My boyfriend's ex is due to have his baby. Should I leave?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 months. He is my first serious boyfriend and I lost my virginity to him. When we met he told me he had not been in a relationship for 3 years, and that all of his relationships have been long ones (6months was his shortest, 3 years his longest). He is 22 and I am 17. After a month of being together he told me that his ex was pregnant with his son, which is due next month. Now he's expecting me to help with the baby when he's born. He said he didn't tell me when we first met because he didn't want to lose me. He said it was a one night stand and that he wasn't with her at the time, although he was with her for 3 years, which was 3 years ago. He said she had another boyfriend. But now he says that she split with her boyfriend and wants to get back with my boyfriend, but he doesn't, as he loves me. I'm confused. I really think I love him and that he is "the one", nobody has made me feel that way before. I'm just paranoid that he is going to change once the baby is born and that he will cheat or leave me for the mother of his child. He keeps saying that if I want to stay with him I will have to love his son too. It feels like he's already changing because of the baby. He promises he won't and that his family want him to stay with me, as they don't like the other girl. He said his family know how much he loves me and swore on his Mother's life (who he adores) that he would not leave and that he loves me. What should I do? He's a really nice guy and I don't want to lose him but I'm scared that I'm going to get hurt. Anyone with similar experiences?

Answer 1

Run, Run as fast as you can! All it will be is drama with the baby and the baby's mother for life. You only have 2 months invested in this man, you have yet to really know him. Your young and don't need to be mommy to a kid that isn't yours. Being a mother is SO much work! Enjoy your youth and lack of responsibilities, you can find another man in a heart beat.  

Answer 2

Yes, you should leave.

Answer 3

He could have been honest with you from the start but he wasn't so... he allowed you to get emotionally involved with him then decided to lay the truth on you and that was wrong. You have only been involved with him for two months and since he was the first guy you ever had s*x with it makes you feel he is the one but he probably is not. Often s*x means more to a female than it does to a male so take some time out away from him as he tends to the issues with the birth of his child and the mother of his son. You are so young and can do much better than this than to take on all of this drama that he wants to put in your life and you are feeling reserved about all of this to begin with for a reason. He will be financially responsible for this child for the next eighteen years and will always be connected to the baby's mother for a life time. The relationship he has with you right now is still exciting and new to him and once this phase has passed other parts of his true character may come out that he has not shown you yet. He should have given you the choice and respected you enough to know the truth about about having someone else pregnant before he ever allowed you to make the decision to sleep with him and that alone was selfish against you on his part.Maybe he should have a dna test to be sure if he is really the father of this baby?  It could be quite possible that the child is not even his if she has been with another guy and wants him back in her life because things did not work out with the other man she was involved with? He may be promising you at the moment that the child will not change anything between the two of you but.. your right he may feel differently after being with the girl at the hospital through the birth of their child if the baby honestly is his? I would back off and away from him untill this over and see how all of this affects him.  

Answer 4

Your 17 ? Get out while you can, Why did he have a one night stand with someone he broke up with 3 years ago? they obviously still have something there.

You should be free and enjoying life not getting tied down to a man with a baby. You may feel hes the one for you because he was ure 1st but think in the long run. isn't

Answer 5

First of all, he hid the fact that someone was pregnant by him for an entire month.

That speaks volumes.

And he's got a lot of cojones thinking youa re going to automatically assume the responsibilities of a 'mom.

You're 17. LEAVE.

Answer 6

I think you already have been hurt.  You are 17 and this is too much for you to deal with.  I am in my 40's and it would be too much for me to deal with.  As much as it may hurt now, why start your romantic life with someone who causes you so much pain.  You really can have and can become anything that you would like.  Do you really want to start by raising a child that isn't yours with a man who lied to you?  I would think you would rather seek other options and find the prince charming that you dreamed of having since you were a little girl...he is out there.

Answer 7

Unfortunately guys who lie this way to a woman would be liars always… and cheaters.

He showed that he can´t control himself and it seems that as soon as there appears a woman who would let him into her pants he can´t resist.

You have been with him for 2 months which is a short time and although it hurts a lot now it is not worth to go on… as on the long run it would hurt you more and more till you come to the point and either destroy your own life or give up having lost all your precious youth.

He is not worth it and what he expects from you is monstrous… There will always be the babies mother who thought that he would have started a relationship again with him if it was not for your fault and he will always accuse you as the guilty one for not being together with his child and the mother of his child – because he has chosen you and you should be grateful for that…

You may laugh now, but it will turn into your reality pretty soon if you don´t put all your strengths together and walk out of that vicious circle now.

He will be with her, always and in the end he probably will leave you and be with her permanently.

Don´t let him manipulate you.

You are young and the future is yours, so go away and make something worth out of your future and do not waste it in dubious stories, which always have a tragic and sad end…

Good luck!