My boss just yelled at me to "SHUT UP!" I called her to inform her that I had to take my husband to the er.

Question

I've worked at this critical care animal hospital now for two months and had to leave early once to finish an 18 page paper for one of my "Masters in Education" courses, because one of my group members left me high and dry and I had to do 6 weeks of HER research in a day and a half to complete the report/powerpoint presentation that accounted for our final.

I work at least 50 hours at this hospital and give them my all.

Now, this week, it looks like my husband might need surgery or he may never walk properly again because of a back injury gone awry. So I called my supervisor in tears telling her I couldn't find coverage for my shift at the animal hospital I work at and she was enraged! While I was explaining the terms of his illness/injury, she said: "For God's sake, just SHUT UP! I am so mad at you. It's always something. Find coverage and do not call me again until you do!"

Is this acceptable? I'm kind of a meek, soft spoken person and was shocked by her reaction, and now the more I think of it, I'm getting madder and madder. Is it okay for her to talk to me like that? Is there anything I can do?

Serious answers only please...Thank you

P.S. The higher up you might tell me to address next is her best friend and they may as well share one mind. Lucky me. I want to quit but I desperately need the money since my husband can't work. HELP!!!

Answer 1

She sounds like a b***h, but that's not the issue.  Jobs are really hard to comeby right now.  In any job situation you have, you need to give everything you have, and do everything you can to fulfill your responsibilites.  If not, there is someone else who will and is eager for your job.  



A couple of years ago my sister's 32 year old husband found out that he had a heriditary heart condition, and he would need a heart transplant within the next couple of years, or he would die.  My sister had a 1 yr-old child, plus she had just had a devestating miscarriage during the 5th month of pregnancy.  3 years later, my brother-in-law started getting extremely sick, and was in and out of the hospital until finally he was admitted to the hospital for 2 months.  He underwent a heart transplant, and has recently began having rejection episodes that cause him to be in and out of the hospital.  

Ever since his diagnosis 3 years ago, he hasn't been able to work at all.  They are getting disability, but it's not enough to cover their bills.  My sister has been working this entire time - with a husband that can barely move AND a young child.  She has had help from our mother and her mother-in-law, but she has still kept working.  She misses time from work, but schedules it enough in advance to where it is not an issue with her employer.  Even with her husband's emergency trips to the hospital, she makes it to work and works her whole shifts.

She's totally my hero, and whenever I think how much I hate my job and want to call out sick to get other things done, I think of what she does.  I completely understand that you want to be there for your husband while he goes through this, but you need to take care of things at your job first.  He will understand.  Do whatever you can to find transportation for him, or negotiate some vacation time for yourself, but don't call your boss at the last minute and tell her you can't come in.  

Answer 2

She sounds like a GED holder who clawed her way up to a supervisory position by staying there for twelve years who is jealous that you are going for a graduate degree.

That said, the reality is that she can talk to you that way if the company supports her. You might want to find a legal forum and find out if you have any rights under the Family Medical Leave Act.

Answer 3

go ahead to her best friend then walk out of that office & into the next.     f m l a  should cover u while ur off.

Answer 4

This is not acceptable behaviour on her part. Take it to the union if you have one or take it to the highest authority.. above her I am sure she is not the woman at the very top .. she has no right to shout like that when your husband needs to be taken to ER that is just unprofessional I definitely would confront her and talk to her again. How can you find coverage when you have an emergency on your hands? If she is the boss and you told her there is an emergency and you don't make a habit of not turning up then I would ask her why she was shouting at  you.. she really should apologize. This is not appropriate behaviour at all. She must have a superior I am sure. I would talk to this person.

Answer 5

Well, she's the boss and it doesn't look like she said anything that was against the law, so yes... she can talk to you like that and as long as you work there, she will.

My concern, however, is that your boss is under the impression that "it's always something." Whether or not that's accurate is beside the point; that's what she thinks and she's the boss. She could be getting close to the breaking point and end up firing you and that would really be bad at this time.

If you need this job and can't find another, then you'll need to cover your responsibilities either there or at home. For example, could someone else take your husband to the hospital? I know you want to be with him, but he'll be in good hands at the hospital while you have to work.

I know it's really hard on you right now with school and your husband being injured and you needing this job. But you have to figure out how to make things work so that your husband gets the care he needs, you keep the income flowing, and can do your studies. It's a tough juggling act, but it's not forever and when you're past it, you can look back and know that you made the right decisions to make it all work.

Best of luck, and I hope this helps.

Answer 6

Well c**p happens, unfortunately. That's why hospitals exist.

Your school obviously has priority over your job, and because of that alone, perhaps you shouldn't be working in a field where the saftey and well being of a living being depends on whether you can show up for work or not.

If you were waiting tables and didn't show up, they might be short staffed but so what if someone needs to wait a little longer to be served.

I would really just say to your boss that you might not be the right person for the job after all because of your other commitments at the time and you'd like to give your two weeks or whatever notice.

Answer 7

That is totally unacceptable - it's basically verbal abuse - she has no right to talk to you like that...

Answer 8

Personally, I'd get a friend or relative to take your husband to the hospital for you, work your shift, and then start looking for a new job.  Bosses like that tend not to listen to reason.  The sooner you find a better position, the better.

Answer 9

I know you need the money, but you need to leave that job. Find a new one. You do not need an abusive boss who loses it like this the second time you need to be excused from work for legitimate reasons.

Unfortunately, there's also nothing you can do about her tantrum. She is within her rights to require you to find a replacement for your shift, and while talking like that is inexcusable on a common-courtesy-human front, you have no legal recourse for it.

Answer 10

Your boss sounds like a real broom stick rider for sure! Do you have any family or friends that could take the hubby to see the doc? I know that sucks but if bossy is going to be a  b  i  t  c  h you might have to get someone else to help out. Good luck to you that's a heart breaking situation! :)

Answer 11

Well, I absolutely detest when people whine and go into long explanations for why they can't because it wastes my time.  If you're not coming in or have to leave early or whatever, just call to say so and find a replacement.  End of story.  If you can't find a replacement, call and say so.  Don't leave any room for me to be able to argue with you.  If you gotta take the time off, the reason doesn't really matter to me, just go, try to find someone to cover but if you can't, don't expect me to forgive you or let you off the guilt hook.  Take your medicine, that's what grown ups do.  You are inconveniencing your coworkers so live with that guilt.  Yeh, your husband is ill and you should put his health foremost over your job but don't expect to be patted on the head for making your coworkers' day worse.  I've been at my current job for 12 years and make every effort to not be late, not call in sick if I am not horribly sick because I know how manic my dept. gets when we are down one person.  However, when I do have to be out, I don't drag my personal problems in, I just call and tell them I'm going to be out.  If they want to know why, then I'll say something but I"m not giving them details since it's none of their business and they can't do a thing to help out.  Grow a backbone of steel 'cause we live in a hard world.