new life, I have a friend whom I like and have been going out with but what happens if he then wants me back. We have two small children. Help? I still love him...

Answer 1

You shouldn't put your life on hold for a what if. If you move on and he decides to come back that sounds like his problem not yours. I mean how long will you allow the revolving door to stay open.

Answer 2

if your willing to move on then you would not be on here asking this very question. you should not have to get permission from us to move on, if you really wanted to you would have done so already. and i get so sick and tired of hearing people say that they have kids with this man or woman. that is not an excuse to stay in a bad relationship. let him be confussed on his own time and you move on with your friend. your kids know who there daddy is so just leave it at that and stop using your small kids as an excuse to stay with him.

Answer 3

I'm in the same situation except I haven't had to balls to leave yet.  If you ever want to talk, email me.  Thanks.

Answer 4

I have a feeling that this well be your life with this guy. When ever he wants to act like he is single he well leave and then when he tires of it he well come back. Respect yourself and your kids and cut him loose. You deserve to have someone who loves you and sticks around to show it. Good luck.

Answer 5

You need to move on and not think about him. If he wants you then let him pursue you, but he'll have to wait in line just like the other guys.

Answer 6

If you still love him...then the marriage deserves a chance.

If you are not in love with him....move on

Answer 7

Love and logic are not always on the same page, so its hard to keep a level head while you are going through this, but you do need to move on with your life, regardless of confusion HE is feeling.

Start moving on by dealing with the loss of the relationship! I used to write in a journal so I could deal with all the pain (and see that I really was making progress even though it didn't seem like it). Eventually, I learned that I couldn't make a new life for myself until I dealt with the past.  I realized that ALL relationships come to an end at some point (either through break-up, divorce, or death) so we all go through this grieving process.

By moving forward with your life, it will turn out happy either way!  Once you are ready, start dating...you could find the love of your life, or just have fun living LIFE.  Or maybe someday down the road, after he has been in some new relationships in order to understand what he truly wants in a  relationship, there is a POSSIBILITY that the two of you could end up on the same page again--just don't count on it.

Don't be afaid...EVERYTHING in life is a risk.  We were given life to LIVE...not sit around and be afraid of going for it!

Keep your chin up and take it day by day!

Answer 8

As long as you are seperated, you are still married.  You must wait and see, until you can no longer, at which time you pursue the divorce and finality.  Neither party should complicate the seperation with another "friend".  

Focus all your energies on your children during this trying time. You'll be glad you did.  

Answer 9

Do you think that you could ever be happy being back with this husband that doesn't seem to know what he wants?  That is the real question.  If you think you can honestly make it work...go for it. But if you doubt that you will ever really feel the same about him again...I would try to move on. You may find you are happier without him...and you will probably always love him because you two have children together and he will always be in your life because of them...

Answer 10

wow! if he has done this before what garanties you that he won't do the same again! think about your happiness and your kids happiness! start a new life with the guy you like forget about your ex husband! good luck to you sweetie!

Answer 11

Your husband is confused and unsure of what he wants.  You know what you want - it is not up to him to decide for you.  Its sad that your young children have to go thru this - but its worse for them - and you - to be shuffled back and forth while he decides he wants you - doesnt want you . . . be strong and decisive - and move on to someone who can make up his mind.