My boy friend ask me to bring my child to stay over night in his place?

Question

I am a single mom, my child is 6 years old and this is my first relationship since I have a child. He is single never have a family but lives with his parents together. My child gets along with him quite well. so far I have been refused him for his asking about if I can bring my child to his place to spend a night with him sometimes. Having him come over to my place is what we have been doing. but I can see he gets upset, he said he can't understand what is the difference between he come over to my place or I bring my child to his place. Why I can't compromise..? How can I explain it well for him to be able to understand? by saying I just don't feel that is the right thing to do as being a mom seems not good enough for make him understand. I am also worry about if we don't handle it well, Could this issue leads to ending of our relationship?

Answer 1

If he is asking that your child stay with him when your not there, you should follow your motherly instincts. If it makes you uncomfortable then there is a reason for it. Stand your ground if your relationship with your boyfriend is wounded by this then it may be its time to take a second look at it!  Just tell him you have anxieties about being separated from your child and you will let him know when you are ready to deal with it!  

Answer 2

I can understand that you would like to be in a relationship. I don't think you should forfiet your life because you have a child. I think the main idea of the story is - make sure you have a good ,caring and trustworthy boyfriend.  He perhaps have a mate at his home which you wouldnt be able to just go to his house ...or even probably all the previous fights have made you more distance with him. He's not the baby dad so he should chill out!

Answer 3

First of all, you need to readjust your grammar.

You never indicated the reason why is it a bad idea for your child of 6 years old to hang overnight at his place where he is living with his family.

If you're too unsure, just sleep over with him too.

Make an excuse that it's his first sleep over, so you'll just come over and sleep overnight just to make sure things goes alright and that he won't miss his mommy. Then if it goes well, next time, just visit and check up on him.

If you're afraid that he'll take your son and butcher him and put him into meat pies where the whole family (his side) would enjoy, then what's the point of being in a relationship with him if there's no trust?!

TRUST, COMMUNICATION, VALUES&BELIEFS, and HONESTY

Is what you truly need from a relationship. You must trust him, and he must trust you, both must have trust to stay in a relationship. If not, say Good Bye to your boyfriend.

If you are completely unsure, and find bruisings or finding the child to be absolutely quiet and scared and emotionally irrational, then something is wrong with the man. If the man is being more involved with the son than he is with you and more showing you more love than he actually should for the son, then he wants your son, possibly a pedophile.

Be careful. I wish there was an easier way for a system to check up the backgrounds of a person... Just so we can be more safer.

===edit===

my friend said that, "if he's not respecting my wishes, then he's g*y, LMFAO"

Answer 4

Why would he want you and your child to come over to his parents and spend the night?  that is really disrespectful. Not only to his parents but also your son.  Where will he sleep while you 2 r making out?  Let the son be in his own enviorment this will make him more comfortable.  

Answer 5

Just be careful.

Most paedophiles are targeting single mom (vulnerable).

I'm not saying that your boyfriend is a pedo, but just watch out.

You have made the right decision to follow your motherly instinct to protect your child.

You should get to know your boyfriend more before allowing your child to be too attach to him.

And I found it strange that your boyfriend keeps asking for your child to stay over at his place even if you were to stay there too, it's some kinda like trying to make your child gets comfortable at his place so next time your child would want to stay there without your company.

It's better to lose your boyfriend than to regret later if your child gets hurt because of this relationship.

Answer 6

Im pretty sure this man is good for nothing, It shouldnt make any difference if your kid is there or not, and saying can he come over, all the time is not right. He probably wants him to himself or something...watch your back lady.  

Answer 7

Are you saying he wants your child to sleep over at his place without you being there? I have red flags going off right now. Why does this guy keep asking if your child can sleep over? Why can't he respect your decision? I apologize in advance if I'm not getting this right, but any guy insisting that a child sleep over at his place rings warning bells. I wouldn't trust this guy alone with your child, or even with you there. He should be able to respect your decision. You are the only one responsible for your child. Not him. If he can't respect your decision now when you're not even engaged, what do you think would happen if you were to get married and he doesn't hear you, doesn't listen to you, and doesn't respect your decisions when it comes to your child? Do you think this guy is worth it when he doesn't listen to you? I would think that your child's safety is more important than having this relationship. There are other men out there who actually listen and respect their girlfriend's decisions with regard to their children.  

Answer 8

worry about your child first he should not be staying over  children get confused and anxious with new faces bringing someone into your home who is not married to you  is confusing for them you should let your child be a child and enjoy your friend but leave sleeping over out period until you have established more permanent ties that will not leave your child with abandonment issues personally a guy living with his parents puts up a red flag with me and that pushing for you to put you and your son in his territory raises another you really need to reevaluate what activities you are doing around your child I know it gets lonely but as a single parent none even met my daughter until something was established and NONE  slept over except her friends

Answer 9

It might lead to the end of your relationship but don't let that cloud your judgment. Your number 1 priority is taking care of your child. It is VERY weird that he gets so upset that you wont let your child stay with him. Too many weird things happen and you need to go with your instinct. If he comes over, then you will be there and he would not likely try anything, but at his house, there's no supervision. That's why it seems strange that he insists on having the child at his place. Go with your instinct, if he cares for you and your child, he'll wait until you are comfortable with it.  

Answer 10

What's with him and the kid? I think that's a little weird... No offense but be careful who you date because there's some men out there that seem normal but want to get to your child, and I'm sure you have a darling little boy, I wouldn't let him out of my sight with that man. (If you get what I'm saying.)

I would tell him no, say he's too young. Also, you don't want your son getting too attached to this man, because if you and the man break up, your son will be very confused.

I don't think this will lead to the end of your relationship. But I think temporily it might cause some tension.