My boyfriend's depressed, and it's getting me down as well. What can I do to help him and myself?

Question

My boyfriend's been through a lot lately. He failed his GCSEs and ended up quitting the retakes earlier this year, he landed himself a job that he hated, and he left home after an argument with his dad. He's now living with a friend of his, but there are more arguments there, and recently my boyfriend's just developed a 'I don't care anymore' attitude; he's lost all his motivation, he won't go to work and seems unable to pick himself up. He never comes to me anymore and tells me what things are going right in his life - he just seems low all the time, and says he wants to tell me what's wrong, but can't find the words. Apparently he constantly thinks that something else is going to go wrong, and he's also displaying physical signs of depression like loss of appetite, headaches and insomnia.

He went to the doctors today and even if they prescribe him medication for this, he won't be able to afford the prescription! He's got no money, no qualifications and no home. This wouldn't be so bad but he's got no motivation either.

Thing is, he's my best friend and I love him more than anything in the world, and the only thing I want to do is help him. Only thing is, I can't - I've given him all the advice I can think of and I'm forever offering my support. What more can I do? I feel helpless because it seems now that no matter what I say, things don't get better. It's really getting me down and I'm afraid of being pulled down with him, so how do I keep myself happy and carry on being supportive of him at the same time?

Please say you understand my situation. It's driving me mad :(

Answer 1

you need to change your thinking,what ever you feed your mind,there must be some good things that you can think on,do you get scared when you go to a scary movie your emotion donot know that it is not real they only respond to what ever you feed them.I sure hope this helps.

Answer 2

It is tough when you love someone who's depressed because it seems like you're trying to live their life for them as well - but often you don't get any assistance.

The biggest problem is that whatever you do it is only your boyfriend who can make the necessary changes.  Yes you can encourage and support him, but it's got to be him that actually takes action.

If there's any way he can move somewhere else that would give him a more stable and supportive living environment.

Whilst he focuses on the things that could go wrong then they are more likely to go wrong, but if he focuses on what could go right then there's a lot more chance of those things happening.  If he doesn't think he can get a job so doesn't do anything about it then he probably won't get a job. If he decides he can get a job (maybe not exactly what he wants to start with but something that will get him going) then he probably will get a job.

There are lots of stories on the internet about well known people who became successful even though they had no qualifications.  They can seem a bit unreal though so the links below talk about your everyday person who has succeeded - not become a multi millionnaire, but have achieved more then they thought was possible.

So, keep encouraging him as much as possible but remember that it is only your boyfriend who can make the changes.  Keep doing things for yourself but don't live your life through him.  Spend time with other people who are positive so you can maintain a balanced viewpoint.

Best Wishes

Sharon

Answer 3

Step 1: Ensure your emotion is controlled daily. Don't over reacted, stay calm and don't get worry easily

Step 2: Think before your action. Don't repeat her past experience on herself. Remind herself from time to time.

Step 3: Be confident to yourselves. Remember everyone is the winner. "Only One sperms out of millions fertilize an egg"

Step 4: Get a group of close friends to share your experience and get some activities that would occupied your time

Step 5: Increase scope of life. Meaning that she should involve in more social activities like dancing, outing and others.

Step 6: Put a rubberband on the wrist. If there is a negative thought, Tighten the rubber band and release it. Hence the effect of the pain would be able to reduce the possibility of negative thought.

Good Luck.

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Good Luck.

You may read more articles of mine through

Besides, If you have more psychological problem, please write to me at

http://drgeorgeleow.blogspot.com/